Parental Advisory: Explicit Content

First off, thanks to Sundancer for approving today’s headline. And now, this goes out to all those under 18 readers – cover your eyes with your hands, slightly part your fingers and peep through them to continue reading.

What image does the word ‘transvestite’ conjure up in your mind? As far as I'm concerned, till yesterday, the word always reminded me of that scene in Trainspotting where Begbie meets this dame in a [gay] pub and gets busy with her in a car. Seconds later, much to his annoyance, he realises that all this time he had been making out with a man!

Why am I bringing this up? Well, because I made a new acquaintance yesterday – someone I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget. Why? Because this person almost gave me a heart attack. And no, she’s not the transvestite.

I’m in a bank. This young woman walks right up to me and says ‘hi’.
I say hi.

She tells me we studied in the same school.
Oh really?

Now she’s in Bangalore.
Uh-huh.

She’s now married and has a kid.
Oh, that’s nice.

She then asks me if I’m still in touch with her younger sister.
Who? Do I know your sister?

After a lot of explaining on her part, realisation finally dawns upon me. I did know her sister – like five years back. The only problem was I thought her sister was a mister – at least that’s what her dear sister had told me. And in a drunken stupor at a party, I’d even locked lips with this Mister Sister who I thought was just a pretty boy! Goddamn transvestite! And a liar at that!

After that uncalled for enlightenment, I simply didn’t know how to react, initially at least. It was a real shocker, I have to admit. Then I got pissed, replayed the whole scene in my mind, felt cheated, got more pissed, thought of posting a big hate note to all transvestites in general, then decided not to make an ass of myself, so instead ended up bitching about some stupid American Idol contestants.

Twenty-four hours later, here am I – writing about this entire mess of an episode. The only difference now is I’m laughing about it – laughing at what had happened and laughing at myself for taking it all too seriously. Not that I condone that person’s lie but since I believe in trying out everything at least once before I kick the bucket, I think this has got to be one heck of an interesting experience for me. Plus, now I’ve an answer ready with me if anyone asks me ‘how does it feel to kiss a person of the same sex’.

And oh… I watched Trainspotting again this evening and almost split my sides watching Begbie’s post-realisation reaction. Still laughing my ass off thinking about it!

Dial I for Idiot

You don’t need to visit Dialidol.com to get ‘predictions’ on who’ll be the next American Idol contestant to get the boot. There’s a much simpler way to figure that out. On performance nights, Idol contestants somehow tend to give the viewers a clue as to who will be going home the next day. Last week, Brett ‘Ace’ Young was dressed for his own funeral. And then he sang the symbolic That’s All to drive in the final nail in his coffin. This week, Kellie Pickler had a serious case of a really bad hair day. So no prizes for guessing who got the boot this time.

Fox finally played the official goodbye and good riddance song You Had A Bad [Hair?] Day for Kellie. And about time too! While she had simply bothered and bewildered us last week with her rendition of Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered, this week she mercilessly mutilated Unchained Melody; it was horrible even by her own standards.


Useless Trivia: Dialidol.com had predicted that either Kellie Pickler or Paris Bennett would be in the bottom three. They were in the bottom two. Argh…. Like anyone cares!

More Useless Trivia: Simon Cowell is neither to be trusted nor taken seriously. He had ‘predicted’ that Taylor, Chris and Kellie would be the Top 3 finalists. Now Kellie is gone [finally! Thank God for that!] Besides, it was also Simon who had advised Chris Daughtry to come out of his comfort zone and be more versatile. A week later, after taking Simon’s advice, Chris found himself in the Bottom Three - for the first time!

Even More Useless Trivia: How many blind men does it take to see a dumb blonde? Answer is one. Kellie Pickler is so dumb, even the blind operatic tenor Andrea Bocelli could figure out she’s a blonde!


My predictions for next week? As much as I like li'l Paris, I think she’ll be the next to go, though I wish it were Taylor Hicks. That spastic prick will stay around much longer, and continue climaxing on stage. His name should go into the Guinness Book of World Records as the only guy who sang himself to multiple orgasms on stage.

