The Mockingbird Sings

SAVE TEESTA

2007-06-29T13:23:00.000+05:30

The Government of Sikkim has sanctioned a total of 22 hydro power projects in Sikkim, including Dzongu in North Sikkim which is a Lepcha Reserve. This will have an immense negative impact in this ecologically fragile land. ACT or Affected Citizens of Teesta had launched their protest against these mega projects some years back. But, as can be expected, the government chose to turn a blind eye to their protests.

Recently, a small group of young people from ACT launched an indefinite hunger strike in the capital town of Gangtok to make the government rethink their decision. The hunger strike led by a young documentary film maker, Dawa Lepcha, is still on. Through these brave young people, the people of Sikkim have finally found their voice.

All visitors to this blog who wish to be a part of saving the Teesta, please visit Ani Sikkim Runcha [translation: And Sikkim Weeps] and participate in the debate. I don’t know who’s running this blog but whoever it is, that person is doing a damn good job.

Hats off to the protestors and the blog administrator!

GOING BANANAS OVER BANS?

2007-06-29T12:50:00.000+05:30

Just in case you were wondering the MockingBird had sung its last song, you're dead wrong. It's been a long hiatus, I agree. But that's bound to happen when one keeps putting off getting net connection and is also too lazy to go to internet cafes. That said, I am yet to get myself a net connection and I don't know when I'll do that. But for the time being, I'll just post this piece I'd written sometime last week [I guess] for a Gangtok-based publication whose launch has been postponed.

If Madhya Pradesh government had its way, it would have us believe condoms are meant only for birth control. No, sire, it’s not supposed to promote pleasure. For us ‘cultured’ Indians, sex is only about reproduction and adding to the country’s already bursting-at-the-seams population. Sexual pleasure is a deviation; it is a part of the ‘tainted Western culture’. Yes, of course, Kamasutra – that ancient Sanskrit guide to sensual pleasure and sensuous lovemaking – was actually written by a degenerate firang posing as an Indian.

That is exactly why the government in Madhya Pradesh is mulling a ban on Crezendo, a relatively new condom marketed by Hindustan Latex Limited. Had Crezendo been like any other regular condom, there would have been no political furore over a tiny piece of rubber. But this contraceptive comes equipped with a battery-operated rubber vibrating ring, which can be used with or without the condom.

The vibrating condom, priced at Rs. 125 per kit, has seriously shaken the sensibilities of our political leaders who are otherwise insensitive to issues that demand their attention. Yes, they are currently vibrated and lubricated enough to move out of their luxuriant VIP bungalows and into our humble bedrooms.

The Delhi edition of Times of India, dated 20 June, 2007, had quoted MP’s state minister for energy, roads and information technology, Kailash Vijayavargiya, as saying: “A product of this kind is a tainted portion of Western culture that we can do without. We are concerned with the availability and sale of a sex toy in the open market”. Would have it been okay if these ‘sex toys’ were being sold in the black market at three times its retail price, mantri ji?

This is just one example of our misplaced Indian sensibility and India’s fascination with banning anything and everything it finds ‘morally inappropriate’. This, at a time when India is home to world’s largest population of HIV positive people, a position that was till very recently reserved by Africa. By the end of 2005, India had 5.7 million people living with HIV. Most of these infections in India were caused by unprotected sex, studies indicate.

This should have alarmed the state governments enough to put aside their tendency to be politically correct, take a step down from their moral high ground and pitch in wholeheartedly to encourage safer sex practices among its citizens, irrespective of their age or gender. Instead, what it has been doing so far is going on a banning spree and outlawing anything it finds ‘objectionable’.

In November 2005, Bangalore colleges banned male and female students from sitting with each other. Taking ridiculousness to newer heights, in May this year, the states of Gujarat, Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh, Chhattisgarh and Karnataka banned sex education in schools to ‘preserve culture’! It would come as no surprise then if our morally superior authorities mull over closing down The Condom Bar in Chandigarh. This bar, inaugurated a few months back by an HIV Positive woman, serves not only alcoholic beverages but also free condoms to its patrons in a bid to promote safer sex practices.

As if banning sex education in schools was not enough, in June, two Mumbai schools banned boys and girls from making any physical contact with the opposite sex in the school premises. So, the students of these schools now stand to be penalised if they so much as give a high five or a birthday hug to their friends of the opposite sex, or shake hands for that matter! Are we being made to witness the making of a socially and sexually repressed generation here?

The enforcers of these laws are either ignorant of or indifferent to the fact that more and more young people are indulging in premarital sex and will continue to do so, without or without their moral sanction. Their argument that sex education can ‘irreparably harm’ the minds of the young is ludicrous. What can harm them irreparably – physically as well as psychologically – is hurtling into puberty with unhealthy attitude towards the opposite sex and half-baked ‘knowledge’ about sexual matters gained from their equally ill-informed peers and pornographic websites.

Surveys reveal that the average age of first sexual encounter among the Indian youth is dropping. In most cases, these young people are engaging in sex with little or no awareness about their bodies and misguided notions about sex. In such a scenario, not equipping these youngsters with correct information about unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and HIV and AIDS is not only irresponsible, it is criminal.

The youth of India has had enough of unsolicited moral advice and lengthy lectures on India’s enviable purer-than-pure culture. Those who have the power and the means to bring about a positive change – and this also includes organisations working towards HIV and AIDS prevention – should start emphasising more on action than on words. We need to shake things up if we really want to reach out to the country’s sexually active populace as well as those young adults most likely to have their first experiment with sex.

Stress should be on being more proactive. Existing norms have to be replaced by something that is more effective to the needs of our current times, even if it means being politically incorrect and ruffling a few feathers. This needs to be done, even if that means providing them sex education and distributing free condoms – with or without those vibrating rings.

Minutes to Midnight

2007-04-10T18:56:00.000+05:30

This is for all LP fans.

Linkin Park's upcoming album Minutes to Midnight will hit the stores 15 May. To view the new video for their first single "What I've Done" [directed by Mr. Hahn], click here.

What I've Done - L...

Attack of the Noise Terror Squad

2007-03-28T17:30:00.000+05:30

SILENCE!
Professor Dumbledore hollers to a roomful of young, unruly, freckle-faced future wizards.

Enjoy the Silence…
Exhorts Depeche Mode.

Silence… that elusive silence! Silence… my current quest for the Holy Grail. Silence… is it too much to ask for? I hate to bring myself to face this bitter truth but, yes, it is way too much to ask for.

With 99.9 per cent of the project I’m currently working on having been completed, I no longer need to go through Monday Morning Blues. I can work from home for a better part of the week -- a glorious arrangement envied deeply by Crazy P.

So, I decide to stay home on Monday and curl into bed with Sin City: A Dame To Kill For. But things don’t always go as planned and, like it or not, there are at least two spoilsports for one almost-fortunate person in this world.

So there I was, ready to take a stroll around Frankie’s Sin City when a sudden and confusing disagreeable sound ruins my plans for the day. It takes only a peek out of my bedroom window to realise that a group of extremely vocally challenged beings have united to unleash terror upon the world [or at least the part of Dilli I live in] under the pretext of singing bhajans. [Just a thought -- why is it that every time it’s only the ones who can’t sing insist on singing the loudest during such ceremonies?] Unsynchronised cymbals and drum beats add to the cacophony, threatening to blast my eardrums to kingdom come.

To drown out the noise, I turn on the music at full decibel. I don’t even bother to check which playlist is playing on winamp. I just need some sound to block out the noise outside. Any sound -- barring the one generated outside -- will do; I’m not in a position to be choosy. A few minutes of respite…

And then, the lights go out, followed promptly by that list playing on winamp. And the noise, the cymbals and drums come rushing into my head.

SILENCE!
My brain screams, a scream unheard by the most vocally challenged devotees. The baying continues, so does the unsynchronised clanging of cymbals and drum beats, infiltrating my space, violating my senses.

I lose my sanity for the next many hours, interrupted only for a few minutes by a phone call from the office. And during my hours of insanity, I volunteer to lend my help in ensuring the completion of a project -- anything to stay away from this madness.

After the devotees have [finally!] left, cymbals are packed and drums whisked away, some semblance to normalcy returns, and so does my sanity. It’s then I curse the noise terrorists for my just-around-the-corner Tuesday Morning Blues.

Comically Yours

2007-03-21T16:52:00.000+05:30

My life has become comical. That's probably why I made a couple of comic-book related slides today. And that's probably why I'm leaving one of them here.

