Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week 9 Elimination

Watching Dave Navarro act like a prick is a painful experience, an experience most of us reality TV junkies are unfortunately familiar with. Just when I thought I had exhausted myself of the reasons why I should hate this guy, he’s there on my TV screen acting like a total bitch that he is.

The show starts with everyone in a mood to kill some time. Happy little chit-chats. A safe and uncontroversial question and answer session. Cameras zoom in on Dave who asks Magni about the photo shoot [yeah that photo shoot where some stuck up, overrated and probably overpaid French photographer asks Magni to ‘scream without screaming’]. Magni says he hates photo shoots. Dave tells him it’s a part of the gig. Magni tells Dave not to interrupt him. Or at least that’s what I think the Icelander said. Sorry, but my mind was busy devising ways to torture Dave to near death. Then Dave calls Magni a SOB and “jokingly” warns him he can influence the vote. I see some long repressed anger itching to erupt here. Can’t we get a replacement and send Dave to a good therapist before he pulls a Paula Abdul here?

Wait! It’s not yet over. After Dave’s You-know-I’m-sort-of-a-boss-around-here thingie, it’s Dilana show again. For one more time [and I hope it’s the last this season], we are subjected to recaps of Dilana’s so-called “apology” to her “friends”. Somehow to me it sounds less of an apology and more of “believe it or not, I’m human – even if I don’t look like one – hence I screwed up; so live with it” speech. After last week’s bitch-fest, our moth has evolved into a butterfly. She’s now full of love and compassion for everyone [yes, even Lukas whom she wanted to strangle till very recently] and doesn’t want to see anyone leave because they’re like a family. How very touching! Somebody pass me the insulin, all that sweetness is making me diabetic.

So, tonight Lukas is all smiles because it’s his turn to perform with Supernova. Honestly, I couldn’t understand a single word, thanks to Likas’ trademark garbled enunciation. But I kinda liked that wail in the chorus; that saved the song. Though this is the strongest number Supernova has unveiled so far, it's still very very mediocre.

Starting last night, our rockers have started boldly going where no contestants had gone before. There must be something very interesting in those unlit back rows. Yesterday it was Magni. Tonight we saw Toby hanging out back there during his encore, forcing the production guys to switch on the lights around that otherwise dark area.

Time to finally open the dreaded envelope. Brooke Burke tells us that Lukas, Toby, Ryan, Storm and Dilana all made their way through the bottom three last night; everyone but Magni. By the way, how do they determine that? That’s one of the mysteries of Rockstar: Supernova vote counting system that I’d want to be unveiled. Finally, it’s Ryan, Storm and Dilana who hit the bottom three spot.

Ryan’s first with The Who’s Baba O'Riley. This is a pure gimmick-laden performance. Three seconds into the song and Ryan’s already popping open a champagne bottle, shaking it all over and then pouring it over Toby! May be he wants to go on a fishing trip to the Brokeback Mountain. Then he goes on pretending as if the mic cable were a lasso and he a rodeo cowboy. And then, he awkwardly climbs over the speakers, which looks more pathetic than cool, and jumps off it. I guess that’s called trying too hard. This performance truly, awfully sucked! It was sad to see such waste of his talent.

Storm’s up next with The Beatles’ Helter Skelter. Uh-oh, another one trying too hard. She’s on the judges’ side of the stage, half on Tommy Lee’s lap and half on Gilby Clark’s face, and Gilby’s pushing her away with all his might. Didn’t the Jill ‘grinding’ episode teach this girl anything? Another bad performance.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in the bottom three, Dilana! Seems like she pissed a lot of fans off by her backstabbing ways. So what does she sing to redeem herself? Talking Heads’ Psycho Killer. She begins with an acappella, which is not a whole lot impressive. It slightly gets better once the music gets going but not enough to sound good.

After three stinkin’ performances, Supernova does the most gentlemanly [or politically correct or commercially feasible] thing to do – they save the two damsels in distress and send Ryan home. Ryan returns the favour by telling the band they could have made 20 years of great music together but now that he has been axed from the show, he’ll go back to being a solo artist and see Supernova on the charts because that’s where he’s gonna be hanging out [Ryan’s words, not mine!].

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Nine

REALITY EPISODE
Shattered egos. Broken glasses. Bleeding foreheads. I don’t think Tommy Lee had this in mind when he asked the contestants last week to “start breaking things”. But that’s what we get to see in the reality episode of this week’s Rockstar: Supernova.

Last week, after getting booed by the Rockstar: Supernova nanny cum bitch Dave Navarro for dissing on other contestants to the media, Dilana totally loses it. In the mansion, she flips when she catches a camera capturing her woe-be-me moments with Lukas. In a matter of only a few seconds, she gets off the chair, gives a double middle finger salute to the camera, smashes a drinking glass by the pool-side, a shard from which flies and embeds itself on Magni’s shiny forehead, and storms off from the scene. On the basis of her appetite for destruction [literally or otherwise] and self-sabotage, she should land the gig. After all, aren’t rock stars supposed to act like that? All we now need is a clichéd drug bust to make her a card carrying member of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Shame.

PERFORMANCE SHOW
Okay, since when did this turn into a Dilana show? Was it really necessary to replay the Dilana drama at the beginning of the show? Can’t we just move on and get on with the show?