Ban Extreme Stupidity on TV: Send Kellie Home

Okay children. Tonight, we are going to learn something important. It’s called ‘How Not To Make An Ass Of Yourself On National Television'. And volunteering for tonight’s show is the original dumb blonde - American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler!


Mockingbird: Kellie, after your Tuesday night’s performance, you have been credited with unwittingly slapping a ‘horror’ tag to the 1990 movie Ghost.

Kellie Pickler: Gee… have I? Err… is that good or bad?

Mockingbird: Err.. bad because your rendition of Unchained Melody was horrendous! Really, what the fuck was that?

Kellie: Aww… did I butcher the song? I’m so sorry.

Mockingbird: Darling, you not only butchered the song, you single-handedly massacred every single eardrum that was tuned in Tuesday night or whatever night they air the show in other countries. It was the most robotic, emotionless performance in the history of karaoke singing. It was, as Simon Cowell would say, an utter mess from beginning to end.

Kellie: Ryan, can I have the community snot rag, please…

Mockingbird: Performances aside, did you know that the song was written by film composer Alex North as a theme for a 1955 flick Unchained and the lyrics, which tells of a prisoner’s anguish over his girlfriend, was penned by Hy Zaret?

Kellie: It was? Aww.. I was thinking it was written by The Righteous Brothers in collaboration with LeAnn Rimes and sung by Patrick Swayze for Demi Moore, which turned out to be pretty sad for Demi Moore because Bruce Willis got jealous and divorced her! Sad, because I like happy endings.

Mockingbird: So America, if you like happy endings too, please send Kellie home… if they are willing to take her back. And judge Paula Abdul too to a good therapist – she seriously needs help.

Windows to Billy Bhai’s World

Today was an unbelievingly crappy day. Spent the entire day and a better part of the evening locking horns with this black and silver monster that runs on Windows XP and refuses to acknowledge that it’s here to make life simpler for me, not complicate it. After hours of, what they call, troubleshooting, I was ready to shoot just about anyone and anything when I got this mail. Normally, I find forwarded mails quite annoying but the ‘forwarder’ of this particular mail – besides lightening my mood – also made me believe in telepathy!

I’ll paste the text here:

WINDOWS XP ERROR MESSAGES
A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
• Close your eyes and press escape three times.
• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
• Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"


Wait! There’s another one!

BILL MEETS SATAN
Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner.

Without hesitation, Bill says, "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows XP!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."


Ahh! Talk about poetic justice...

I don't wanna be a Superhero

I got bitten by an itsy-bitsy irradiated spider today, just as I was coming out from the shower! Where – you don’t need to know that. Anyways, following that close encounter of unwanted kind with the tiny arachnid, I’ve been feeling strange all day. I got fever, and I’ve been getting sick too.

Okay, I admit I’ve been throwing up since 3 am - hours before I got in touch with the little bugger - most probably because I ate fish last night, which, it turns out, I’m allergic to. So what if I was trying to make the whole stuff sound a little more interesting! I mean Peter Parker got his powers after he got bitten by an irradiated spider, right? And you’d rather read about genetically altered spiders than your common garden spiders, right? Right? Right?

But come to think of it, I wouldn’t want to be a vigilante superhero. I mean that’s such an unappreciated job. Allow me to elaborate just a tiny bit. First: They are overworked and underpaid… and in some cases not paid at all and are forced to take up lousy day jobs, barring a certain Bruce Wayne from Gotham City. Second: Look at Spider-man, X-Men and most of the comic book superheroes. They save the world and at the end of the day, what do they get – boos and jeers! Now that has got to suck big time! Plus, I don’t think I’d look great running around the neighbourhood dressed in bright colourful tights. And I have no intention of getting arrested by the fashion police.

Besides, how can you take a guy seriously who goes around wearing blue and red full body tights! A certain Uncle Ben once said: “With great power must also come great responsibility”. And if colourful tights come as a part of that great responsibility, I’m paying a late visit to the hospital to flush out the toxin from my system
left behind by Spider-Man’s far cousin.

Down with despotism!