Life in black and white… and gray

2007-02-05T17:47:00.000+05:30

In between black and white, there are shades of gray. And sticking out of my otherwise black headful of hair is my first gray hair. In case you’re planning to plant your tongue firmly in your cheek and say, “Oh! Really?”, please hold your horses. Though gray is one of my favourite colours, the gray that has just sprouted on my top storey somehow fails to elicit the same enthusiasm with which I usually greet anything wearable in gray.

This is certainly not the age to grow your first gray hair – or at least that’s how I look at this new, unwelcome development. I mean, my mom got her first gray when she was well past her 50s! Life certainly isn’t fair.

After discovering my first strand of gray hair, I looked at Crazy P for some sympathy, only to be further disappointed. I needed someone to lend his sympathetic ear and also his helping hand to pluck out that gray monstrosity. Instead what I get is a guy – who just had his dance with Mary Jane – laughing his belly off at my newfound misery.

So I continued my futile attempt at plucking out that scalp intruder. An attempt, like I said earlier, as futile as straightening Crazy P’s curly locks. So the only recourse left for me to take was to come upon a firm – and inconvenient – decision. From now onwards, I’ll colour my hair every month. Heck, if required, I’ll colour it every week.

Between his throaty laughs, Crazy P suggested I just let the gray hair be. Oh, I’ll wait till he gets his first gray; then I shall tell him “Honey, it’s no big deal; after all, it’s just gray hair” with a smug contented smile on my face. That, I shall do certainly. Yes, I shall… one day. One fine day. One fine, glorious – and very gray – day.

Until then, for me, it’ll be a case of careful parting of hair to cover that gray monstrosity. Colour my hair frequently? Nah! Too impractical and time-consuming. And have you noticed how gray hair turns an ugly shade of orange when coloured brown? Yuck! Anyway, I don’t think the next gray ‘hairling’ will freak me out the way the first one did. And after the third strand, I guess I’ll even get used to the idea of graying.

Let me grow a few more gray strands; then I can carry around this salt-and-pepper look… and wait for Crazy P to grow his first heartbreaker and see him freak out. More I think about this, more I like the idea. Revenge is sweet. Very gray and sweet.

Lock, curls and barrel

2007-01-29T13:09:00.000+05:30

There are some simple contraptions that scare the hell out of me. A simple example could be a mixer-grinder. It’s more the spinning blades than the apparatus itself that makes my heart want to break out of my ribcage.

I think it has something to do with the incident I had with the clothes dryer we had back home when I was a kid. It was one of those simple dryers, which, during those dark ages, needed to be bought separately from the washing machine. This story begins with one of my unfortunate trysts with the damned dryer. It was nothing more than a simple case of under-loading [that, folks, is the opposite of overloading] the machine, but, for me, something went horribly wrong. It was, what you’d call, a life-changing experience.

After I loaded – or under-loaded, if you please – the machine with my clothes, the bugger grumbled, roared, bumped around like some crazy ball, spun out of control and finally blew its top off – literally! Not only did the dryer’s lid came flying off, it also grazed against my skin, tearing away a good chunk of skin from my hand. Since then, I’ve never looked at a spinning apparatus [especially the ones operated by electricity] the same, simple, naïve, trusting way.

So, it was a few weeks back that a hair straighter somehow found its way to the pad I share with Crazy P. The little black thingy looked harmless enough but I chose to remain skeptical. Exhausted by my, what Crazy P would like to call, ‘unfounded fear of technology’, he tried the little meanie on his ‘just washed’ wet curly locks.

The locks were stubborn, just like their owner. After coming out of the mouth of the black monster, a.k.a. that black hair straighter, his hair was not exactly curly and not close to being straight. It was, like they say, something in between. So to make a believer out of me – and maybe also to convince himself that technology still works – he slapped on a good amount of hair gel on his curls – or what once used to be curls. [Okay, I admit, applying hair gel was my stupid idea.] The little black meanie opened its jaws like a hungry crocodile. As soon as it closed shut its jaws, out came a cry of help from his locks – SIZZLE! SIZZLE! SIZZLE! – as if someone was preparing sizzlers on top of his head.

I’m still not sure that incident turned me into a staunch supporter of technology but it sure did acquaint me with a new smell – that of roasted hair gel. And did his curls become straight? Let me tell you: I’m now of the opinion that it’ll be a whole lot easier to turn a gay man straight.

And yes, a mixer-grinder still scares the shit out of me. As for those stand-alone clothes dryer, thank God, they don’t make them any more.

Still alive… and kicking

2007-01-04T18:18:00.000+05:30

The last time this blog saw an update was back in The Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Six. Those were the ten glorious months of opting to stay away from any activity that [literally] paid – such as a full time job, or even a part-time one for that matter.

Those were the golden days of spending quality [and quantity] time with my computer; browsing through some interesting [and some not so interesting] blogs all day, and posting some interesting and some not so interesting blog entries [like this current one] all night [sleeping was something someone’s grandma did, not your truly!]

Life has changed – that too in two short months – after I packed my backpack and left home. Gone are the days. Those glorious days. Those gloriously lazy days of bumming around in the blogosphere. And in these two short months, I’ve made my acquaintance with something I always managed to ignore – or even taken for granted – certain activities, like, changing my linen, doing the laundry/ dishes, etc., [you get the picture] because there were always others around to do it for me.

I guess that’s a part of what you call being ‘responsible’, or being an adult. So far, I’d managed to remain a kid, minus the diapers. Now, it’s ‘hello reality, hello dirty diapers, hello cleaning detergent’. And most importantly, it’s ‘hell-o 9 to 5’. Again.

I think my folks back home would get a minor heart attack if they saw me now. In these two months, I’ve undertaken a crash course in household chores [don’t worry, mom, I haven’t yet learnt how to cook. By the way, does switching on the rice cooker count?].

I’m a dish jockey: Yes, now I dare to bear the chilly Delhi winter water to do the dishes because I really am not crazy about hiring weird looking bais, which means I don’t really have a choice but to roll up my sleeves and get down and dirty.

I got my chops: Hang on, people! I’m soon to get a PhD in chopping vegetables. I’m getting really good at it. Cross my heart. But chopping onions still makes my eyes teary and my nose red.

Laundry service: I’m even washing my clothes myself because I still do not earn enough to afford a decent washing machine and I don’t like the idea of EMIs. And I hate Shakira for falsely portraying doing laundry as sexy as belly dancing. Someone sue that bitch!

Bed shit: And, yes, I make the bed everyday… well almost everyday. And change the linen too [almost forgot to mention that!]

Back to the grind: And two weeks back, I even almost made it to the office on time. What idiot made the dastardly rule that office hours should begin at 9 frigging 30 AM!

Anyways, I’m still alive and kicking the dirty dishes. And, barring the early morning weird office hours, life’s not really that bad!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2006-10-26T22:51:00.000+05:30

CRAZY P: Graphic designer extraordinaire. Part-time guerilla farmer. Extremely paranoid about leaving his pix online. Guess I'm helping him get over it - one step at a time. That explains why I've not uploaded his photos in their original state. I think he's gonna kill me for posting even these unrecognisable pix of his!!

LOVELY J: Childhood friend [chaddi buddy] and the coolest person I've ever met. Intelligent, beautiful, and caring, she's a whole lotta fun to be with.

NOTORIOUS K: Met her in grade school. Since then, life with her has been a roller-coaster ride. Don't let her angelic looks fool you, she's terror-on-two-legs! You think big boys don't cry? Wait till you meet her!

MONOLOGUES

2006-10-25T21:16:00.000+05:30

HELLO
If you have time to spare, if you think you dare,
come here - my fears want to say hello to you.

KINDERGARTEN RESIDUES
Buried here in this junkyard
of new friends and old foes,
mongrels fight over my dry bones.
Ghosts wave from underneath the pebbles
as my eyeballs float with Goldie,
the goldfish – now dead and belly-up,
in my father’s new aquarium.
Pockmarked dolls in rabbit skin
visit me at night, their limbs torn
by my best friend’s yellow fangs.
My head is a fountain that won’t run dry,
there’s blood on my face
and a smear of childhood ashes
that just won’t wash away.

THE ARMY OF ME
Marching boots leave the dust hanging
mid-air in the jagged landscape of my mind,
this army of me I can’t contain;
Did you really think love was the cure
to silence these voices in my head?

My army, they march on, unstoppable,
trampling my head, crushing your heart;
under my skin they crawl, I’m their Valkyrie.
With a string of words I defeat love
and, with you, the voices die in my head.

