Dial I for Idiot

You don’t need to visit Dialidol.com to get ‘predictions’ on who’ll be the next American Idol contestant to get the boot. There’s a much simpler way to figure that out. On performance nights, Idol contestants somehow tend to give the viewers a clue as to who will be going home the next day. Last week, Brett ‘Ace’ Young was dressed for his own funeral. And then he sang the symbolic That’s All to drive in the final nail in his coffin. This week, Kellie Pickler had a serious case of a really bad hair day. So no prizes for guessing who got the boot this time.

Fox finally played the official goodbye and good riddance song You Had A Bad [Hair?] Day for Kellie. And about time too! While she had simply bothered and bewildered us last week with her rendition of Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered, this week she mercilessly mutilated Unchained Melody; it was horrible even by her own standards.


Useless Trivia: Dialidol.com had predicted that either Kellie Pickler or Paris Bennett would be in the bottom three. They were in the bottom two. Argh…. Like anyone cares!

More Useless Trivia: Simon Cowell is neither to be trusted nor taken seriously. He had ‘predicted’ that Taylor, Chris and Kellie would be the Top 3 finalists. Now Kellie is gone [finally! Thank God for that!] Besides, it was also Simon who had advised Chris Daughtry to come out of his comfort zone and be more versatile. A week later, after taking Simon’s advice, Chris found himself in the Bottom Three - for the first time!

Even More Useless Trivia: How many blind men does it take to see a dumb blonde? Answer is one. Kellie Pickler is so dumb, even the blind operatic tenor Andrea Bocelli could figure out she’s a blonde!


My predictions for next week? As much as I like li'l Paris, I think she’ll be the next to go, though I wish it were Taylor Hicks. That spastic prick will stay around much longer, and continue climaxing on stage. His name should go into the Guinness Book of World Records as the only guy who sang himself to multiple orgasms on stage.