Following two weeks of public protest calling for an end to Nepal king Gyanendra’s absolute rule, the monarch, in a televised statement on Friday, April 21, announced he was restoring executive power back to the people. The public threw his offer for truce back at his face, refusing to believe that their absolute monarch could have a sudden change of heart. And the people were right – the king’s willingness to play along was, at best, a façade.

Looking back at the events that have taken place since then, this obviously seems to be the king’s idea of handing executive powers back to the people:

# Curfew imposed on Saturday April 22, a day after the king made the offer.
# More than 100 pro-democracy activists injured in clashes with police on Saturday.
# The ban on cell phones begins Saturday afternoon, a move said to be aimed at restricting text messages sent to organise protest rallies.
# An editorial in the state-run newspaper - Rising Nepal - warns of a ‘historic blunder’ if the opposition parties failed to accept the king’s offer!
# As per APF and CNN reports, police lob tear gas at pro-democracy protesters on Sunday, April 23, on the edge of Kathmandu, whose residents are under a new curfew and a cell phone ban. In another part of the city, the police charge protestors with batons to disperse the crowd.
# As per an APF report, a protestor dies in India on Sunday from bullet wounds received in clashes four days earlier in Nepal; he had been rushed to Lucknow for treatment.

Is anyone still buying the story of a despot’s change of heart?

Nepal continues burnin’

There’s a mass without roofs
A prison to fill
There’s a country’s soul that reads post no bills
There’s a strike and a line of cops outside of the mill
There’s a right to obey
And a right to kill

- Calm like a Bomb, Rage Against The Machine

Nepal Burnin'

This is something I made a while ago. News channels depress me, so do those anti-democracy forces. I won’t try to write today. Instead I’ll quote here a speech made by Rage Against The Machine, one of my favourite bands, on 02 February, 1993, at Stokholm at the Melody.

"We’ve got to regain knowledge again, and we’ve got to regain an understanding again, of who we are. Not just those chosen to fuel systems, but individuals who have the power to criticize and analyze, and attack injustice when it becomes prevalent and apparent in front of our faces like it is in ours right now. We’ve been all put to sleep. Put to sleep to a system. A system that continues to perpetrate ignorance amongst our spirit and amongst our minds. One that wants you not to act. A system that would rather see all of you at that bar drinking beer filling your minds being put to sleep with beer or with drugs rather than acting against it and fighting a system which has been perpetrating imperialist lies and other fucking bullshit for five hundred years. So fuckin’ drink up or fuckin’ wake up. You’re part of the solution or you’re part of the fuckin’ problem.”

AI: Conspiracy theories and stark realities

American Idol [Chris] or American Idiot [Kellie] - the choice is America’s

Ace is out of American Idol. That makes me wonder if I’m really getting better at making predictions. Maybe I should start hosting knowyourfuture.com and start making some dough out of it. Maybe I should send a condolence card to cousin G for Ace’s un[?]timely elimination from AI. Maybe I should just stop posting stuff about this stupid reality show. Maybe I should not…

Even though they are yet to air the show here, I got the shock of my life this morning, thanks to the message boards. Chris Daughtry is in the bottom three [!] this week, with Paris and Ace completing the triangle. This is completely insane! Normally I don’t get all worked up over a reality show but this is simply ridiculous. How can a guy as talented and versatile [as he proved to nay-sayers Tuesday night] as Chris be in the bottom three, which incidentally is a first for him? And how in the hell did Kellie Pickler who, in her own words, “butchered” the song, secure her spot in the safe zone? C’mon, even Ace did better than Kellie this week! Over the months, this dumb blonde has gone from somewhat amusing to downright irritating. Will votefortheworst brigade please stop this nonsense now!

Conspiracy theories are also already afloat message boards. The AI producers are now being accused of manipulating the bottom three for the ‘drama/shock factor’.
Comment: Probable since Chris was, till now, being seen as the contestant most certain to win the title.

On the other hand, some are pointing at the North Carolina angle of the story, which goes something like this: Both Chris and Kellie are from NC. Chris is talented and already has a solid fan base voting dedicatedly for him week after week. Kellie can’t sing and is being viewed as the worst contestant. So the NC people are rooting for Kellie to see to it that one of their contestants is not voted out early, confident that Chris will get enough votes with or without their help.
Comment: Now how stupid is that!