SUFFRAGE [Suffer the Rage]
Those on the pedestal wield the scepter
to trample over infirm and bent backs
Anointed to do our thinking, our bidding
Injected with strength to muffle dissident voices
Powered by majority to gang rape our dreams
Quick and silent falls the popular axe
of the people, by the people, for the people,
silencing the rage of the suffering masses.

BLACK
Mind smeared black by bloated devil pens,
parasites grow fatter on our expense.
Our land made hollow by termites;
tongues glued to the roof, taxi cabs are our hearses.

Locked outside a members-only Shangrila,
backs bent in spastic submission,
faint voices obliterated;
living from cheque to cheque, dignity headed for the grave.

Son of Thekong Tek, born to be ruled upon,
a Palestinian in his own Israel.
Crushed under empty declarations
and bloating concrete rises; fallen, never to rise again.

YOU TURNED THE OTHER CHEEK
Yes, I hate the haters,
the oppressors, the dictators!
But more than them
I hate you, you spineless turd!

DEATH IN THE MORNING
Twisted metal gives us our wake up call,
warm blood rejuvenates our groggy souls;
mangled bodies in the gorge lie still,
as strangers huddle for a closer view.

Promises & Lies

2006-10-22T14:20:00.000+05:30

Just some idea I was fooling around with in the wee hours of the morning while half the world was sleeping soundly [I guess!]. I'm not through working on this one yet, hence the rough, 'incomplete' look. Anyway, I guess I'll let it hang around here a bit and get to know you people ;)

a late night conversation
one
two
three…
seconds tick away after you
stutter your innermost thoughts
and slip into unconsciousness
cocooned in your hemp heaven

four
five
six…
bleak hours tick away
ending this sleepless night
i turn off the lights and wonder
what the heck did you mean!

Do I really have to headline this?

2006-10-20T19:31:00.000+05:30

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF…

* You get a mean headache after getting drunk instead of getting a mean headache without getting drunk. After seven weeks of my non-alcoholic existence, I broke my resolve yesterday during a reunion with old friends. Watched some of my friends get plastered after two drinks [!!] as I waited in vain to get at least tipsy, if not high. I think God really hates me.

* Live bands doing the bar scene looked a little more ‘alive’. Playing every played-to-death clichéd rock classics while looking like you’re singing yourself a lullaby gives the likes of us an urge to throw that empty beer bottle at your sorry mug.

* 100 Mbps actually meant 100 Mbps. I’ve been waiting for that 200 MB file to download since the last five hours and to say I’m losing my cool would be putting it way too mildly!

* Google also had the good sense to incorporate ‘stealth mode’ in their email service. Logging into Gmail is like exposing yourself to every jerk on the planet that you’ve have had the misfortune of exchanging your Gmail IDs with. At the moment, I don’t think there’s anything I hate more than Gmail’s green ‘online’ indicator.

* People cared to explain why they’ve decided to screw our happiness, just like in the movies [or comic books] where the bad guy, while beating the crap out of the good guy, explains why he is beating the crap out of him. Getting screwed twice in a week over the same shit – though without knowing why you were getting screwed in the first place – certainly does suck big time!

* One could NOT feel guilty while cribbing on one’s own blog, wondering if one was boring visitors to their blog to tears. If one did not have to repeatedly remind one’s retarded-self that it’s your stupid damned blog and nobody really gives a shit what you post - or don’t post - in it and there’s no way in hell you’re getting a Pulitzer for blogging!

My Current Obsession

2006-10-07T13:10:00.000+05:30

FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY

Comic Politicos Make Me LMFAO!

2006-10-06T09:01:00.000+05:30

Who knew comic book heroes would one day come swinging out of comic books and take on the role of muse too! And in this case, muse to a senior politician no less! Ah, the stress of coming up with bombastic things to say speech after speech after speech! The poor fellow must surely had run out of ideas that particular day. So what does he do? Turn to our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man’s long departed guardian – Uncle Ben!

A big function at a renowned school in the state capital. The audience comprising mostly of young, impressionable but restless minds. So the politician decides to make it short [three page-long speech is extremely short in our part of the world where, if given a chance, our politicians can go on and on like Duracell bunny] and sweet and relevant and announces “With Great Power also comes Great Responsibility”. The line somehow doesn’t gel too well with the rest of the speech. And he attributes the quote to ‘a Hollywood blockbuster’.

Does the dude even know the quote comes right off a Spider-Man comic book? The irony here is that the name ‘Spider-Man’ has an entirely different connotation in these parts. There are not many comic book readers here and when you say Spider-Man, the first image that will come to many minds here is not that of a vigilante superhero but of an infamous ‘wall-scaling thief turned cold-blooded murderer’ who’s currently serving time in the state jail.

Suffice to say here that with great power to make high-sounding speeches also comes the great responsibility of doing proper homework.

Dude, you’re standing on my nerve!

2006-10-06T08:54:00.000+05:30

My list of people/things I can’t stand just keeps getting longer and longer.

PEST #1: A guy I know has this knack for getting on that special nerve of mine every time I come face to face with him. Makes me want to punch the living daylights out of him and then cut him into tiny pieces and feed ’em to the dogs. Generally, I’m quite an easygoing person but when people decide to stretch the definition of ‘freeloading’ a little too far for my comfort, that’s the part where I seriously loose my cool.

Home is the place where I expect some privacy, some me-time. When a person barges into my room, unannounced, more than twice in a single frigging day, wondering if he could use my computer/ check his emails/ chat online or borrow some books/ DVDs, I find that awfully annoying. And when that person repeats the same routine for an entire frigging week, I’d say this pest is really really pushing his luck a bit too far.

If I suddenly stop updating my blog, pray for me. I think I might be implicated for manslaughter any day now.

PEST #2: I’m not a tightwad; really I’m not! And I don’t mind loaning cash to buddies when they’re skint. Hell, I might even flash a fake smile while handing them my hard-earned cash when I know fully well that I’ll never be getting that cash back. That’s just one of the many downsides of having friends I guess ;) But when I find out my cash is being used to sustain someone else’s drug habit, I see red. Need cash to do drugs? Earn your own fucking money, dude! You ain’t getting none from me! Period.

PEST #3: People who don’t call, don’t mail, pull a vanishing act and suddenly return to the face of the earth expecting friends to be nice and understanding to them whenever ‘they’ are in need! Who do they think we are, the prodigal son’s old pop? Pretty similar to Pest #2, the only difference being this kind mooch off on an emotional level. Why don’t they just crawl back to whatever stone they were hiding under all these years!

PEST #4: I find know-it-alls who can’t keep their trap shut extremely annoying. Especially when they pretend to understand things they don’t know a shit about, try to put in their two cent on every subject being discussed, and – this is important – expect us to listen to their bullshit! Just recently, I had the misfortune of making the acquaintance of an incredibly annoying lady who suffers from incessant verbal diarrhea. Her latest observation on music – Papa Roach sounds like Iron Maiden! WTF! Somebody, pass me that duct tape.

Okay, that was therapeutic!

Read My Lips: No More Reviews

2006-09-29T08:55:00.001+05:30

Some commended me for my patience and marveled at my high endurance levels. Others, like Baldy, found it hilarious that I’d actually sat down and listened to this bitch of an album – and actually reviewed it! I’d whined about this earlier in this blog, even wondering sometimes if this was the ed’s sadistic idea of having a good laugh at my expense! My first instinct was to savagely rip the album apart, but then better sense prevailed...

Now that the damage [to my eardrums] has been done, I thought why suffer alone when I can post the review here had share this agony with a few visitors to this blog ;) Just kidding! I’m just keeping a promise I’d made to Lip. I hope he comes back to read this.

REVIEW
We heard them sing at the recent Pang Lhabsol festival in Gangtok. Yes, we also took note of that catchy ‘eeya eeya eeyo, o yea o’ refrain of the song which had the revelers dancing to Lhamu and Rebecca’s tunes. Now, we bring you the lowdown on the two songbirds’ latest album Manai Ta Ho - Simply A Heart. The album attempts to do a bit of everything: opening with traditional, folksy tunes, the album progresses towards more contemporary sounds, with upbeat, up-tempo songs occasionally interjecting these tracks.

