Parental Advisory: Explicit Content

First off, thanks to Sundancer for approving today’s headline. And now, this goes out to all those under 18 readers – cover your eyes with your hands, slightly part your fingers and peep through them to continue reading.

What image does the word ‘transvestite’ conjure up in your mind? As far as I'm concerned, till yesterday, the word always reminded me of that scene in Trainspotting where Begbie meets this dame in a [gay] pub and gets busy with her in a car. Seconds later, much to his annoyance, he realises that all this time he had been making out with a man!

Why am I bringing this up? Well, because I made a new acquaintance yesterday – someone I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget. Why? Because this person almost gave me a heart attack. And no, she’s not the transvestite.

I’m in a bank. This young woman walks right up to me and says ‘hi’.
I say hi.

She tells me we studied in the same school.
Oh really?

Now she’s in Bangalore.
Uh-huh.

She’s now married and has a kid.
Oh, that’s nice.

She then asks me if I’m still in touch with her younger sister.
Who? Do I know your sister?

After a lot of explaining on her part, realisation finally dawns upon me. I did know her sister – like five years back. The only problem was I thought her sister was a mister – at least that’s what her dear sister had told me. And in a drunken stupor at a party, I’d even locked lips with this Mister Sister who I thought was just a pretty boy! Goddamn transvestite! And a liar at that!

After that uncalled for enlightenment, I simply didn’t know how to react, initially at least. It was a real shocker, I have to admit. Then I got pissed, replayed the whole scene in my mind, felt cheated, got more pissed, thought of posting a big hate note to all transvestites in general, then decided not to make an ass of myself, so instead ended up bitching about some stupid American Idol contestants.

Twenty-four hours later, here am I – writing about this entire mess of an episode. The only difference now is I’m laughing about it – laughing at what had happened and laughing at myself for taking it all too seriously. Not that I condone that person’s lie but since I believe in trying out everything at least once before I kick the bucket, I think this has got to be one heck of an interesting experience for me. Plus, now I’ve an answer ready with me if anyone asks me ‘how does it feel to kiss a person of the same sex’.

And oh… I watched Trainspotting again this evening and almost split my sides watching Begbie’s post-realisation reaction. Still laughing my ass off thinking about it!