A Riddle For You
Why do we always end up hurting the ones we love the most when we are hurting ourselves? We were discussing this last night/early today morning, my dear friend Flappy and I.
I guess one of the reasons could be our thirst for empathy. We want the other person to understand what we are going through at that particular point in time. Hell, personally, if it was up to me, I would probably opt to make the whole world wallow in self-pity along with me. But seriously, when I’m down in the dumps, despite my requests to be left alone, inwardly I’m craving to be the centre of someone's universe. I don’t know about you people but that’s how I feel sometimes; and this is what I want - someone to be there and listen to my rants or just participate in the silence. I know that’s asking a lot, but deep within don’t we all want to be emotionally pampered brats sometimes?
The idea of you hurting and your dear one being aloof somehow does not gel with most of us. On a more sub-conscious level, I guess we even want the person we love to actually feel the pain we are going through… may be just a fraction of the pain we are going through. Because then we don’t have to suffer alone, we don’t have to feel alone or alienated; we are somehow looking for that ‘we are in this together’ kind of a feeling, you know. Then we can perfectly understand one another; then empathy won’t be hard to come by. Misery loves company, huh?
But then, most often than not, things don’t work out that way. If it’s not our dear one trying to over-analyze our problems/feelings [trust me, I really hate that!], then it’s him/her actually tiring of our negativity and simply telling us to get a grip [ouch!].
Love, hate, selfishness, self-pity, a desire to be loved a little bit more… just a tiny bit more. These are the things that make us hurt. And hurt others in turn. Or may be I’m wrong. I don’t know. Tell me what you think.
I guess one of the reasons could be our thirst for empathy. We want the other person to understand what we are going through at that particular point in time. Hell, personally, if it was up to me, I would probably opt to make the whole world wallow in self-pity along with me. But seriously, when I’m down in the dumps, despite my requests to be left alone, inwardly I’m craving to be the centre of someone's universe. I don’t know about you people but that’s how I feel sometimes; and this is what I want - someone to be there and listen to my rants or just participate in the silence. I know that’s asking a lot, but deep within don’t we all want to be emotionally pampered brats sometimes?
The idea of you hurting and your dear one being aloof somehow does not gel with most of us. On a more sub-conscious level, I guess we even want the person we love to actually feel the pain we are going through… may be just a fraction of the pain we are going through. Because then we don’t have to suffer alone, we don’t have to feel alone or alienated; we are somehow looking for that ‘we are in this together’ kind of a feeling, you know. Then we can perfectly understand one another; then empathy won’t be hard to come by. Misery loves company, huh?
But then, most often than not, things don’t work out that way. If it’s not our dear one trying to over-analyze our problems/feelings [trust me, I really hate that!], then it’s him/her actually tiring of our negativity and simply telling us to get a grip [ouch!].
Love, hate, selfishness, self-pity, a desire to be loved a little bit more… just a tiny bit more. These are the things that make us hurt. And hurt others in turn. Or may be I’m wrong. I don’t know. Tell me what you think.
posted by MockingBird at 3:11 PM
6 Comments:
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Sorry - had to scrap that, too many typos!
I want, I want, I want, Me, me, Me....A friend of mine told me the other day that I suffer from the 'Me' Syndrome, and he was probably right. I will consider my life truly and wholly blessed only if I find that kind of assurance - that I REALLY am the centre of someone's universe.
That sounds shitty, but that's the truth.
true... true... true....
:)
virogochhas - guilty as charged
:D
I've just been hurt. At first I was angry. Rage consumed my soul and all my world fell apart. But now, as time slowly pass, I think she must be going thru a similar pain... But here I am, just lying in bed the whole day and getting more and more confused. She wanted to break up, and now we are no longer a couple. But she wants to continue being frens... is that possible? Most of the time I dont pick up her calls or reply to her sms anymore... coz it hurts just to hear her voice again. And the more I avoid her, the more I hurt her coz she's concerned about me and how I am taking this breakup. Yet, if i tell her I am alright it will hurt her no more, but the hurt I feel is too much that I cannot lie... dilemma...
@ Illusionaire :: It’s painful losing the one you love! And calls and SMSes certainly don’t make it any easier. I don’t claim to be an expert on relationships but from what I’ve experienced so far, it’s pretty much not possible to ‘be friends’ with her when you are still hurting. After a break-up, I usually try not to see/call/text the other person and hope the other person also doesn’t do the same, because everything is so raw during this time that contact in any form just grates on the wounds. Plus, it also tends to give either of the two some sort of false hope.
If I were you, I guess I’d be honest with her and tell her that I’m not exactly alright. That I’d need some time to get used to not being with her. And that, eventually, after time heals all wounds, you could be good friends :)
Take care.
my opinion on "right after DA break up situation"
if he/she can be frendz, immediately, dat means he/she was never in-love with you
if he/she cant be frend, immediately, dat means he/she is still in-love with you
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