The album opens with the title track Manai Ta Ho, an I-can-survive-without-you themed song written and composed by Rajen Ghimirey, followed by Samla, an interesting, nicely paced flute-driven folksy duet between Rebecca and Rajen Ghimirey. Another interesting folk tune worth a listen is Kaichimarey Pharia where an excited would-be bride sings praises about her knight in daura surwal and the dream trousseau she wants to wear when she accompanies her beau to his village. Written and composed by Noel Lepcha, it is one of the few songs from the album that stands out.

In fact, Manai Ta Ho boasts of a host of renowned artists and musicians collaborating to put this album together, from veterans like Rajan Ghimirey to the young and rock ‘n’ rolling Abhaya Subba of ‘Ahbaya and the Steam Injuns’. Despite this, the album fails to rise above the mediocre.

Two songs that could have been hit among the lovers of contemporary Nepali music are Katai Kahin and Chunauti Paila if only the vocals had gone where the songs require them to. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Katai Kahin demands much more than Rebecca’s vocals can deliver and all attempts to pull a Hema Sardesai here falls flat. Chunauti Paila is an interesting song - with a dash of bluesy rock - about overcoming obstacles. Though Abhaya’s arrangement sets it apart from other tracks, what puts a dampener to the song is the lack of punch in Lhamu’s vocals, something that this particular song strongly demands.

Another song that should not have made it through the final cut is Party Girls, a Nepali-English bilingual disco track about partying hard - Asha Bhonsle ishtyle - with some weak rap bit thrown in for good measure. Though this is definitely intended to be a dance floor scorcher, we can’t think of any local DJs who’d want to play this one. This song is another example that dance numbers don’t require much coherent lyrics and even arm-farts accompanied by an upbeat tune can do the trick. Hitting the skip button recommended on this one.

The plus point for this album is its lack of those overtly lovelorn songs. Though the theme of ‘having loved and lost’ appears more than a couple of times, it’s handled more positively, with the protagonist choosing to move on instead of dwelling in the bitter past. Ritu Naya is one such up-tempo track with a catchy ‘eeya eeya eeyo, o yea o’ chorus and a little bit of rap. This track, we believe, will be honoured with a repeated play this dassain.

Rating: 2/5

Ain’t that a bitch!

2006-09-21T22:48:00.000+05:30

There are times when you are left with only two options.
Option A: Be polite; don’t tell the potty it’s full of shit.
Option B: Be straightforward. Head straight towards the cistern and flush the crap down the toilet.

So you’re telling me I should go for option B? Remind me not to recommend your name for my ‘phone a friend’ option in the next season of Kaun Banega Crorepati.

There’s a music album called Simply A Heart [WTF does that mean?] sitting pretty on my desk for the past couple of hours. I’m supposed to review it. The problem is it’s the shittiest music I’ve heard in a while. And I’ve already rechristened it Simply A Fart.

But can I go nit-picking and rip the album apart?
No.

Why?
Because:
[1] The album’s brought out jointly by two ‘local talents’, which means even if they suck big time, you’re not supposed to write they suck. We should encourage local talent, I’ve been told, not discourage them.

[2] Today the editor of the newspaper I work for received a mail from a reader. This reader, in his mail, had chastised yours truly for not focusing on ‘local talents’ and instead wasting ample space on Rock Star Supernova recaps [Yes, I was running sanitized versions of Supernova recaps there too].

[3] Found out half an hour ago that one of the ‘local talents’ featured in the album happens to be a relative of a relative of my brother’s one time neighbour. I’ve been advised not to be the snake in someone else’s garden of ignorant bliss.

[4] I’d sent the editor a text message about four hours ago stating the problem [“these locals are not even remotely talented”] and which option [‘A’ or ‘B’] was I supposed to utilise. I’m yet to get an answer.

But try as I might, I can’t bring myself to write nice things about something that doesn’t deserve praise. Hell, it doesn’t even merit a review and I have a good mind to play Frisbee with the damn CD! But review it I must. Ain’t that a bitch!

PS. Don’t mind me people, I’m just giving vent to my frustration.
PPS. Just as I was about to hit the Publish button, I received a message from the Ed. ‘You can be tongue in cheek” it reads. Dear Ed doesn’t know what a big mistake she’s just made. [insert BIG EVIL GRIN here]

Kurt Still Rox!

2006-09-18T07:52:00.000+05:30

STAY AWAY

Monkey see, monkey do
I don't know why I'd rather be dead than cool
Every line ends in rhyme
Less is more, love is blind
Stay away
Give an inch, take a smile
Fashion shits, fashion style
Throw it out and keep it in
Have to have poison skin
Stay away
God is gay

- Stay Away, Nirvana [Nevermind]

Rock Star: Supernova Finale

2006-09-16T07:25:00.000+05:30

Woo-hoo! My boy Lukas Rossi won the Supernova gig and I’m doing a victory dance around the TV set. So underneath all those tattoos, long hair and layers of wrinkles, those three geezers still have some sense left in them to pick up the most creative contestant to infuse some much needed freshness in their music. I hope Lukas gets to have some creative inputs in Supernova’s new album because whatever songs they’ve unveiled so far, I wouldn’t even bother Limewiring them for free. Now, on to the week’s performances and the grand finale recap.

The performance night on the final week was more or less forgettable with Brooke Burke subjecting us to a recap of the final four’s journey towards the top, right from the season’s opening. Yawn. Then we are once again reminded by Brooke and the Supernova boys that a few tour dates are already sold out; I guess creating a sense of urgency will work wonders for ticket sales.

Ryan Star - the king of all things gimmicky - suddenly materialises on stage. The fans voted him for a final encore, we’re told. He plays his original Back of My Car. First time I heard it, I thought it was good. Second time it sounded okay. Third time was an overkill. Zzzz... Anyway, post encore, he plugs his new album in the works, Dark Horse [you’ll have to remember Dave Navarro had dubbed him Ryan ‘dark horse’ Star during the show earlier], and wins a Honda CRV and a Verizon Wireless LG Chocolate cell phone for being the fan’s choice for the final encore. He’s happy and he’s standing on top of that new car. I’d be much happier if he were under the tyres of that Honda. Now get off that stage! Patrice should really have been there singing Radiohead’s My Iron Lung. Now that was an encore-worthy performance!

Blue-eyed Aussie boy Toby finally kick starts thing with Karma Police. But it’s mediocre vocals at best. But hey, did Dave just say that’s the best Radiohead song? Somebody please whack that dummy on the head or gag him with those fishnet stockings he wears on his mitts!

Toby then has Magni join him on guitars on his original Throw It Away. What? Do we really have to listen to the same originals again? I found this song catchy the first few times but now I’ve started finding it painful. Same old arrangement. Same old cheerleader act. I’m bored. And enough with EVS already; writing it on back of Magni’s head was a step too far down the gimmick lane.

Any doubts I had about the Canadian Goth doll Lukas were cleared on the penultimate show as he took on Coldplay’s Fix You and showcased a voice that can be just as sweet as it can be gravelly when he lets it. Then he took a risk of turning the tune into a rock anthem. Unlike Toby, he neither plays to a crowd nor resorts to gimmicks like Ryan but this Toronto boy sure is fun to watch, his rooster strut and all.

While other contestants are content with playing their originals the way they were first composed, Lukas changes things up and performs a stripped down, acoustic version of his Headspin, which, in my humble opinion, sounded better than last time. Oh, I love this guy! Look, there’s Paula Abdul in the audience! Just back from her therapist’s couch and on her way to the bar, methinks.

Up next is Dilana with The Police’s Roxanne, a song that had Chris Pierson - Dilana’s one time bosom buddy - ousted from the show earlier in the season. She opens with an acappella and her voice sounds good without all that grizzle. She even has her remaining three competitors join her to sing backup. Nice move but then again at one point, Lukas’ backup vocals clearly cut through hers. Hah! Nice cover performance overall.

Before doing her original Supersoul [oh, I hate that title], she makes sure to explain it’s a ‘freedom song’, not an angry song. Don’t know about you but I’ve a problem buying that. For me that line “I could have killed you in your sleep” definitely sounds angry. Oh, she’s explaining it’s about letting go of the bad and moving on. Okay, now I get it. If you’re pissed with your spouse, kill him/her. Instant freedom from ol’ grouchy! But I’m still not impressed with her original.

Magni’s the last to hit the stage with Deep Purple’s Hush. He does a good job but still it’s not my favourite performance from the Iceman. But then, with his original When the Time Comes, the Icelandic madman revs things up, but that is after he - quite out of breath after his first song - momentarily forgets the title of his own song! Now his original is a rock song, and it’s actually becoming more appealing to me as time goes on, nevermind Tommy Lee ripping the song as ‘unmemorable’. For him, the only thing worth remembering is his days as Mr. Pamela Anderson.