So, this week, the six rockers are doing songs that were featured earlier. Some brains at the studio thought it’d be a great idea to let fans pick up songs, already performed on the show, for their favourites. Jeez! I’m beginning to hate this show now. But the show will go on. And so shall my weekly recaps. Now let’s get on with this week’s performances, shall we?

Lukas Rossi – Lithium: Nirvana
I guess it must be his fans’ idea of getting Lukas a chance to get one up with Dilana by picking a song for him for which Dilana had earlier got an encore. The only problem was Lukas was not too keen on the song. And despite him being my favourite, I wasn’t very keen on hearing him do this song. But ol’ Chucky totally nailed it with his unusual arrangement of a Nirvana classic. Interesting piano-based arrangement! You have to give it to this guy for his flair for rearrangements and making the songs fit him. One thing I didn’t get was Lukas repeating the same verse twice. But the judges obviously didn’t notice that and gave him a standing ovation. By the way, it was interesting to see Jason Newstead jumping in his seat in approval during Lukas’ performance. Interesting because Jason is not the jumping type.

Magni Asgiersson – I Alone: Live
The Iceman’s got some smart fans. They picked a song which totally suits his vocals. He did a straight up cover and his vocals were on spot. Going into the audience, that’s a good move. Going to the judge’s stage, that’s lame. Good intensity. Overall, a great performance. I totally loved it. I hope he stays in the competition longer than most of the other guys.

Ryan Star – Clocks: Coldplay
Great on theatrics, not so great on vocals this week. Between throwing his piano bench away, jumping and sliding on the piano, there were a couple of pitch problems. The “Dark Horse” went a little flat and crackly in the falsetto. But, entertain he did – at the cost of his vocals suffering for it. It was one of the weaker performances of the night.

Storm Large – Bring Me To Life: Evanescence
Another fan song selection disaster, this! I like Storm but the last few weeks have certainly not gone in her favour and tonight’s performance [with backing vocals by Toby] did nothing to win her case. Let’s face it, though she’s got some good pipes, Storm isn’t Amy Lee. She did a pretty decent job but it just wasn’t the right song for her.

Toby Rand – Rebell Yell: Billy Idol
This is one of the few performances from Toby I’m gonna remember. After Lukas totally nailed the song on the first week [that performance still gives me the chills], I was wondering how Toby would fare. But the guy really pulled it off with a much truer cover of this Billy Idol tune. He hit the lower projections reasonably well but his transition into the refrain was great. And that pulling those girls up on the stage act undoubtedly earned him some major brownie points with the Supernova guys.

Dilana Robichaux – Mother, Mother: Tracy Bonham
After the tantrums and the meltdowns and all the bitchings in between, I’d thought watching her again would be a vomit-inducing experience for me but I was wrong. After weeks of going mellow, and hence boring, Dilana kicked ass tonight, furiously playing the guitar, her colourful dreadlocks flying all over the place. Interestingly, her trademark rasp was replaced with clear vocals this week. Range transition was awesome. Loved the scream too. Plus she got the best lighting of all. Only thing that pulled a dampener was her move of putting the guitar down gently. A great performance. But Dave calling it the best performance of both seasons? Retire that bitch already!

COMMERICAL BREAK!

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Eight Performances

Okay people, look for some major stuff – guitars, drums, heads, hearts, pinkies, whatever – to be broken in the upcoming weeks on the Rockstar: Supernova stage with the request to “break something” coming in right from that sanctified podium sitting the three-fourths of Supernova, plus one sycophant bitch. Oh no, the break something fest has started already with the angry bed-head tossing away his expensive guitar! Can’t we just do away with the clichés, please?

Seven contestants, two originals tunes this time. So, to make sure Supernova or Dave ‘Bitch’ Navarro doesn’t diss them for not going for the originals, everyone pretends to be really wanting to do an original. And so what we have here is a mock-fight with Magni the Iceman playing the referee, who pretty much single-handedly finds a solution to this strange situation. [Take a hike Supernova, Magni is now wanted by the UN to solve the Middle East problem.] Patrice gets the chance to do an original because, according to Magni, she has ‘earned’ the song by consistently landing up in the bottom three. Wow, great logic! And then, Magni, the super judge, once again saves the day by talking Storm out of getting into a fist fight with Ryan Star and handing the original music sheet to Ryan.

Toby and Dilana are two horny bastards. Give them an excuse and they are fighting to strip each other off their clothes and take in some voyeuristic pleasure. Yeah, when vocal pipes and writing abilities aren’t enough, it helps to show some skin. Or all of it.

And now, let’s get on with the performances.

Patrice Pike – Beautiful Thing: Original
She looked good tonight and it’s a good thing that she insisted on doing her own song because most probably it’s her last week on the show. The song was okay but far too poppy for the band. Plus, considering that she was doing her own song and yet sounding mediocre, that, I guess, is the sign of things to come tomorrow on the elimination night.

Magni Asgiersson – Smells Like Teen Spirit: Nirvana
Another Nirvana song! For Pete’s sake, what’s the deal with Supernova and Nirvana? Anyway, Magni goes for a straight up cover and totally nails it. Well, he can’t really bring that whine in the verse but hey, he’s not Kurt Cobain and this is definitely the best Nirvana performance on the Rockstar: Supernova stage so far. Great energy, great intensity, clever use of his vocal range, cool performance! It’s one of the two memorable performances of the night. Tommy suggests Magni should have broken something. Yeah, how about Dave’s neck? Even his lower jaw would do fine. Or maybe just a coupla teeth. Just suggesting.