Yet another theory is that people got pissed when they found out that the AI producers were actually ‘grooming’ Chris to be the next American Idol and stopped voting for him.
Comment: Can you seriously believe that!


Whatever may be the reason, what happened is unbelievable and unfair. But then, one thing’s for sure – Chris Daughtry is a star in his own right and he’ll do well with or without the American Idol title.

Now before we go dissing the Fox reality show, we gotta remember one thing: this is the show that helped him showcase his talent to the world. Had he not participated in the contest, a large majority of us would never have got to listen to his music. And if the conspiracy theorists are right and Fox is messing up Chris’s chances of making it to the top, these TV producers should also remember that a lot of people like me who never ever gave a shit for reality shows are tuning in to AI just to watch Chris perform. If Chris goes, so will the viewers.

With Chris on stage, It’s A Beautiful World indeed!

First off, thanks again to Travis of mr.daughtry.com for making video clips and mp3s of Chris Daughtry’ Tuesday night American Idol performance available on the fan site. Because out here in our part of the world, we get to watch the show only after something like 24 hours!

Now, to set the ball rolling, let’s first start with the week’s theme: with the emphasis on Rod Stewart’s The Great American Songbook songs - y’know songs from 1930s and 50s - I was a tad worried for Chris. I mean he has this whole rocker thing going on so well for him and suddenly they drop that Rod Stewart bomb. What song could he possibly perform from that era? It was a million dollar question that had stumped many Doubting Thomases like me. But that was until the rocker dude casually walked into stage and blew everyone away; yes, including Simon the Great who even tried to take credit for Chris’ performance!

Chris belted out What A Wonderful World wonderfully and with relaxed ease too [though, in the pre-show footage, he is shown saying: “It’s harder for me to sing a song like this as I’m used to belting out at the top of my lungs”]. It was something totally different from what he usually does. And he dressed the part too! And thankfully, the eye make-up he was sporting last week is also gone!

Okay, now, let’s get some things straight. For those under the impression that all contestants had to belt out Rod Stewart songs this week, here’s the lowdown - The Great American Songbook series is a compilation of American classics performed by Rod Stewart and not his originals, as some of us dimwits initially thought. What A Wonderful World, originally by Louis Armstrong, is featured in Stardust, the third installment in the Great American Songbook series. Though I’ve heard only the original version, I’m sure Chris made Rod Stewart a happy man, besides showing us a new side to him and - this is important - making a certain Mr. Simon Cowell look like a total ass.

As shown in the pre-show footage, after hearing Chris do his thing during rehearsals, an impressed Rod Stewart says: “You did great! Let me give you a hug. Well done!”

In the next clip, Rod is again all praises for Chris: “Chris, he was brought up on heavy metal… I think he did a wonderful job! You know, this is a break out for him. I mean I can’t imagine Ozzy Osborne singing this song for instance; no disrespect to Ozzy Osborne, but it’s a vocal push.” Now, how dope is that!

Now, time for the judges’ comments, ad verbatim:

Randy ‘The Dawg’ Jackson: “For everyone who thought there wasn’t another side to Chris, dude you just slayed them. You showed the sensitive side of you and it was the bomb!”

Paula ‘fluttery’ Abdul: “You have definitely proven to this guy [points at Simon] … you have shown that you are in this to win. You broke out of any mold that he [Simon] thought you were in and you did a fantastic job!”

Simon ‘$#@*’ Cowell: “I have to take a certain amount of credit for that performance, because I’ve said for a while that you have to change your style. I think you have proven the point by listening to me that you could do better in this competition. Chris, I thought it was a great performance. Congratulations!”

It’s 6.30 pm right now, which means it’s another hour and a half worth of wait before I get to view the entire show on TV. Oh, by the way, I read somewhere online that Ace did a pretty decent job Tuesday night. Still I stick to what I said earlier – it’s Ace’s time to get the boot this week, since Kellie Pickler still continues to reign as the worst contestant at votefortheworst.com, a site dedicated to the cause of promoting and voting for the worst American Idol contestant.

Ace That!