The next day on the two-hour long finale show, after another yawn-inducing recap of the season, Magni is the first to land in the bottom three, followed by Toby and Lukas. Magni scorches the stage with Jimi Hendrix’s Fire, Toby [who looks the most nervous of all] continues his cheerleader act with Billy Idol’s White Wedding, and Lukas promises Supernova he’ll reacquaint them with a Bittersweet Symphony. Magni’s the first to get the axe. After another round of performances by the remaining three, Toby gets the boot.

Now it’s down to Dilana and Lukas. After endless numbers of commercial breaks and Brooke Burke’s fake smiles, Tommy Lee gets up and says “Lukas, you are our boy!” A quick scan of the audience and you get to see stunned faces of all the girls boarding the Rand Wagon. I’m stunned too but in a good way. Meanwhile, Rossi Posse goes wild.

I had predicted last week it’d be a Toby versus Lukas contest, with Toby eventually winning the gig; this, despite even my mom telling me the gig was up for grabs for Lukas. Well, to repeat an old cliché, mom knows best and I happily eat my words. The best man has won!

Somebody asked me why I think Lukas won. Well, first of all, Lukas had been a Tommy Lee favourite right from day one and Mr. T Lee never really bothered to hide his love for the Canadian Goth doll. Remember the time when Jason criticised Lukas, Tommy told him to shut up! And one has to keep in mind this is a Tommy Lee Project. Writing music is another area where the Canadian set himself apart from rest of the contestants. Lukas is a risk taker, thrives on taking on challenges head-on, and has a natural flair for rearranging songs, even classics, which went in his favour most of the times. Another plus point for him is his undeniable stage presence. Come to think of it, among all contestants, Dilana and Lukas were the only performers who could command attention on stage without resorting to any gimmicks. And he already has a dark and dirty image that Tommy Lee and the rest of the gang would want to be associated with.

I’m glad that Lukas won but I still hate Supernova tracks. I’ll buy his CD after he’s through with those three and comes out with his own stuff. Happy Vegas trip in the meantime.

P.S. Late update courtesy mood swings of the Power Department and my local internet service provider

BIRTHDAY BUMPS!!

2006-09-09T11:31:00.000+05:30

Happy Birthday, KS Punk Azz!

i-karma? Who the fuck is Karma??

About time you put to some good use your web designing skills

and get that site up and running!

Cheers! Hick!

Rock Star: Supernova ~ Week 10

2006-09-08T12:30:00.001+05:30

It’s just a week to go until Supernova picks their vocalist and Jason Newstead finds this a convenient time to finally get in touch his feminine side – with a little help from Storm Large on the results show. But he’s certainly disappointed with what he’s found, disappointed enough to cry in full view of the audience. Jeez! Can’t we have a drama-free week sometimes? But more of that later.

REALITY EPISODE
This week’s reality episode starts with another unhealthy dose of Dilana’s self-pity crap. She whines she hit a blank during last week’s result show and screwed up the song. Lukas says, “You’re only human, y’know?” Then she does what she does best – point at others’ fault to rise above them. She tells Lukas he did it on Celebrity Skin earlier in the season. Aww... Jeez! Let’s point out the difference in these two situations to poor Dilana here, shall we? In Lukas’ case, he had picked a song he didn’t know off the board whereas for Dilana, she had consciously made the song choice to redeem herself.

Cut to the song selection clip. This week the contestants are required to do a set, comprising of a cover and an original. Dilana again gets into an argument with Lukas over Behind Blue Eyes. Lukas says he wants to do it because it’s a cool song. Dilana wants it because “it is so fitting with what is going on in her life right now”. here we go again! Magni, the super judge, comes to Dilana’s rescue; he triple dares Lukas to do Bon Jovi’s Livin’ On A Prayer. Being the kind of guy who thrives on challenges, Lukas takes up the dare. Dilana then tells the house band she’s familiar only with the Limp Bizkit version and not the original The Who tune! Oh, for Pete’s sake!

The remaining five contestants then have a song writing clinic where they get to write lyrics for a new supernova track. Gilby Clark likes Storm’s work, is disappointed with Magni’s lyrics, thinks Lukas’ song is lyrically great and melodically excellent but is irritated he didn’t complete it, says Toby had the complete song, and is disappointed with Dilana’s clichéd lyrics.

PERFORMANCE NIGHT & RESULT SHOW
On the performance night, we see each contestant performing a set – a cover and an original. First to hop around the stage is Dilana with The Who’s Behind Blue Eyes and her torn calf muscle. They tell us she tore that muscle during the practice, making us wonder what the hell was she practicing with the house band!

She sings The Who tune without her gritty growl on for one whole verse! Can you believe that? But just as I start thinking the girl can actually bring out that soft sexy voice, it’s already time for the return of the growl. But her original Supersoul – a song with a me-against-the-world theme – breaks all records of cheesiness. It’s a ‘screw you’ song to the internet voters, she says. I would like to think she meant people on the internet who have been criticizing her and not her voters. Methinks she needs a Shut Your Trap clinic more than a song writing clinic. Besides, is it really necessary to have a 'super' in your song title just because you're auditioning for a band called Supernova?

On the results show, we see that the voters have return the favour by not voting for her. So there she is in the bottom three, singing a punked out Cheap Trick’s I Want You To Want Me. Decent job but all that hopping around the stage is seriously grating on my nerves now. Can’t she just sit on that stool or something and sing instead of hopping around pathetically like a three-legged pup!

Next on is the Icelandic madman Magni with The Beatles’ Back in the USSR and his original When the Time Comes, which he says he translated from Icelandic. I think he did a better job on the original than the cover. His song’s solid, with a consistent rock beat and tone. Tommy Lee asks him why he sounded the same in both songs. Magni replies because both the songs were sung by him. Oh, I love this guy. But that wiseass mouth of his is not going to win him any points with Supernova.

Or maybe I’m wrong because the next day on the results show, the Iceman is picked by Supernova to perform their new song, which is about love! And this is the part where I go get myself something to munch. I can still hear the song from the kitchen but again am not a whole lot impressed with Supernova.

Storm’s rendition of David Bowie’s Suffragette City, though not vocally dynamic, is entertaining. She is joined on stage by Dave Navarro and they work some good chemistry. The only problem is Storm looks manlier than Dave in her black outfit and fedora. She then introduces her original as What The What Is Ladylike as against her original What The Fuck Is Ladylike title. Nice arrangement, catchy chorus, strong vocals and good stage presence but it’s still not good enough for the voters.

So she’s also in the bottom three the next day, singing Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here. She says it’s for her mom, sheds a tear, starts off the song a little too softly but pushes it up a couple of notches soon and does a pretty neat job overall. Meanwhile, Jason too sheds some tears, showing the world what a wimp he is. Or is it just something in his eye?

Trust Lukas to completely rearrange classics. Taking on Magni’s dare, Lukas is on stage with just a guitar and a couple of spotlights on him and the keyboard player in the background. Though many would disagree, personally I find this stripped down version of Livin’ On A Prayer the best performance of the night artistically. If only he would stop gargling his words.

Next on is Headspin, a song about his love-hate relationship with his mother written during his days as the frontman for Rise Electric, which again is not the best among his Rise Electric or Cleavage originals. Besides, aren’t we all tired of rockers dedicating songs to their mothers? So the next day, he’s in the bottom three for the first time, stubbornly singing Headspin again. Why do I find stubborn people appealing? Is it because I’m stubborn myself?

Toby’s the last contestant to hit the stage with The Killers’ Mr. Brightside. The performance is not a whole lot impressive but the Aussie revs things up next with his original tune Throw It Away and steals the show. Though the anti-drug lyrics are not right up Tommy Lee alley, it’s the catchy chorus that does the trick. Toby’s literally all over the place, running amok, working the crowd, and getting a certain Mr. T Lee to get up and grope his butt in the process.

The next day, he gets the encore and with an oh-oh-oh-oh wins the keys of a shiny black Honda Element. Maybe that was a payoff to Toby to withdraw his sexual harassment claim against Tommy! But that was one classy move on his part to give his love to fellow Aussie Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, killed recently during a marine accident.