Ryan Star – Back of Your Car: Original
Another Big O! Now don’t start getting ideas people, I’m taking about an original tune here. Great song – he starts if off hard and intense and does an amazing job. Like Magni, he has great energy and intensity! He even looks comfortable and less constipated tonight. I’m totally impressed, barring that ditching-your-guitar-scene, which Tommy had suggested just minutes ago to Magni. That made it look a little too staged.

Yesterday, Ryan had said the song was about making love while the world is ending. Reminded me of a movie called Dogma where one of the prophets, who’s born in this life as a total slacker and a pothead, makes a similar suggestion to the female lead when things start looking like the end of the world is just around the bend. Heh, heh! Anyway, the song sounded great. Hadn’t Dilana bitched to some reporter earlier about how Ryan had totally hated the Supernova song? We all can see now why. Why suck-up to a less than mediocre tune when you can write some great sounding ones yourself! 2 of 2 of tonight’s amazing performances. Can you say another encore?

Storm Large – Crying: Aerosmith
Why does this girl have to choose either tough songs or bad songs? And Crying is one tough song to score. Nonetheless, she does a decent job with a tough Steven Tyler tune, though, like Gilby said, it wasn’t memorable. On the stage performance front, I feel she’s slacking a bit. But she gave her best at the end of her performance when she called Dave a bitch and dared him to come to the stage and take that corset off her. I simply love the way this girl handles situations like these. Great attitude.

Dilana Robichaux – Every Breath You Take: The Police
Don’t mean to give anyone a coronary here but this is my least favourite Police tune. To be brutally honest, I don’t like the song at all. Seriously, I don’t understand why people play it as it were a love song. It’s a freakin’ creepy song for Chrissake! But if getting stalked is your idea of a great romance, then you’re welcome to this song and Dilana and her huge fake, pink, creepy eyelashes. Okay, get those ugly things off your face already; they’re too distracting. She sings the song well; it’s a good pop performance. But hello, Miss Mellow! You’re starting to bore me now with every song you do beginning to sound the same. Wonder why Supernova and their bitch don’t have any harsh words for her for not ‘changing it up from week to week’! Them bitches!

Toby Rand – Layla: Eric Clapton [originally by Derek & The Dominos]
What's with Ryan, Toby and the Hoodies? Ryan wore it the week before last only to take it off and reveal his horrible black eye makeup. This week, Toby wore it only to take not only the hoodie but the entire sweatshirt off. This place sure is full of wanna-be strippers: Dave, Tommy Lee, Toby, and the recent addition to the bare-naked club – Dilana. Good energy, good performance. But then, I’m not really a fan. The guy just doesn’t do it for me.

Lukas Rossi – All These Things That I've Done: The Killers
He’s my fav. But I don’t really care for the song and I found his performance tonight a little too quiet. It was not too bad, but it wasn’t really good either. And did he almost lose his voice in a couple of spots? Anyway, he was fun to watch, nevermind that ‘his-back-to-the-audience’ thing he did.

By the way, are these Supernova guys on crack or what? Last week, Lukas did a neat job and they dissed him. This week, it was an okay performance and they lauded him! But one can say Tommy really likes this guy by the way his eyes light up every time he watches Lukas perform. Something very gay is going on here.

PUNCH DRUNK HATE

The image above is dedicated to my local internet service provider for bringing my online life to a screeching halt for two whole miserable weeks [with a few hours of respite sometime last week!] Screw you very much for taking forever to restore my connection! You truly suck!

MONOLOGUES OF A DRAMA QUEEN ~ I

Thundershower and lightning brought the internet connection down on Friday, last week. I called up the local service provider more than a couple of times regarding this and more than a couple of times I was assured the problem would be fixed in less than a couple of hours. Yet, a big red cross over the network icon continued to remain a permanent fixture on my desktop system tray. So on Sunday afternoon, as I was thinking ‘consumer court’, a friend took a peek at my PC cabinet’s sexy behind and then, with a pretty massive grin, he told me – “Looks like your Lan card has eloped with thunder and lightning”.

So, I finally managed to get the problem at my end fixed yesterday only to realise there’s something still wrong at the service provider’s end. A good number of calls later, my net connection is finally restored, though the speed can still put a snail to shame. But the thing is, after an agonizing week of a lousy internet-less existence, even tiny doses have started looking good. Seriously people, a couple of more hours of this unbearable withdrawal and this turkey would have really gone cold!

Jeez! I can be such an online drama queen.

MONOLOGUES OF A DRAMA QUEEN ~ II

Yearning for a quick fix during my dark internet-less hours, I reacquainted myself with my old notebook and pencil. But the problem is when the three of us meet, the result is not always pleasant. Here’re some samples of the distasteful things we’ve been discussing after being left to our own devices:

IDLE WORSHIP
Lightning strikes, life pushed into a coma;
mangled wires mutilate my ethereal conversation.
As a dying screen flickers, life ebbing away, and
silence devours the last shrill cry of death,
cold sweat trickles down my spine; fear grips
as I grope around in darkness cursing God.
“What did I do to deserve this?” I scream at Him;
“Idle worship,” He chuckles amidst thunder.

SELF-DEFENCE
Covered in purple and blue, you hit at my shadow;
sprawled on the floor, your mouth froths at my reflection.
It’s easy to hate me for faults your own, bear the grudge;
It’s much too easy to kill than be killed, you lay the bait.

