The Night of the Queen

Bucky Convinton, the message boards tell me, is out of American Idol Season 5. (NOTE: Out here, they don’t air American Idol live. So we have to wait a little while more to catch the show). No surprise there that dear ol’ Bucky was eliminated, but still it came as a surprise to me that he actually went before Brett ‘Ace’ Young! It’s a pity all the 'fat bottomed girls’ out there in the US of A didn’t vote for Bucky because I personally think that Ace’s rendition of We Will Rock You was the lamest of all April 12 night performances, followed by Bucky’s version of Fat Bottomed Girl.

And what the hell is wrong with Brett? First he goes on calling himself ‘Ace’ and he’s got more eye makeup than all the female contestants on stage. I have nothing against guys wearing makeup but things go a little awry for me when they got more makeup on than me! And Ace’s shiny highlighter did nothing to make me change my mind about his singing capabilities, or lack thereof.

Kellie ‘Suds in the Bucket’ Pickler sure did surprise me this week with Bohemian Rhapsody. When they said she was gonna sing that, I was like WHAT???!!! A tough song but – surprise, surprise – she pulled it off well. By the way, did someone pull a fast one on her by telling her it was gonna be a Goth Night or something? The makeup was (to borrow from Simon Cowell’s illustrious vocabulary) hideous, and so was the outfit. And so was Paris Bennett, appearance-wise that is. Yes, Paris, The Show Must Go On; we all know you sing damn well but could we please be spared your experiments with outrageous wigs and wardrobes?

Katharine ‘Broadway’ McPhee continues to amaze me week after week after week. So does Elliott Yamin (barring the country night performance in his case). Their renditions of Who Wants To Live Forever and Somebody To Love were awesome. That makes me wonder why Katharine was made to stand in the bottom three last week, and why, despite having so much potential, Elliott continues to be the underdog!

I have mixed feelings when it comes to Taylor Hicks – I can’t decide if he is entertaining or clownish... but then, clowns also do entertain! He got me kinda worried when he started something that vaguely resembled tap dance during the middle of Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I had my finger crossed, hoping he does not stumble, roll down the stairs and land right at the feet of Lord Simon.

And if you’re thinking I’ve gone out of my mind by not mentioning Chris Daughtry's performance, let me tell you – I was saving the best for the last. His rendition of Innuendo was mind-blowing, with even Queen (the band, not Queen Elizabeth) going on record saying that the guy has amazing vocals. I’m sure Freddie Mercury must be nodding in agreement. Oh, by the way, as they informed on the show, this song has never been performed live. That means Chris is the first. From here on, I stop yapping and let the experts say what they thought of Chris’ Queen Night performance.

Randy: “I was expecting big things from you tonight. Dude, you definitely did not disappoint, you delivered, baby!”
Then he goes on to howl “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” thrice, scaring everyone, including himself.

Paula: “The reason the band probably never performed it live was because they probably don’t want to and only you probably could.”
She then tells him what everyone has been telling him already over the message boards – that he supercedes even the band’s (who originally wrote and performed the song) performance.

Simon: "Chris, they don’t perform the song live because it’s not a very good song… "
Simon, being Simon, has to live up to his reputation of being a condescending, know-it-all prick. Though I've kinda started liking this Lord of the Jerks, I do hope he is paid a visit at night by Freddie (the one from the horror flick, not Mercury!) for his incessant bitching. He, however, admits that it was the “best vocal tonight, best believable vocal tonight”.

Rock on, Chris... You are the best!