Among the three standing on stage, Supernova tells Lukas he can go and sit with his friends. Jason then addresses Storm and Dilana as “Comrades of Rock”. Oh Jeez! This week, Tommy is tired as he’s just back from a Motley Crue/Aerosmith concert so he passes the ‘Tommyhawk’ to Jason who in turn lands the axe on Storm.

Then starts a long speech by Dave Navarro and the Supernova boys. Dave tells her he could have chosen to rock on stage with anyone but he chose her. Then everyone gushes about how they’d love to be her backing band. Hey, wait! Didn’t these morons just axe her from the show? Aww… this is so retarded. The only saving grace here at this point is Storm who thanks everyone and goes out gracefully. Without crying.

Week 11 will see Supernova pick their new vocalist from among the final four. Who will it be? Methinks it’s going to be a Toby Vs. Lukas thing. Will they choose to go with a modern, Goth-rock sound [Lukas] or stick to their fun, old school, hard rock style [Toby]? Though I think Lukas is the most creative among the remaining four, I’m putting my bets on Toby.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week 9 Elimination

2006-08-31T23:15:00.000+05:30

Watching Dave Navarro act like a prick is a painful experience, an experience most of us reality TV junkies are unfortunately familiar with. Just when I thought I had exhausted myself of the reasons why I should hate this guy, he’s there on my TV screen acting like a total bitch that he is.

The show starts with everyone in a mood to kill some time. Happy little chit-chats. A safe and uncontroversial question and answer session. Cameras zoom in on Dave who asks Magni about the photo shoot [yeah that photo shoot where some stuck up, overrated and probably overpaid French photographer asks Magni to ‘scream without screaming’]. Magni says he hates photo shoots. Dave tells him it’s a part of the gig. Magni tells Dave not to interrupt him. Or at least that’s what I think the Icelander said. Sorry, but my mind was busy devising ways to torture Dave to near death. Then Dave calls Magni a SOB and “jokingly” warns him he can influence the vote. I see some long repressed anger itching to erupt here. Can’t we get a replacement and send Dave to a good therapist before he pulls a Paula Abdul here?

Wait! It’s not yet over. After Dave’s You-know-I’m-sort-of-a-boss-around-here thingie, it’s Dilana show again. For one more time [and I hope it’s the last this season], we are subjected to recaps of Dilana’s so-called “apology” to her “friends”. Somehow to me it sounds less of an apology and more of “believe it or not, I’m human – even if I don’t look like one – hence I screwed up; so live with it” speech. After last week’s bitch-fest, our moth has evolved into a butterfly. She’s now full of love and compassion for everyone [yes, even Lukas whom she wanted to strangle till very recently] and doesn’t want to see anyone leave because they’re like a family. How very touching! Somebody pass me the insulin, all that sweetness is making me diabetic.

So, tonight Lukas is all smiles because it’s his turn to perform with Supernova. Honestly, I couldn’t understand a single word, thanks to Likas’ trademark garbled enunciation. But I kinda liked that wail in the chorus; that saved the song. Though this is the strongest number Supernova has unveiled so far, it's still very very mediocre.

Starting last night, our rockers have started boldly going where no contestants had gone before. There must be something very interesting in those unlit back rows. Yesterday it was Magni. Tonight we saw Toby hanging out back there during his encore, forcing the production guys to switch on the lights around that otherwise dark area.

Time to finally open the dreaded envelope. Brooke Burke tells us that Lukas, Toby, Ryan, Storm and Dilana all made their way through the bottom three last night; everyone but Magni. By the way, how do they determine that? That’s one of the mysteries of Rockstar: Supernova vote counting system that I’d want to be unveiled. Finally, it’s Ryan, Storm and Dilana who hit the bottom three spot.

Ryan’s first with The Who’s Baba O'Riley. This is a pure gimmick-laden performance. Three seconds into the song and Ryan’s already popping open a champagne bottle, shaking it all over and then pouring it over Toby! May be he wants to go on a fishing trip to the Brokeback Mountain. Then he goes on pretending as if the mic cable were a lasso and he a rodeo cowboy. And then, he awkwardly climbs over the speakers, which looks more pathetic than cool, and jumps off it. I guess that’s called trying too hard. This performance truly, awfully sucked! It was sad to see such waste of his talent.

Storm’s up next with The Beatles’ Helter Skelter. Uh-oh, another one trying too hard. She’s on the judges’ side of the stage, half on Tommy Lee’s lap and half on Gilby Clark’s face, and Gilby’s pushing her away with all his might. Didn’t the Jill ‘grinding’ episode teach this girl anything? Another bad performance.

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in the bottom three, Dilana! Seems like she pissed a lot of fans off by her backstabbing ways. So what does she sing to redeem herself? Talking Heads’ Psycho Killer. She begins with an acappella, which is not a whole lot impressive. It slightly gets better once the music gets going but not enough to sound good.

After three stinkin’ performances, Supernova does the most gentlemanly [or politically correct or commercially feasible] thing to do – they save the two damsels in distress and send Ryan home. Ryan returns the favour by telling the band they could have made 20 years of great music together but now that he has been axed from the show, he’ll go back to being a solo artist and see Supernova on the charts because that’s where he’s gonna be hanging out [Ryan’s words, not mine!].

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Nine

2006-08-30T22:55:00.001+05:30

REALITY EPISODE
Shattered egos. Broken glasses. Bleeding foreheads. I don’t think Tommy Lee had this in mind when he asked the contestants last week to “start breaking things”. But that’s what we get to see in the reality episode of this week’s Rockstar: Supernova.

Last week, after getting booed by the Rockstar: Supernova nanny cum bitch Dave Navarro for dissing on other contestants to the media, Dilana totally loses it. In the mansion, she flips when she catches a camera capturing her woe-be-me moments with Lukas. In a matter of only a few seconds, she gets off the chair, gives a double middle finger salute to the camera, smashes a drinking glass by the pool-side, a shard from which flies and embeds itself on Magni’s shiny forehead, and storms off from the scene. On the basis of her appetite for destruction [literally or otherwise] and self-sabotage, she should land the gig. After all, aren’t rock stars supposed to act like that? All we now need is a clichéd drug bust to make her a card carrying member of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Shame.

PERFORMANCE SHOW
Okay, since when did this turn into a Dilana show? Was it really necessary to replay the Dilana drama at the beginning of the show? Can’t we just move on and get on with the show?

So, this week, the six rockers are doing songs that were featured earlier. Some brains at the studio thought it’d be a great idea to let fans pick up songs, already performed on the show, for their favourites. Jeez! I’m beginning to hate this show now. But the show will go on. And so shall my weekly recaps. Now let’s get on with this week’s performances, shall we?

Lukas Rossi – Lithium: Nirvana
I guess it must be his fans’ idea of getting Lukas a chance to get one up with Dilana by picking a song for him for which Dilana had earlier got an encore. The only problem was Lukas was not too keen on the song. And despite him being my favourite, I wasn’t very keen on hearing him do this song. But ol’ Chucky totally nailed it with his unusual arrangement of a Nirvana classic. Interesting piano-based arrangement! You have to give it to this guy for his flair for rearrangements and making the songs fit him. One thing I didn’t get was Lukas repeating the same verse twice. But the judges obviously didn’t notice that and gave him a standing ovation. By the way, it was interesting to see Jason Newstead jumping in his seat in approval during Lukas’ performance. Interesting because Jason is not the jumping type.

Magni Asgiersson – I Alone: Live
The Iceman’s got some smart fans. They picked a song which totally suits his vocals. He did a straight up cover and his vocals were on spot. Going into the audience, that’s a good move. Going to the judge’s stage, that’s lame. Good intensity. Overall, a great performance. I totally loved it. I hope he stays in the competition longer than most of the other guys.

Ryan Star – Clocks: Coldplay
Great on theatrics, not so great on vocals this week. Between throwing his piano bench away, jumping and sliding on the piano, there were a couple of pitch problems. The “Dark Horse” went a little flat and crackly in the falsetto. But, entertain he did – at the cost of his vocals suffering for it. It was one of the weaker performances of the night.

Storm Large – Bring Me To Life: Evanescence
Another fan song selection disaster, this! I like Storm but the last few weeks have certainly not gone in her favour and tonight’s performance [with backing vocals by Toby] did nothing to win her case. Let’s face it, though she’s got some good pipes, Storm isn’t Amy Lee. She did a pretty decent job but it just wasn’t the right song for her.