I was watching the American Idol Top 20 Party video* just a while ago and also noticing how Brett ‘Ace’ Young loves to hear himself talk! He’s talking about what people are talking about him; he’s talking about how he has to go incognito even to get a pair of jeans or something; he’s talking about how he’s become – get a load of this – a household name at 25, and he’s talking about the affair he’s soooo not having with his ‘television co-star’. Aww com’on, Mr. Ace! You were on that show as a ‘guest star’ and you know what that means – small, short, insignificant and extremely forgettable role.

Fortunately for his ego, they’re gonna have a rerun of the episode, though not because of his great performance or anything. Isn’t it pretty obvious that the television people are trying their best to cash on in Ace’s 15-minutes of fame which will be over anytime now – this week if I’m not mistaken.

If American women have any sense left, they’ll finally notice Tuesday night that Ace can’t sing. I say women because I’m sure, barring his relatives and may be some close friends, guys don’t and won’t vote for Ace. And if these voters have a wee bit more sense, they’ll understand that this is a talent show where the focal point is vocal prowess of the contestants, not a parade of would-be/wanna-be actors/models. Plus karaoke doesn’t count as singing skill.

My apologies to my cousin ‘G’ (wink, wink) who just somehow happens to adore this guy but I just can’t stop hating everything about this guy. It’s like “how many ways I can hate thee, let me count the ways”. First of all, though he can’t sing, he has the audacity to think he can. He even has the nerves to think he’s doing a pretty good job of it on stage! Somebody ace that!

Ace: "Opps! I'm having a mental black-out... can't remember the lyrics...."

G: "Hey, did he just forget his lyrics?!"

Okay, back to Ace-bashing. You gotta give it to this guy for his self-confidence, which borders on the absurd most of the times. He thinks if he gives that blank, spaced out gaze into the camera (example: the close up of his eyes at the end of his Father Figure performance) and tries ‘reaching out’ to his audience (careful there, you might just end up pulling your muscles), votes will automatically start flooding in. He somehow feels that dopey look of his is ‘sexy’. And somehow a good number of women also seem to buy that, though I can’t, and don’t want to, understand how and why!

Then, many weeks later, he not only makes a mess of Train’s Drops of Jupiter but also lets the world get a glimpse of his ‘scar – the one he supposedly got while playing basketball’ while mouthing “Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star / One without a permanent scar”. I mean, how cheesy can one get! Gimmick sells and his also did because he sure did survive another week. How pathetic!

Then last week on the Queen Night, he makes the most obvious song choice and does a feeble attempt at rocking the AI stage with We Will Rock You. C’mon, this used to be ‘the’ rock anthem that rocked arenas! Still he miraculously survived during the elimination night.

The only part I like watching him is during the result nights when he’s, most often than not, a part of the bottom three. The dazed look on his face that seems to say “I can’t believe a hunk like me is being made to stand here! I can’t believe they didn’t vote enough for me!” Extremely amusing.



* Thanks to Travis from mrdaughtry.com for dedicatedly posting all Chris Daughtry related mp3s and videos on the fan site for views and downloads.

The Night of the Queen

Bucky Convinton, the message boards tell me, is out of American Idol Season 5. (NOTE: Out here, they don’t air American Idol live. So we have to wait a little while more to catch the show). No surprise there that dear ol’ Bucky was eliminated, but still it came as a surprise to me that he actually went before Brett ‘Ace’ Young! It’s a pity all the 'fat bottomed girls’ out there in the US of A didn’t vote for Bucky because I personally think that Ace’s rendition of We Will Rock You was the lamest of all April 12 night performances, followed by Bucky’s version of Fat Bottomed Girl.

And what the hell is wrong with Brett? First he goes on calling himself ‘Ace’ and he’s got more eye makeup than all the female contestants on stage. I have nothing against guys wearing makeup but things go a little awry for me when they got more makeup on than me! And Ace’s shiny highlighter did nothing to make me change my mind about his singing capabilities, or lack thereof.