Delirious in the sweet smell of old brown Mary Jane,
Nirvana attained in the rotting cunt of a whore you hate.
Repressed feelings now shoot like semen
in a womb of nothingness, a life lost in digression…

… Tell me, do I bring out the worst in you?

SHADOWBOXING
Stifle those screams, your mind can be so distracting
Dodge your shadows, fear can be extremely crippling
Resist the urge, clip your wings, you’re afraid of heights
Run. Run from reality. Embrace. Embrace nothingness…

… Just like I did.

MY TWISTED LOVE AFFAIR
Complicate things if you must, if it makes you feel mysterious;
Let me deconstruct your myth to reconstruct my righteousness.
My anal obsession with removing all shades of grey
has ended up in me breaking you down to black and white.
Violated, angered and shamed, you pluck at my eyes;
Directionless and disoriented, I stumble and rip out your face.

MIND FILTH
Welcome to my filth
where I reign supreme
over chaos both you and I created
with mutual love and hate.
I levy no entry fee,
self-pity being the only requisite.

Welcome to my filth
where I’ll be the antiseptic
over your bleeding wrists, and
the hand to pass the razor again.
I’ll be the wound you can lick,
the pus you’ll suck dry.

Welcome to my filth
where I feign empathy
over your appetite for devouring pain.
Please feel free to soak in my filth;
your sickness feeds the system
and at my bowels you feed.

SWAP
The lurking tendrils of your nightmare
creep slowly into my sleepy day;
in our crumpled bed you twist and burn
as I send you the horrors of my waking hours.


DISCLAIMER: I leave poetry to the lyrically attuned for I have no pretensions of having the caliber, or even the emotional depth, to create something so beautiful. What you saw up there are simply thoughts – some mundane, some slightly sick – that find their way out of the recess of my mind once in a while for self-purgation.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Seven

WAS THAT THE FINAL EXPLOSION?
So Zayra’s finally out of the competition. I should be rejoicing now that my prayers have finally been answered but I’m not. After that vomit-inducing Clark-Jason-Tommy-Dilana performance last night on the elimination show, I now have more respect for Zayra than all of them combined. Zayra at least remained true to herself till the end.

Supernova’s first performance with Dilana last night was the cheesiest shit, I tell you! Not that I was taking this whole Supernova thing too seriously, but c’mon, I was expecting something slightly better from these veterans. And Dilana gyrating on stage with four leather-clad female dancers, WTF was that? Shame on you, Gilby Clark, for chastising Jill Gioia for ‘humping’ you and then gleefully being a part of a lesbian sex fantasy!

And Dave Navarro! When will that guy stop being such a suck up? Every time someone from Supernova gets on stage, he’s all ready to offer his ass. And when he told Dilana this week on performance night that her rendition of Harry Chaplin’s Cats In The Cradle gave him the chills, he made me wonder if the air conditioning was the real reason behind the ‘chills’. The performance was alright, but it was no where near great. The only time Dilana gave me the goosebumps was during her Lithium performance. So Dave, do anything, play with your nipple rings if you want, but just stop overrating people just because they have a huge fan following! And Dilana, you’re no longer my favourite even though it’s pretty obvious the gig’s already yours.

Currently on my top three list:
# 01. Lukas: Sang Hero by Nickelback and did a great job though Jason was not too impressed with Lukas’ clinching delivery. I liked what he did with the song though; with all that rawness and edge, he took the song away from the Chad Kroeger arena and made it his own.

# 02. Magni: I seriously do not understand how did this guy land in the bottom three? I admit I’m not a huge David Bowie fan but Magni did a great job on the performance night with Starman. And he totally blew me away with his intense performance of Radiohead’s Creep during the elimination show. Hate to admit it but he did a better job at giving the song soul, depth and emotion and showcasing his vocal prowess than Lukas did with the same song last week.

#03. Ryan: Mr. Intensity earned his second encore of the season for his stellar performance of Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight. He blasted it out, doing the song with a whole lot of passion. I’m beginning to like this guy.

The Remaining Performances:
Toby: Talk about commitment and Toby’s naked butt comes to mind! His running around the pool naked to land a gig with Gilby was hilarious. As for his performance, the guy did a decent job with Peter Gabriel’s Salisbury Hill. I liked the bongo part. Toby’s a nice guy but he clearly fades in comparison to Lukas and Magni.

Storm: A hung-over choice of a disco song ultimately resulted in Storm hitting an all time low on Rock Star stage. I still like the girl though. She’s not a fake. And I love the way this girl handles pressure.

Patrice: She has been a bottom three regular and her performance of Message in a Bottle gave her the ‘sting’ again this week. She has talent, no doubt about that, but… If she manages to land in the bottom three again next week, she’ll get the hatchet for sure.

Zayra: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I liked her idea of going down doing her own stuff. Even found myself liking her performance of her Spanish song.

That's it for this week. Stay tuned for next week's recap – that is if Supernova does not completely piss me off the show with another cheesy performance. In that case, this might be my last Supernova post.

And before I sign off, here're an animated Dilana avatar I'd made recently. I know there are quite a number of Dilana fans out there; so feel free to use it if you like it. Here's one of my favourite contestant Lukas' too, though I don't think any of my fellow bloggers like ol' Chucky. Ah, never mind!

