SOS

I don’t exactly remember how I got myself into this. On second thoughts, I think I do. It was a phone call, and a few text messages, that changed my life.

Here was I on a sabbatical, living a hermit-like life, leading a lifestyle that would do Garfield proud, even envious, and suddenly now I’m in a Yahoo conference room with a couple of crazy people – the ones known as Flappy and KS[!] – who threaten to change all that. They say ‘we’ are going to build and host this cool website. And somehow I also happen to be in the team, or that’s what they tell me!

First they tell me, I’ll be handling the editor’s job. Then they tell me I gotta do the reporter’s job too. I wouldn’t be too surprised now if they told me I have to make them coffee, sweep the floor and take out trash too.

Well, after I took a vacation from the real world where the phrase ‘Monday mornings’ doesn’t just mean the morning of the second day of the week, I was sure that my days would start not earlier than 1 PM, that I’d redefine laziness and take ‘bumming around’ to newer heights. That, incidentally my friends, was a sweet but short-lived dream. And I was woken up from this dream, that too rather unceremoniously, by the beep of an incoming text message on my phone three days back.

Get online, it read.

After the preliminary Hi-s and What’s up-s, the three of us are in a conference room for our first threesome [*wink*]. Oh yeah, we are at it for long hours. Yesterday, the chat session lasted for seven hours straight. Among the three of us, KS is more serious and dedicated, about chatting that is, and is usually the first to get online. And he doesn’t even take pee breaks – or rather he is not allowed to. Sample this conversation:

KS: Brb. Nature calls
Flappy: No such calls. Stay put and hold it

As you can see, Flappy is quite the dictator.

But these long sessions are more chaos than brainstorming. In fact, we are about to give brainstorming a whole new definition soon. Our brainstorming sessions are less exchange of ideas and more violent raging of storms inside our brains that threaten to wipe out every single trace of grey cells left within.

One minute, we are deciding on a name for a particular section of a particular page and the next, the guys are on about whipped cream, handcuffs and furs. Another censored sample:

Flappy: Should we have a section on tips and tricks? For example, on better sexual performance…
KS: Shut up. You are in no position to contribute to that section
Flappy: How about ‘How to roll a joint blindfolded’?
KS: Yea, maybe that…
Flappy: C’mon boy, you can do it. You’re at the height of it.
KS: Height of what?
Flappy: Horniness
KS: Yea, well, I wrote Kamasutra-II
Flappy: Ha ha… [my name here] is working on III at the moment
KS: What III? Is that our editorial?
Flappy: LOL. Kamasutra-III!
KS: That! Man, I can write that along with diagrams
Me: I think we should rename our site ‘Horny’s Nest’
Flappy: LOL
KS: LOL

After three days of yahoo conferencing, brainstorming and many useless jokes later, I’m convinced I was flung into this madness by a higher power who wants to make me pay for my bad karma. Is it a coincidence then that the website address includes the word ‘karma’ in it!