Toby Rand – Rebell Yell: Billy Idol
This is one of the few performances from Toby I’m gonna remember. After Lukas totally nailed the song on the first week [that performance still gives me the chills], I was wondering how Toby would fare. But the guy really pulled it off with a much truer cover of this Billy Idol tune. He hit the lower projections reasonably well but his transition into the refrain was great. And that pulling those girls up on the stage act undoubtedly earned him some major brownie points with the Supernova guys.

Dilana Robichaux – Mother, Mother: Tracy Bonham
After the tantrums and the meltdowns and all the bitchings in between, I’d thought watching her again would be a vomit-inducing experience for me but I was wrong. After weeks of going mellow, and hence boring, Dilana kicked ass tonight, furiously playing the guitar, her colourful dreadlocks flying all over the place. Interestingly, her trademark rasp was replaced with clear vocals this week. Range transition was awesome. Loved the scream too. Plus she got the best lighting of all. Only thing that pulled a dampener was her move of putting the guitar down gently. A great performance. But Dave calling it the best performance of both seasons? Retire that bitch already!

COMMERICAL BREAK!

2006-08-28T10:35:00.000+05:30

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Eight Performances

2006-08-23T23:50:00.001+05:30

Okay people, look for some major stuff – guitars, drums, heads, hearts, pinkies, whatever – to be broken in the upcoming weeks on the Rockstar: Supernova stage with the request to “break something” coming in right from that sanctified podium sitting the three-fourths of Supernova, plus one sycophant bitch. Oh no, the break something fest has started already with the angry bed-head tossing away his expensive guitar! Can’t we just do away with the clichés, please?

Seven contestants, two originals tunes this time. So, to make sure Supernova or Dave ‘Bitch’ Navarro doesn’t diss them for not going for the originals, everyone pretends to be really wanting to do an original. And so what we have here is a mock-fight with Magni the Iceman playing the referee, who pretty much single-handedly finds a solution to this strange situation. [Take a hike Supernova, Magni is now wanted by the UN to solve the Middle East problem.] Patrice gets the chance to do an original because, according to Magni, she has ‘earned’ the song by consistently landing up in the bottom three. Wow, great logic! And then, Magni, the super judge, once again saves the day by talking Storm out of getting into a fist fight with Ryan Star and handing the original music sheet to Ryan.

Toby and Dilana are two horny bastards. Give them an excuse and they are fighting to strip each other off their clothes and take in some voyeuristic pleasure. Yeah, when vocal pipes and writing abilities aren’t enough, it helps to show some skin. Or all of it.

And now, let’s get on with the performances.

Patrice Pike – Beautiful Thing: Original
She looked good tonight and it’s a good thing that she insisted on doing her own song because most probably it’s her last week on the show. The song was okay but far too poppy for the band. Plus, considering that she was doing her own song and yet sounding mediocre, that, I guess, is the sign of things to come tomorrow on the elimination night.

Magni Asgiersson – Smells Like Teen Spirit: Nirvana
Another Nirvana song! For Pete’s sake, what’s the deal with Supernova and Nirvana? Anyway, Magni goes for a straight up cover and totally nails it. Well, he can’t really bring that whine in the verse but hey, he’s not Kurt Cobain and this is definitely the best Nirvana performance on the Rockstar: Supernova stage so far. Great energy, great intensity, clever use of his vocal range, cool performance! It’s one of the two memorable performances of the night. Tommy suggests Magni should have broken something. Yeah, how about Dave’s neck? Even his lower jaw would do fine. Or maybe just a coupla teeth. Just suggesting.

Ryan Star – Back of Your Car: Original
Another Big O! Now don’t start getting ideas people, I’m taking about an original tune here. Great song – he starts if off hard and intense and does an amazing job. Like Magni, he has great energy and intensity! He even looks comfortable and less constipated tonight. I’m totally impressed, barring that ditching-your-guitar-scene, which Tommy had suggested just minutes ago to Magni. That made it look a little too staged.

Yesterday, Ryan had said the song was about making love while the world is ending. Reminded me of a movie called Dogma where one of the prophets, who’s born in this life as a total slacker and a pothead, makes a similar suggestion to the female lead when things start looking like the end of the world is just around the bend. Heh, heh! Anyway, the song sounded great. Hadn’t Dilana bitched to some reporter earlier about how Ryan had totally hated the Supernova song? We all can see now why. Why suck-up to a less than mediocre tune when you can write some great sounding ones yourself! 2 of 2 of tonight’s amazing performances. Can you say another encore?

Storm Large – Crying: Aerosmith
Why does this girl have to choose either tough songs or bad songs? And Crying is one tough song to score. Nonetheless, she does a decent job with a tough Steven Tyler tune, though, like Gilby said, it wasn’t memorable. On the stage performance front, I feel she’s slacking a bit. But she gave her best at the end of her performance when she called Dave a bitch and dared him to come to the stage and take that corset off her. I simply love the way this girl handles situations like these. Great attitude.

Dilana Robichaux – Every Breath You Take: The Police
Don’t mean to give anyone a coronary here but this is my least favourite Police tune. To be brutally honest, I don’t like the song at all. Seriously, I don’t understand why people play it as it were a love song. It’s a freakin’ creepy song for Chrissake! But if getting stalked is your idea of a great romance, then you’re welcome to this song and Dilana and her huge fake, pink, creepy eyelashes. Okay, get those ugly things off your face already; they’re too distracting. She sings the song well; it’s a good pop performance. But hello, Miss Mellow! You’re starting to bore me now with every song you do beginning to sound the same. Wonder why Supernova and their bitch don’t have any harsh words for her for not ‘changing it up from week to week’! Them bitches!

Toby Rand – Layla: Eric Clapton [originally by Derek & The Dominos]
What's with Ryan, Toby and the Hoodies? Ryan wore it the week before last only to take it off and reveal his horrible black eye makeup. This week, Toby wore it only to take not only the hoodie but the entire sweatshirt off. This place sure is full of wanna-be strippers: Dave, Tommy Lee, Toby, and the recent addition to the bare-naked club – Dilana. Good energy, good performance. But then, I’m not really a fan. The guy just doesn’t do it for me.

Lukas Rossi – All These Things That I've Done: The Killers
He’s my fav. But I don’t really care for the song and I found his performance tonight a little too quiet. It was not too bad, but it wasn’t really good either. And did he almost lose his voice in a couple of spots? Anyway, he was fun to watch, nevermind that ‘his-back-to-the-audience’ thing he did.

By the way, are these Supernova guys on crack or what? Last week, Lukas did a neat job and they dissed him. This week, it was an okay performance and they lauded him! But one can say Tommy really likes this guy by the way his eyes light up every time he watches Lukas perform. Something very gay is going on here.

PUNCH DRUNK HATE

2006-08-23T12:55:00.000+05:30

The image above is dedicated to my local internet service provider for bringing my online life to a screeching halt for two whole miserable weeks [with a few hours of respite sometime last week!] Screw you very much for taking forever to restore my connection! You truly suck!

MONOLOGUES OF A DRAMA QUEEN ~ I

2006-08-18T20:05:00.000+05:30

Thundershower and lightning brought the internet connection down on Friday, last week. I called up the local service provider more than a couple of times regarding this and more than a couple of times I was assured the problem would be fixed in less than a couple of hours. Yet, a big red cross over the network icon continued to remain a permanent fixture on my desktop system tray. So on Sunday afternoon, as I was thinking ‘consumer court’, a friend took a peek at my PC cabinet’s sexy behind and then, with a pretty massive grin, he told me – “Looks like your Lan card has eloped with thunder and lightning”.

So, I finally managed to get the problem at my end fixed yesterday only to realise there’s something still wrong at the service provider’s end. A good number of calls later, my net connection is finally restored, though the speed can still put a snail to shame. But the thing is, after an agonizing week of a lousy internet-less existence, even tiny doses have started looking good. Seriously people, a couple of more hours of this unbearable withdrawal and this turkey would have really gone cold!

Jeez! I can be such an online drama queen.

MONOLOGUES OF A DRAMA QUEEN ~ II

Yearning for a quick fix during my dark internet-less hours, I reacquainted myself with my old notebook and pencil. But the problem is when the three of us meet, the result is not always pleasant. Here’re some samples of the distasteful things we’ve been discussing after being left to our own devices:

IDLE WORSHIP
Lightning strikes, life pushed into a coma;
mangled wires mutilate my ethereal conversation.
As a dying screen flickers, life ebbing away, and
silence devours the last shrill cry of death,
cold sweat trickles down my spine; fear grips
as I grope around in darkness cursing God.
“What did I do to deserve this?” I scream at Him;
“Idle worship,” He chuckles amidst thunder.