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Six Elimination

Whew! Tonight was something. Two encores and two eliminations! Next week, there’re going to be four encores and four eliminations, with one of the hatchets falling on Tommy – the Hatchet Man himself. Twice he’s been on stage with the contestants and the next day those very contestants have ended up in the bottom three. Is that guy jinxed or what!

The first encore went to Lukas as I’d guessed yesterday. Okay, I’m sticking to making predictions only on the encore part. Yesterday he did great with Radiohead’s Creep, though he was a little too breathy and a little off key. Tonight, he did a better job, vocally that is, but was a little low on intensity. An impressive job nonetheless. Looks like a fiery haired rocker’s strategy has backfired.

When I first watched Magni do the Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction, I didn’t like him. His performances in the next couple of weeks did little to change that. But now I’m all about to bite my tongue. The more I watch him perform, the more I get the feeling this Iceman’s a worthy contender. Hell, he might even be the dark horse here. Last night it was just him and his guitar and Live’s Dolphin’s Cry. Tonight during the encore, he changed things up and did an electric version of the song. Good job!

After Brooke Burke finally opened the envelopes, in the bottom three were Jill, Josh and Ryan. Yes, Zayra saved again by her tight gold bodysuit and top hat for yet another week! I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’ve started finding Jill more irritating than Zayra. At least Zayra doesn’t take herself too seriously and stays true to herself, even if it means wearing the weirdest outfits and picking songs from the great unknown underground. Jill, on the other hand, lacks her own style and is on this strange impersonation trip. Granted she’s a great singer but she doesn’t have what it takes to be a star, let alone a rock star. Now on to the save-ass performances:

Jill Gioia – Respect: Aretha Franklin
Did she say she chose this song because rock and roll started with blues? Correct me if I’m wrong but Aretha Franklin is more up R&B alley. All that partying in the mansion has surely messed up this girl’s head. First, she makes herself a major pain in other female contestants’ collective asses on the “not playing with Gilby Clark” issue; then she gets confused on the genre of the song she’s performing on the elimination night! Well, she sang it well – the girl can sing – but the way she works the stage makes me think “A rock concert is not supposed to look like that!”

Josh Logan – Shooting Star: Bad Company
Seems like Josh knows he’s on borrowed time here and is determined to go down swinging. Though Tommy Lee thinks Josh’s landing in the bottom three is a direct result of Josh being “strapped in”, locked to his guitar, this soul guy still announces he’s playing the guitar tonight too, and he does. And then, he strips the song off anything that vaguely resembles ‘rock’. Self-sabotage? At least it goes to his credit that he did things on his own terms, well, most of the times.

Ryan Star – Enjoy the Silence: Depeche Mode
I love this song but when he said he’s gonna do that, I was wondering if it wasn’t a bit off for Supernova even if it’s right for his voice. But he did a good job and it was clearly the best performance of the three. What amazed me is that when a member of the audience almost pulled him off the stage, he didn’t miss a note! Now, I’m finally seeing this guy fitting the bill of a rock star. And may be Supernova is also thinking the same thing because they say he’s safe.

And then, without much drama, Tommy brings down the duel hatchet on Jill and Josh! Thankfully Jill doesn't throw a tantrum, which I feared she would. Josh shows he’s a cool guy with great attitude by making his exit laughing. As for the remaining eight contestants, they are off to Las Vegas with Supernova in a private jet for some major decadent times.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Six Performance

It was yet another interesting night at the rock and roll boot camp, with large doses of theatrics to boot. There were performances by Tommy Lee and Gilby Clark, Ryan Star revealed the reason behind his wearing dark glasses indoors and Toby showed there’s more to megaphones than just making public announcements. But the one overshadowing all the glitter and glam, including Lee & Clark, was Zayra with the tightest pair of gold, full-body leotard ever designed, tallest pair of platform heels, topped with an enormous top hat! Well, I told you it was an interesting night, didn’t I?

Okay, let’s start from the beginning. The show rolled with Rockstar nanny Dave Navarro tongue lashing the contestants for not killing each other for a chance to play with Gilby Clark. That guy is such a Supernova suck-up! But then, the guy has a point. If the prospect of playing with your future band scares you, you need to pack your bags and go back home. Now, let’s see how the remaining ten contestants fared this week.

Dilana Robichaux – Won't Get Fooled Again: The Who
Whoa! That was a nice intro from Gilby. Dilana did a good job with this classic as was expected of her, but something was still missing. The opening was a little too quiet, and then there was a little too much vibrato. It was good, no doubt about that; it’s just that I feel she could have done better. Gilby also added some weak backing vocals, following which the Supernova guys are now thinking of sending him home tomorrow night instead of Zayra.

But you have to give it to Dilana for effortlessly commanding the stage every time. This week, she had no theatrics to fall back on; no crazy stage antics. Even the look she had for this week was pretty clean with her hair back and makeup toned down. [Though the t-shirt and red leather pants she had on were hot!] Still she did not get lost on stage with Gilby there. That’s two thumbs up for her. And she’s now definitely a Supernova pet, since she jumped at the chance to perform with Gilby. Dilana was all smiles when Dave said that if he had his way, he’d give her the gig right now. Dilana, mission accomplished!