Kellie ‘Suds in the Bucket’ Pickler sure did surprise me this week with Bohemian Rhapsody. When they said she was gonna sing that, I was like WHAT???!!! A tough song but – surprise, surprise – she pulled it off well. By the way, did someone pull a fast one on her by telling her it was gonna be a Goth Night or something? The makeup was (to borrow from Simon Cowell’s illustrious vocabulary) hideous, and so was the outfit. And so was Paris Bennett, appearance-wise that is. Yes, Paris, The Show Must Go On; we all know you sing damn well but could we please be spared your experiments with outrageous wigs and wardrobes?

Katharine ‘Broadway’ McPhee continues to amaze me week after week after week. So does Elliott Yamin (barring the country night performance in his case). Their renditions of Who Wants To Live Forever and Somebody To Love were awesome. That makes me wonder why Katharine was made to stand in the bottom three last week, and why, despite having so much potential, Elliott continues to be the underdog!

I have mixed feelings when it comes to Taylor Hicks – I can’t decide if he is entertaining or clownish... but then, clowns also do entertain! He got me kinda worried when he started something that vaguely resembled tap dance during the middle of Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I had my finger crossed, hoping he does not stumble, roll down the stairs and land right at the feet of Lord Simon.

And if you’re thinking I’ve gone out of my mind by not mentioning Chris Daughtry's performance, let me tell you – I was saving the best for the last. His rendition of Innuendo was mind-blowing, with even Queen (the band, not Queen Elizabeth) going on record saying that the guy has amazing vocals. I’m sure Freddie Mercury must be nodding in agreement. Oh, by the way, as they informed on the show, this song has never been performed live. That means Chris is the first. From here on, I stop yapping and let the experts say what they thought of Chris’ Queen Night performance.

Randy: “I was expecting big things from you tonight. Dude, you definitely did not disappoint, you delivered, baby!”
Then he goes on to howl “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” thrice, scaring everyone, including himself.

Paula: “The reason the band probably never performed it live was because they probably don’t want to and only you probably could.”
She then tells him what everyone has been telling him already over the message boards – that he supercedes even the band’s (who originally wrote and performed the song) performance.

Simon: "Chris, they don’t perform the song live because it’s not a very good song… "
Simon, being Simon, has to live up to his reputation of being a condescending, know-it-all prick. Though I've kinda started liking this Lord of the Jerks, I do hope he is paid a visit at night by Freddie (the one from the horror flick, not Mercury!) for his incessant bitching. He, however, admits that it was the “best vocal tonight, best believable vocal tonight”.

Rock on, Chris... You are the best!

Death on a Cold Saturday Night

He died on Saturday night, an hour short of midnight. A cold, painful death in that cold hospital bed on the eighth of April. Makes me shudder to think death can be such a lonely affair… for the one who’s dying. Nine years ago, on ninth April, my father had breathed his last in the same hospital. His younger brother chose the same month (and also almost the same date) to go into that deep sleep. And while mourning the newly dead, it appeared to me that almost everyone had forgotten that it was dad’s death anniversary the day before.

At the cemetery yesterday, I sat by his headstone and I could feel that the pain I had felt back then when I had just lost him renew all over again. But I guess that’s just the kind of price one has to pay for being a former prodigal child, a wild child who dares to go against the norms. And that’s a hell lot to pay.


A letter left on a father’s grave
Questions pile up like cold concrete,
building me a chamber of guilt.
Cold, vicious, unfeeling accusations
sting my cheeks, my life fluid drops
forming a maroon pool below.
Could have been,
would have been
had you been alive.
I should have, I could have
But isn’t it too late to speculate?

I try justifying things that went wrong;
my failures laugh at me.
I know I was brought up right,
but circumstances wanted an upper hand;
my life was twisted out of shape,
I digressed to the point of no return.
And they tell me the cold me
was the reason you left.
I know everything’s gone now
but I’m trying not to break.

This mark of prodigal child stamped on me
burns me like hellfire from within.
I regret saying those words,
may be I was out of my mind.
But regrets won’t undo the past;
no matter what I say now,
for me time won’t rewind.
And it is the thought -
that I failed you to the last -
I’ll take with me to the grave.

CHINK MAJOR

Chink, Chinkie or Chinky offensive slang > noun 1. Offensive terms for a person of Chinese descent. The term is thought to have come from a mispronunciation of the Chinese word Chung-Kuo, meaning China.
2. (In India) Any person bearing Mongoloid features, especially those from the North Eastern states.


