Ain’t that a bitch!
There are times when you are left with only two options.
Option A: Be polite; don’t tell the potty it’s full of shit.
Option B: Be straightforward. Head straight towards the cistern and flush the crap down the toilet.
So you’re telling me I should go for option B? Remind me not to recommend your name for my ‘phone a friend’ option in the next season of Kaun Banega Crorepati.
There’s a music album called Simply A Heart [WTF does that mean?] sitting pretty on my desk for the past couple of hours. I’m supposed to review it. The problem is it’s the shittiest music I’ve heard in a while. And I’ve already rechristened it Simply A Fart.
But can I go nit-picking and rip the album apart?
No.
Why?
Because:
[1] The album’s brought out jointly by two ‘local talents’, which means even if they suck big time, you’re not supposed to write they suck. We should encourage local talent, I’ve been told, not discourage them.
[2] Today the editor of the newspaper I work for received a mail from a reader. This reader, in his mail, had chastised yours truly for not focusing on ‘local talents’ and instead wasting ample space on Rock Star Supernova recaps [Yes, I was running sanitized versions of Supernova recaps there too].
[3] Found out half an hour ago that one of the ‘local talents’ featured in the album happens to be a relative of a relative of my brother’s one time neighbour. I’ve been advised not to be the snake in someone else’s garden of ignorant bliss.
[4] I’d sent the editor a text message about four hours ago stating the problem [“these locals are not even remotely talented”] and which option [‘A’ or ‘B’] was I supposed to utilise. I’m yet to get an answer.
But try as I might, I can’t bring myself to write nice things about something that doesn’t deserve praise. Hell, it doesn’t even merit a review and I have a good mind to play Frisbee with the damn CD! But review it I must. Ain’t that a bitch!
PPS. Just as I was about to hit the Publish button, I received a message from the Ed. ‘You can be tongue in cheek” it reads. Dear Ed doesn’t know what a big mistake she’s just made. [insert BIG EVIL GRIN here]
Option A: Be polite; don’t tell the potty it’s full of shit.
Option B: Be straightforward. Head straight towards the cistern and flush the crap down the toilet.
So you’re telling me I should go for option B? Remind me not to recommend your name for my ‘phone a friend’ option in the next season of Kaun Banega Crorepati.
There’s a music album called Simply A Heart [WTF does that mean?] sitting pretty on my desk for the past couple of hours. I’m supposed to review it. The problem is it’s the shittiest music I’ve heard in a while. And I’ve already rechristened it Simply A Fart.
But can I go nit-picking and rip the album apart?
No.
Why?
Because:
[1] The album’s brought out jointly by two ‘local talents’, which means even if they suck big time, you’re not supposed to write they suck. We should encourage local talent, I’ve been told, not discourage them.
[2] Today the editor of the newspaper I work for received a mail from a reader. This reader, in his mail, had chastised yours truly for not focusing on ‘local talents’ and instead wasting ample space on Rock Star Supernova recaps [Yes, I was running sanitized versions of Supernova recaps there too].
[3] Found out half an hour ago that one of the ‘local talents’ featured in the album happens to be a relative of a relative of my brother’s one time neighbour. I’ve been advised not to be the snake in someone else’s garden of ignorant bliss.
[4] I’d sent the editor a text message about four hours ago stating the problem [“these locals are not even remotely talented”] and which option [‘A’ or ‘B’] was I supposed to utilise. I’m yet to get an answer.
But try as I might, I can’t bring myself to write nice things about something that doesn’t deserve praise. Hell, it doesn’t even merit a review and I have a good mind to play Frisbee with the damn CD! But review it I must. Ain’t that a bitch!
PPS. Just as I was about to hit the Publish button, I received a message from the Ed. ‘You can be tongue in cheek” it reads. Dear Ed doesn’t know what a big mistake she’s just made. [insert BIG EVIL GRIN here]
posted by MockingBird at 10:48 PM
8 Comments:
You don't have to choose between two extremes. In between is what one calls "constructive criticism". If you know how to play with your words well, then you can even sound straightforward and at the same time polite too.
*illusionaire is happy on giving a gyaan that sounds really deep but is in fact pure crap* :-D
Haha. Yeah. Small town, everybody with a loud opinion.I can imagine your not very nice position. Please post an excerpt of your review. Will be definitely interesting to read.
Illusionaire – Thanks for the gyaan. I’ve tried doing exactly that though without much success. I mean I can’t for the life of me figure out what constructive criticism I can offer to singers who can’t sing! :(
Lip – You totally understand my pain ;) Small town blues… Guess I’ll post the excerpts after the paper comes out. Or better still, I can send you the PDF of our weekly if you send me your email address.
You sound like you’re from Gangtok. Are you?
Please do post the excerpt. And no, Im not from Gangtok, I'm from Aizawl. But I do have a lot of friends from your state, even went to a wedding there in march. We could only stay 2 days so we couldnt roam outside of Gangtok, but went to the lookout point 3 times and even went to the zoo! bet you haven't been there yet.hehe. You write divine. Keep blogging. cya
Baldy – I’ve been misconstrued! Dude, you trying to get me in trouble or what? Btw, someone has gone paranoid and vowed to check our blogs everyday from now onwards. LOL!
Lip – Lookout Point? *scratches head* I don’t think you’re talking about that now-abandoned spot at Nam Nang where junkies and potheads once used to hang out :p As for your trip to the zoological park, I bet you didn’t get to see anything there! The animals there are a bit too shy ;)
Will post the excerpts soon – after the paper comes out :)
hey is this the same "lip" at misual.com
by the way, mocking, muaaah. miss ya :-)
Bird, you actually have a "boss"? LOL
Somehow, you sound like the kind of person who'd do well without one! :D
Illusionaire – Muaaah to you too :)
Sundancer – Contrary to popular notion, I do have a ‘boss’, dear. The problem is that our team consists of an assortment of obnoxious employees – mostly the kind who’d do well without a boss and a regular 9-to-5 gig – who insist on bossing the boss around! ;)
[I hope the ed’s not reading this. LOL!]
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