Jill Gioia – Mother, Mother: Tracy Bonham
It gets scary when would-be stars like to pretend they are someone else. And it gets scarier when they take this impersonation business a bit too far, which is just the case with Jill. First it was that Courtney Love act that almost got her thrown off the competition. This week, Jill looked like an aging version of Avril Lavigne with a bad case of too much hair extension! Watching her perform tonight was like watching a girl trying to rock the house, depending majorly on the power of her hair extensions. Too much hair-banging! Though Jason Newstead [or was it Tommy?] said it was her best performance yet, I found myself agreeing more with the part where Jason noted that her vocals were not quite there.

Ryan Star – Paint It Black: The Rolling Stones
Have you been noticing the pattern? They are now alternating between Stones and Nirvana songs. Last week – Nirvana, this week – Stones, next week – Nirvana again I guess. I first heard this song on that Tour of Duty TV series and absolutely loved it. Tonight Ryan gave the song a whole new meaning, literally, sporting horrible black eye makeup [obviously, he didn’t get the time to approach Lukas for a tip or two] and a hood with horse mane. When it came to upping the theatrics this week, Ryan was right up there. It was creepy, big time, but he sang okay. Though Dave thought that was the shit [and shit means good in their part of the world], I’m not so sure. Last week, it was sincere intensity. This week, it was out and out drama.

Storm Large – We Are the Champions: Queen
It requires steel balls to do a Freddy Mercury cover and Storm proved she has it. It was a good, toned down performance though not anywhere near great. Over the week, Storm has shown she can do a bit of everything, from rock to punk to just about anything. If there’s any female competition for Dilana, it’s Storm.

Zayra Alvarez – All The Young Dudes: David Bowie
Accompanied by Magni on guitar, Zayra razzle dazzled us with the universe’s tightest gold full-body tights, tallest pair of platform heels [how can you friggin’ walk in those things?!] and a huge top hat. This was definitely her least irritating performance. And this week she even sounded better than on her pervious performances, that is if you ignore her going off key and flat. Dave cracked me up when, commenting on her costume, he said if this were Rockstar: Planet Pluto, she would have had a landslide victory!

Josh Logan – Interstate Love Song: Stone Temple Pilots
One of my favourites [the song I mean] and Tommy’s on drums. Sweet! Even though he was surprised by Tommy’s decision to join him on the drums, Josh did a nice job, though I feel he should have gone a little lower on the pitch. And I seriously did not get his bobble head act. Trying to pick up from where Phil left?

Magni Asgiersson - The Dolphin’s Cry: Live
Though this song is labeled by many ‘hardcore’ rockers as the lamest rock song of all times, the Iceman picked this Live track [the bald-factor being the motivator I guess]. As his kid – wearing a massive pair of headphones – watched him, Magni shushed the crowd before launching into an acoustic version of the song. He stood there accompanied only by his guitar and still sounded great. Impressive!

Patrice Pike – Instant Karma: John Lennon
Though Supernova said they liked her performance, or rather her song choice, Patrice’s performance tonight didn’t work for me. To be honest, she disappears even while singing her heart out, and I’m not only talking about tonight’s performance. And that fixed smile of hers doesn’t do much to win her case. Her performance was not bad, it was okay. It’s just that she’s not rock star material. I think she’ll be back tomorrow to reclaim her spot in the bottom three.

Lukas Rossi – Creep: Radiohead
Ah, my favourites – Creep, Radiohead and Lukas. After last week’s disappointing performance, Lukas proved once again that he really does have what it takes by taking on this Thom Yorke number and showing an entirely different side of him. Though he was a bit too breathy and a little off key, he totally nailed it when it came to sweetening up the vocals. No growling and no mumbling through lyrics either. He took up the challenge and altered his technique, which is an amazing thing to do since it’s not easy to change your technique after years of singing that way. The performance was very fresh and very cool, winning Lukas some major praise from Supernova, with Tommy confessing he got goose bumps during his performance. At this point, the camera zoomed in on Dilana who was not much happy with Lukas stealing her thunder.

Toby Rand – Burning Down the House: Talking Heads
Pretty cool job by Toby. Things were going well till he decided to let a megaphone draped in Australian flag join him on stage and the world was suddenly divided into two groups – one that liked Toby with the megaphone and the one that didn’t. Personally, I kinda liked that stunt though it was a bit OTT. The vocals were great and he worked the crowd pretty well.

So my pick for the bottom three: Zayra, Jill and Patrice, though I’m not sure here since Zayra has a knack for not winding up in the bottom three. Ryan could also be in trouble for his ‘paint it black’ look. As for the encore, I’m guessing it’ll go to Lukas.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Revelations

Normally I don’t do Rockstar: Supernova reality episode recaps but this week it demands a mention. For this week, we witnessed the emergence of Dilana the strategist.

Flashback to last week: It’s a given that everyone at the Rockstar show have their lips ready to kiss Tommy Lee’s skinny ass at all times but when Dave Navarro [or was it Gilby Clark?] asked the contestants last week why they did not jump at the chance of performing with Tommy, it was not just plain ass-kissing. This was a pretty direct message to the contestants, a message that was surprisingly decoded only by Dilana.

Cut to Reality Episode Week 6: After Dilana finds the week’s songs and brings them to the dining room, she makes sure every camera is trained on her when she enquires if anyone was interested in performing The Who’s Won't Get Fooled Again with Gilby Clark. Interestingly, no one seems to be in a mood for engaging in any catfights or bar brawls over Gilby. So Dilana, without any opposition, gets the song, besides bagging major props from Supernova who obviously watched the video clips and gave her a mental thumbs-up. Then to make sure the point is driven home, she labels her competitors “what idiots!” Brilliant!