I was going through a Linkin Park message board today on MySpace. There, some jerk had posted something to this effect: “Don’t let Chink Minor bully you (LP) guys” - an allusion obviously directed at Mike Shinoda, his American Japanese lineage and his side project Fort Minor. Reading that made me wonder if I need to enroll myself in an anger management class!

That said, those who have not yet watched Fort Minor’s ‘Where’d You Go’ video can catch it on yahoo. Here’s the link http://music.yahoo.com/ar-24143734-videos - Fort-Minor It’s a nice video starring real people sharing their real life stories. I know, I know, I’m doing some FM promotion here for Shinoda dear ;)

I guess that’s also my way of getting back at that stupid guy who posted that stupid message on the LP MySpace message board. Why? Because I hate the word ‘chink’. It’s damn offensive, and racist too. But this is one derogatory term people from North Eastern parts of India have to put up with every time they go to other parts of their ‘own’ country. This is not to say all ‘mainstream’ Indians view North Eastern people as ‘strange’ and aliens. But then morons are not in short supply here and stupidity always rears its ugly head. So, this is for all the people who look at ‘Chinks’ as strange / inferior / sex objects – screw you very much. Rot in hell, you moronic, xenophobic, racist pigs!


Yesterday, I bumped into this UNI report on how soccer star Bhaichung Bhutia (another 'Chink') was served an arrest warrant on 6 April after he failed to appear before the court to identify the thief of his luggage! This is frigging unbelievable! I’ll copy paste the news item here in its entirety:

Arrest warrant against Bhutia
April 07, 2006 12:36 IST

National soccer icon Baichung Bhutia on Thursday said it is humiliating to get arrested in order to get back the possession of his own luggage, lost in transit while returning from a tournament a couple of years back.
A district judge on Thursday issued an arrest warrant against Bhutia for failing to appear before the court to identify an alleged thief who stole his luggage in a train. Sadhan Mondal, first judicial magistrate of Howrah, directed the Salt Lake police to produce Bhutia on May 20.
"It’s really humiliating to get arrested for getting back my possession," Bhutia said in Kolkata on Thursday.
"I, however, do not have any official communication on it. I came to know about it from the media. What kind of system is this. I heard that the luggage had been recovered but might be lying with the police. A few weeks ago an officer came to me carrying the summon issues by the court," he added.
The national soccer captain had lost his luggage on Howrah-Chennai Coromandel Express on October 31, 2002, and a case was filed with the Shalimar GRP station.
"I regretted my inability to turn up on the given date owing to my professional commitment. The police officer asked me to confirm it in writing on the back of the summon letter. I did it. But at that point I did not know it was illegal and this is what I have to face," he said.
A person, Harekrishna Ghorui, was arrested on the charge of the theft and Bhutia had been summoned several times for identifying him and to depose in the matter. But as Bhutia had not appeared before the court, a warrant of arrest was issued against him on Thursday by the district court.
Bhutia said the luggage stolen had some important papers that belonged to his wife Madhuri and some other documents very dear to him.


Talk about justice! Shall we call it another ‘chink’ in the Indian judicial system?

An illustration says a thousand words

I'm in a kind of lazy mood, so I'm not going to do much writing here tonight. Let the picture say it all.

Click on it if you want a better view ;)

Yes, there are times when freedom seems to be just another farce...

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And Flappy, my man, this is for you: created in Illustrator. Let's say, it's my way of saying 'Thank You' for introducing me to this program, though in my own 'paagal' way!

HE CAME, HE SAW, HE CONKED OUT!

Remember the times?? LOL!

Go ahead, click on it ;) Just Do It [wink, wink]

The Sexiest Baldie In The World

Am I being hyperactive tonight? I think watching Chris Daughtry
perform on stage does that to me [wink, wink!]

Chris has got me hook, line and sinker since his rendition of
Fuel's Haemorrhage on the American Idol. This one sure can rock!
Whether or not he bags the title, Chris is a winner all the way.

This pic is for all Chris fans on blogger.com.

Rock on...

