Supernova? Maybe. Rockstar? Hah!

What is a supernova? Okay, I admit to having skipped most of my classes when I was in school, but this much I know: a supernova is the death explosion of a massive star; this explosion results in a sharp increase in its brightness, followed by a gradual fading. In with a bang and out with a whimper, huh!

Well, that’s how I felt as I watched the second performance episode of Rockstar: Supernova tonight. If I was impressed last week, this week I was like “What the hell is wrong with these people!” It was a complete waste of time… well almost. Average performances, lack of intensity, a total yawn-fest.

Magni from Iceland kicks off the show with The Who’s My Generation. Better performance than last week but I wouldn’t say it blew me away. Yawn… Next on is Jenny Galt whose rendition of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love is boring. Yawn…

Before I can close my mouth after yawning, something tiny in white scares me. Hell, it’s Jill Gioia, and I tell you people, the Corpse Bride never seemed so much sweeter before. Dressed in a babydoll wedding dress, complete with a handful of roses, li’l Jill takes on Hole’s Violet and my senses instantly feel violated. If only she could redeem her outrageous outfit with her singing but that was not to be. She screams her way through the song. Okay Jill, mission accomplished. You scared me. Now back to the coffin! Oh, and one more thing – never take your style hints from Courtney Love, and when you’re caught ripping off someone else’s style, try not to get into a scream-fest. It damages your credibility.

Zayra Alvarez. She does The Kinks’ You Really Got Me. Yes Zayra, you’ve really got me thinking. How the fuck did you get past the auditions and make it to the final 15 list! Baby, you sucked and are going home this week.

After making it to the bottom three last week – that is after he messed up Sting’s Roxanne, Chris attempts to woo the voters with Franz Ferdinand’s Take Me Out. Sure baby, the voters will take you out of the show… soon. After Zayra gets the boot, you’re next.

Five performances. Complete yawn-fest till now. Now that’s got me thinking, have they started a 'save the best for the last' policy? Next up is Dilana who’s taking on Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire. Let’s say it’s not as hot as last week, but still good. Honestly, I wasn’t so keen on it this time. Something is so not right tonight.

If I liked Josh’s rendition of that Counting Crows number last week, this week he left me squirming in my seat with his creepy rendition of Creed’s Arms Wide Open. If I liked him last week, this week I wanted to send him to American Idol. Case closed. Next!

Phil. Last week - Cult of Personality. This week - If You Could Only See by Tonic. Better than last week. But no stage presence. Total lack of personality. Next is Storm Large, the girl with a powerful voice and an extra powerful name. This week, it’s Cheap Trick’s Surrender for her. Though I didn’t exactly surrender to her vocal prowess, she did better than last week, but still not a whole lot better. Her name makes me think ‘Oh, she should join the X-Men or something’.

Why pick up a Nirvana song if you can’t really rock it? I want to ask that question to Patrice, yeah that girl who seems inseparable from her guitar. Her rendition of Heart Shaped Box was alright, just alright.

For me, tonight’s major letdown was Lukas Rossi and his rendition of Coldplay’s Don’t Panic. How the hell can I not panic when one of my favourite contestants just makes a bloody mess of the song when he could have easily done it so much better! Can we call it ‘The Curse of the Coldplay’? Matt. Yellow. Elimination. Get it?

Just because there’s a Star in your surname doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a rockstar. Ryan Star attempts Rolling Stones’ Jumping Jack Flash. A huge improvement compared to last week but still not good enough. Pretty dull, if you ask me.

She looks like young Drew Barrymore and she’s got a good voice. Dana takes on Steppenwolf's Born to be Wild and executes it well. But like Tommy Lee says, she’s born to be mild. I think she can never be dirty enough to front a band like Supernova. And for her own safety, I pray she doesn’t win the competition. I don’t trust aging rockers with pretty young things! Next thing we know, Dana’s suing rest of the band for sexual molestation.

The last on the line is Toby Rand from Down Under with Killer’s Somebody Told Me. This Aussie rocks. I’ll be keeping an eye on him. And oh, by the way, when I started writing this, it was still yesterday. But the date on my desktop calendar changed before I could finish wrapping up this piece. And I honestly don’t think I have enough energy left in me to change all the ‘tonight’s with ‘yesterday night’. So if you’ve actually bothered to read all this shit till here, please remember to make the changes yourself.

Peace.