Another revelation: Ryan - the pissed bedhead is not as dumb as he would like us to believe. Just kidding. He’s in fact the only person in the mansion who sees through Dilana’s game. “This isn’t a house of brilliant strategists. This is a house of musicians,” he says. And my post-losing-my-religion newfound respect for him multiplies like rabbits.

Yet another revelation: During this week’s reality episode where each contestant was challenged to write lyrics and melody for a new Supernova track in less than 24 hours, Dilana showed us she isn’t exactly the best lyricist in the house, which was a big surprise! I know many Dilana fans here will skin me alive if I say this but I found her lyrics plain silly. I mean, seriously, she can do better than that!

More revelation: Lukas did an amazing job this week. It was crazy coming up with lyrics and melody in 15 minutes flat! Though he’s a bit of a mush mouth and mumbled his lyrics as usual while singing for Supernova, when they show the song writing footage where Lukas reads out his lyrics, you realise how good this guy actually is. His efforts went well with the band too, with Tommy saying Lukas “really gets it”. And what Chucky himself had this to say about his song? “It was dirty and sexy, like myself”. This guy is right up my alley.

Dilana makes her next move: Lukas’ song writing skills surely did not go unnoticed from Dilana’s discerning eyes. Sensing Lukas to be a serious threat to her, our wild-haired strategist makes another genius move. She convinces Lukas to sing Radiohead’s Creep which, she tells him, will show his vocal range. What she doesn’t tell him is that if he screws it up, it will prove that the Canadian can’t do much besides growling through the songs. In that case, Dilana wisely points out later, Lukas doesn’t deserve to be in the competition. Whoa! Sheer Brilliance! Don’t miss next week’s show where Dilana convinces Ryan to do Backstreet Boys number and Storm to do a Britney Spears.

Some more revelation: No one can beat Lukas when it comes to being a total pest. Oh, you already knew that? Watching Lukas pester Ryan who was already struggling with the lyrics/melody writing task at hand was priceless.

Even more revelation: Though he needs a lot of space and time writing songs, Ryan’s pretty good at it as was apparent from what he brought to the table. Impressive!

Observations & comments: Jill sucks – she overdid it again and the band definitely hated it. Storm is all about energy – she writes songs while working out on a treadmill. Zayra needs the great outdoors to get creative, though I’m not sure if she was working on her lyrics or her wardrobe of the week. Magni’s son is one brave kid – he didn’t even cringe when he saw Lukas. Toby, Lukas and Ryan are probably the worst basketball players in the world; the house band trounced them so bad! LOL!

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Five Elimination

All Hail The Mistress Of Weirdos

I think I’m done predicting Rockstar: Supernova. And I've accepted my fate that I'm doomed to watch that freak show from Puerto Rico for many more weeks to come. Fate, I surrender my bleeding eardrums, teary eyeballs and split sides to you. Zarya will continue methodically sodomizing [yes, she is a woman who’s capable of doing things very anal in nature] every song she can manage to get her hands on and a good number of porn addicted, pimple-faced teenage freak boys will keep on voting for her week after week after week. I really wish I could revoke the voting license of those morons voting to keep Zayra on the show but I know I can’t do squat. So I just give up. And to prove I mean what I say, I've posted Her Weirdness' pic here as a gesture of my complete surrender to the effect leopard-print leotards have on a certain part of male anatomy.

Going by what Lukas had done yesterday – or rather undone whatever he’d done till last week – he deserved a spot in the bottom three. At least the guy had the decency to admit he’d screwed up and deserved to stand before the firing line. But, apparently, ol’ Chucky here has a good fan base who obviously voted their asses off to keep him in the show. And frankly, I’m not complaining. I just hope he gets back to his usual cocky self next week and give us another mind-blowing performance. Man, I still get goose bumps every time I watch his Rebel Yell video. Is he losing some of his make-up too by the way?

I’d also said yesterday Jill will be in the bottom three. And she was. Turns out I’m not so bad at predictions after all, don’t you think? And who were the other two to find themselves in the BT? Dana [!!!] and Patrice. Oh, and by the way, Ryan Star lost his religion for an encore. One question – why is Ryan the bed-head always so pissed off?

Okay, let’s hurry this thing up a bit. Jill sang Alone by Heart and received a standing ovation from Supernova. This woman annoys me on performance nights. And then when she lands in the bottom three and has to sing to save her ass, she does something which makes me think “She doesn’t deserve to go, not yet at least”. Anyway, her 'kick the mic stand' move was oh so lame…

… and so was Dana’s new [and first] tattoo of a treble clef on her hip. I’ve never really been very comfortable with the idea of Dana bending over backwards to fit in. Tattoo today. Drugs tomorrow may be! Not that I’ve anything against tattoos; I’ve got a couple of ’em myself. Anyway, if she really wanted a tattoo, she could have gone for something slightly better looking than a boring single-colour treble clef. But the combat boots she had on were pretty cool…

… so was Patrice’s hairdo.

Now, back to the save-your-ass performance. Dana sang House of the Rising Sun by The Animals followed by Patrice doing Eternal Life by Jeff Buckley. After all three of them were done, it was evident Jill was safe. So who went home? Dana. Not because she did worse than Patrice but because, in Supernova’s own words, she still had a long way to go before she could front a band like theirs. So they thought it'd be a good idea for her to start walking right away.