Just One Of Those Days

There are times when we all feel like losers. Loser moods, loser moments, loser days…
And this one was written a few ‘loser days’ back. I know it sucks but it’s my goddamn blog space, right? And Flappy, if you’re reading this, try reading it before you start your dance with Mary Jane ;)


BEAUTIFULLY WASTED
I’m sitting down here,
wondering why the world is passing me by;
let down by powers up high,
lost in this wilderness of lies.
Confusion reigns
and I ask myself -
Why try when failure’s staring me in the eye?
Isn’t it a beautiful waste of time?

Call me optimistic,
I’ve mastered the art of losing.
Call me a first-grade lunatic,
insanity can be fun sometimes.
Are you confused?
Am I not making sense?
Why try to understand the incomprehensible
when it’s such a beautiful waste of time.

When your heroes die and you wonder why,
it’s such a beautiful waste of time.
When your beliefs shake,
life’s foundations crumble,
it’s such a beautiful waste of time.
When you finally see shades of grey
in between black and white,
you realise it’s been a beautiful waste of time.

When you can’t breathe,
and still you keep trying to live.
When things refuse to go right
and living is an endless fight;
you’re a disappointment,
that’s what they tell you,
try living like you’ve never lived before
coz it’s such a beautiful waste of time.

The Second Coming

I admit I’ve been pretty regular about not regularly updating this blog. I could give you a million excuses – of how all the forces of nature got together and conspired against me, keeping me from updating this journal, of how life’s been a total bitch to me. But, like a fat singer once sang, I won’t do that. Because, no matter how good the excuse, it is still an excuse and, thus, a waste of time – both yours and mine.

But I’ll tell you where I’ve been for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been in a hospital, watching a life slowly fade away, bit by bit, breath by breath. I’ve been watching someone I know fight a losing battle against a disease that has no cure. I’ve been noticing with disbelief how little life means to those who are entrusted with the task of saving lives. I’ve been noticing with disgust how hospitals have now turned into parasites, the kind that suck you dry of your money and then caste you away to die. May be I’ll write about it here someday. May be I won’t. But for now I’ll leave you with something I wrote a couple of hours back:


ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE

An estranged couple speaks:
It’s funny how a four-letter word keeps this cycle spinning,
funny, how a hundred - in this game for two - keep you and me running.
Love shrouded by lies and this new age self-denial theory;
These wise men preach absurdity, the kind they don’t practice;
these hypocrites ask me of my life as a sacrifice in the name of propriety.
My head’s spinning but better sense tells me – stop fighting, it’s a lose-lose situation.
But what about you and me and this thing called life?
What about freewill, freedom and living?


An HIV+ expectant mother speaks:
A pro-life paperback on the community library shelf
encourages sharing of a little fluid between you and me.
They pass a moaning breath of death in the name of love and living.
The anti-death hate-mongers shout for the half-dead life that’s yet to be;
they are the judge and the jury who sentence the three of us to living hell
with an air of conscientiousness and a dab of deception.
But what about you and me and the tomb in my womb?
What about freewill, freedom and the unborn dead?


A victim of religious intolerance speaks:
Heaven’s rendered deaf by empty prayers of forceful conversion;
The Chosen One died for love; devoid of conviction, they kill for hate.
Heads roll in the holy land, blood of innocents fill the Holy Grail;
The angel of death rules over what was once a valley of life.
The tree of knowledge’s made hollow by the termites waging holy war,
The couple in the Garden’s poisoned by the deceiver’s venom.
But what about you and me and this thing called belief?
What about freewill, freedom and faith?



Love is shrouded everyday by the self-appointed Anti-Divorce Squads who make it their business to see to it that estranged couples are not allowed to exercise their personal freedom. Ditto for the Pro-Marriage Squads who try to play god and force unwilling partners to start a life together.
Love is shrouded by the two-faced Anti-Abortion Squads who’d rather see a HIV+ child born and suffer in the name of ‘right to life’ than let it slip into a peaceful, painless sleep.
Love is shrouded by those bigoted Anti-Freewill Squads who force their religious beliefs on others and rob us of our God-granted freewill.
Ironically, all in the name of love!