The moral of the story: if you don’t fit in, don’t bother. Just do your own thing, like Zayra. That won’t help you win the gig but it sure will give you more reality TV shelf life.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Five Performances

It was another interesting week at the rock & roll boot camp in Supernova land. There were good performances, interesting performances, expected bad performances and some unexpected bad performances.

HOT PERFORMANCES
Dilana Robichaux – Can’t Get Enough: Bad Company
Performance-wise it was not as intense as her Lithium act but she rocked the house down. She walked past the audience, went right up to the judges’ box, sang to them, and then got on the shoulders of a guy in the audience who carried her back to the stage. And she didn’t even miss a beat! That was totally awesome! Vocally, great as usual, though it got a little bit heavy on the rock screech.

Josh Logan – Santeria: Sublime
This was Josh’s best yet. Though I’m not exactly a fan, I actually enjoyed watching him tonight. That makes it one of the rare occasions when I didn’t cringe watching him do his ‘soul man’ thing. And that just makes one thing clear – and it can't get any clearer than this – Josh is not right for this band. He should be doing his own stuff instead of trying to create a Josh-Nova hybrid.

Ryan Star – Losing My Religion: R.E.M
Okay, I’m impressed. This was something totally different, and unexpected. Unusual arrangement. Nice piano solo. Great vocals. Tonight he showed he can sing. He totally redeemed himself.

INTERESTING PERFORMANCES
Patrice Pike – Higher Ground: Stevie Wonder
With a faux Mohawk hairdo, she kicked off the show with Tommy Lee on drums, doing a RHCP version of the song. Though she seemed to be under a lot of pressure, acting all cranky and prompting Ryan to call her a bitch last night, she did pretty well tonight for a person who appeared to be a ticking human stress bomb. It was a decent performance – not great, not bad, just somewhere there in the middle. It was definitely one of her best performances but why do I get the feeling that she’s a little bit ‘fake’ in her performances!

Toby Rand – Pennyroyal Tea: Nirvana
Is there an unwritten law that says no week should pass by without a Nirvana or Rolling Stones song? I admit I swear by Nirvana but this is getting to be a little too much even for me! Can’t say I was really crazy about the arrangement, but then again I kinda liked it, if you know what I mean. He sang his butt off and made the song his own. Though Dave gave him grief about his crowd interaction act, I kinda liked his move of hugging that girl while singing “I’m on my time with everyone”.

Magni Asgeirsson – Clocks: Coldplay
It was a decent performance. Things were definitely quieter than usual on the Magni front, and his pitch was a little off, but it’s not too bad and I kinda liked it. And it was sad to see the man missing his family. Kudos to Supernova for that gesture.

Storm Large – Changes: David Bowie
Last week, it was all punk act with a stage dive to kick things up a notch. This week, it was classy. Excellent vocals, great stage presence. But still it wasn’t something I’d remember after a couple of weeks.

Dana Andrews – Baba O' Riley: The Who
A tough song but she did a good job tonight. It was a stripped down performance which totally worked. She’s getting better and better.

EXPECTED BAD PERFORMANCES
Zayra Alvarez – 867-5309 Jenny: Tommy Tutone
First off, I’d never heard this song before. And I’d never seen an outfit as weird as that before either. She truly does keep outdoing herself when it comes to coming off as totally nuts. Throughout her performance, I was laughing my butt off. And then I laughed some more when Dave Navarro asked for more time for his brain to process what he just saw and the band seconded that request! A place in the bottom three secured.

UNEXPECTED BAD PERFORMANCES
Jill Gioia – Don’t You [Forget About Me]: Simple Minds
This girl has started to annoy me, big time. Did she really have to pick up last week’s bump and grind from where she left it? I hated what she did to the song: too much scream and way too high key. I wish she’d rather concentrate on the song than posturing on stage. Dave summed up her performance perfectly: “It was that performance where people get up and go to the bathroom... or get a beer”. Another bottom three material.

Lukas Rossi – Celebrity Skin: Hole
This was tonight’s major disappoint for me. First off, it was a bad song choice. Hole? You got to be kidding me! He then spent a major part of his stage time with his back to the audience. A bad make-up day? His performance sucked and he looked a bit nervous. Vocally, he was not overly bad, but then again this was no where near his previous performances. I guess he’s earned himself a place in the bottom three. I’m heartbroken.

Timepass

Ever wondered what our new Superman Brandon Routh would look like if he'd acted in these flicks?

Shall We Dance


Hot Chick


Full Monty


Catwoman


Braveheart

Pics filched from littlecrazymonkey.com

Rockstar: Supernova ~ The Real Reason Behind Phil Ritchie's Elimination

Amazing what a crap load of useless trivia one can gather from a little bit of late night surfing. Last week, I was simply clueless why Supernova choose Zayra over Phil Ritchie but now I know. If you wanna know what I know, click here.

Anyone stupid enough to blabber off his mouth, saying his real intention behind participating in the show was to get some 'exposure' for his own band and that he was not a whole lot impressed with the sound of the band he was auditioning for deserves to get the boot.

My apologies to the Supernova guys for dissing their decision last week. I only wish the guys in the editing room had not cut off this portion of the show. And my salute to the person who uploaded the uncut video at youtube.com.