SELF-DEFENCE
Covered in purple and blue, you hit at my shadow;
sprawled on the floor, your mouth froths at my reflection.
It’s easy to hate me for faults your own, bear the grudge;
It’s much too easy to kill than be killed, you lay the bait.

Delirious in the sweet smell of old brown Mary Jane,
Nirvana attained in the rotting cunt of a whore you hate.
Repressed feelings now shoot like semen
in a womb of nothingness, a life lost in digression…

… Tell me, do I bring out the worst in you?

SHADOWBOXING
Stifle those screams, your mind can be so distracting
Dodge your shadows, fear can be extremely crippling
Resist the urge, clip your wings, you’re afraid of heights
Run. Run from reality. Embrace. Embrace nothingness…

… Just like I did.

MY TWISTED LOVE AFFAIR
Complicate things if you must, if it makes you feel mysterious;
Let me deconstruct your myth to reconstruct my righteousness.
My anal obsession with removing all shades of grey
has ended up in me breaking you down to black and white.
Violated, angered and shamed, you pluck at my eyes;
Directionless and disoriented, I stumble and rip out your face.

MIND FILTH
Welcome to my filth
where I reign supreme
over chaos both you and I created
with mutual love and hate.
I levy no entry fee,
self-pity being the only requisite.

Welcome to my filth
where I’ll be the antiseptic
over your bleeding wrists, and
the hand to pass the razor again.
I’ll be the wound you can lick,
the pus you’ll suck dry.

Welcome to my filth
where I feign empathy
over your appetite for devouring pain.
Please feel free to soak in my filth;
your sickness feeds the system
and at my bowels you feed.

SWAP
The lurking tendrils of your nightmare
creep slowly into my sleepy day;
in our crumpled bed you twist and burn
as I send you the horrors of my waking hours.

DISCLAIMER: I leave poetry to the lyrically attuned for I have no pretensions of having the caliber, or even the emotional depth, to create something so beautiful. What you saw up there are simply thoughts – some mundane, some slightly sick – that find their way out of the recess of my mind once in a while for self-purgation.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Seven

2006-08-18T19:20:00.000+05:30

WAS THAT THE FINAL EXPLOSION?
So Zayra’s finally out of the competition. I should be rejoicing now that my prayers have finally been answered but I’m not. After that vomit-inducing Clark-Jason-Tommy-Dilana performance last night on the elimination show, I now have more respect for Zayra than all of them combined. Zayra at least remained true to herself till the end.

Supernova’s first performance with Dilana last night was the cheesiest shit, I tell you! Not that I was taking this whole Supernova thing too seriously, but c’mon, I was expecting something slightly better from these veterans. And Dilana gyrating on stage with four leather-clad female dancers, WTF was that? Shame on you, Gilby Clark, for chastising Jill Gioia for ‘humping’ you and then gleefully being a part of a lesbian sex fantasy!

And Dave Navarro! When will that guy stop being such a suck up? Every time someone from Supernova gets on stage, he’s all ready to offer his ass. And when he told Dilana this week on performance night that her rendition of Harry Chaplin’s Cats In The Cradle gave him the chills, he made me wonder if the air conditioning was the real reason behind the ‘chills’. The performance was alright, but it was no where near great. The only time Dilana gave me the goosebumps was during her Lithium performance. So Dave, do anything, play with your nipple rings if you want, but just stop overrating people just because they have a huge fan following! And Dilana, you’re no longer my favourite even though it’s pretty obvious the gig’s already yours.

Currently on my top three list:
# 01. Lukas: Sang Hero by Nickelback and did a great job though Jason was not too impressed with Lukas’ clinching delivery. I liked what he did with the song though; with all that rawness and edge, he took the song away from the Chad Kroeger arena and made it his own.

# 02. Magni: I seriously do not understand how did this guy land in the bottom three? I admit I’m not a huge David Bowie fan but Magni did a great job on the performance night with Starman. And he totally blew me away with his intense performance of Radiohead’s Creep during the elimination show. Hate to admit it but he did a better job at giving the song soul, depth and emotion and showcasing his vocal prowess than Lukas did with the same song last week.

#03. Ryan: Mr. Intensity earned his second encore of the season for his stellar performance of Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight. He blasted it out, doing the song with a whole lot of passion. I’m beginning to like this guy.

The Remaining Performances:
Toby: Talk about commitment and Toby’s naked butt comes to mind! His running around the pool naked to land a gig with Gilby was hilarious. As for his performance, the guy did a decent job with Peter Gabriel’s Salisbury Hill. I liked the bongo part. Toby’s a nice guy but he clearly fades in comparison to Lukas and Magni.

Storm: A hung-over choice of a disco song ultimately resulted in Storm hitting an all time low on Rock Star stage. I still like the girl though. She’s not a fake. And I love the way this girl handles pressure.

Patrice: She has been a bottom three regular and her performance of Message in a Bottle gave her the ‘sting’ again this week. She has talent, no doubt about that, but… If she manages to land in the bottom three again next week, she’ll get the hatchet for sure.

Zayra: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I liked her idea of going down doing her own stuff. Even found myself liking her performance of her Spanish song.

That's it for this week. Stay tuned for next week's recap – that is if Supernova does not completely piss me off the show with another cheesy performance. In that case, this might be my last Supernova post.

And before I sign off, here're an animated Dilana avatar I'd made recently. I know there are quite a number of Dilana fans out there; so feel free to use it if you like it. Here's one of my favourite contestant Lukas' too, though I don't think any of my fellow bloggers like ol' Chucky. Ah, never mind!

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Six Elimination

2006-08-10T23:00:00.000+05:30

Whew! Tonight was something. Two encores and two eliminations! Next week, there’re going to be four encores and four eliminations, with one of the hatchets falling on Tommy – the Hatchet Man himself. Twice he’s been on stage with the contestants and the next day those very contestants have ended up in the bottom three. Is that guy jinxed or what!

The first encore went to Lukas as I’d guessed yesterday. Okay, I’m sticking to making predictions only on the encore part. Yesterday he did great with Radiohead’s Creep, though he was a little too breathy and a little off key. Tonight, he did a better job, vocally that is, but was a little low on intensity. An impressive job nonetheless. Looks like a fiery haired rocker’s strategy has backfired.

When I first watched Magni do the Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction, I didn’t like him. His performances in the next couple of weeks did little to change that. But now I’m all about to bite my tongue. The more I watch him perform, the more I get the feeling this Iceman’s a worthy contender. Hell, he might even be the dark horse here. Last night it was just him and his guitar and Live’s Dolphin’s Cry. Tonight during the encore, he changed things up and did an electric version of the song. Good job!

After Brooke Burke finally opened the envelopes, in the bottom three were Jill, Josh and Ryan. Yes, Zayra saved again by her tight gold bodysuit and top hat for yet another week! I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’ve started finding Jill more irritating than Zayra. At least Zayra doesn’t take herself too seriously and stays true to herself, even if it means wearing the weirdest outfits and picking songs from the great unknown underground. Jill, on the other hand, lacks her own style and is on this strange impersonation trip. Granted she’s a great singer but she doesn’t have what it takes to be a star, let alone a rock star. Now on to the save-ass performances:

Jill Gioia – Respect: Aretha Franklin
Did she say she chose this song because rock and roll started with blues? Correct me if I’m wrong but Aretha Franklin is more up R&B alley. All that partying in the mansion has surely messed up this girl’s head. First, she makes herself a major pain in other female contestants’ collective asses on the “not playing with Gilby Clark” issue; then she gets confused on the genre of the song she’s performing on the elimination night! Well, she sang it well – the girl can sing – but the way she works the stage makes me think “A rock concert is not supposed to look like that!”

Josh Logan – Shooting Star: Bad Company
Seems like Josh knows he’s on borrowed time here and is determined to go down swinging. Though Tommy Lee thinks Josh’s landing in the bottom three is a direct result of Josh being “strapped in”, locked to his guitar, this soul guy still announces he’s playing the guitar tonight too, and he does. And then, he strips the song off anything that vaguely resembles ‘rock’. Self-sabotage? At least it goes to his credit that he did things on his own terms, well, most of the times.

Ryan Star – Enjoy the Silence: Depeche Mode
I love this song but when he said he’s gonna do that, I was wondering if it wasn’t a bit off for Supernova even if it’s right for his voice. But he did a good job and it was clearly the best performance of the three. What amazed me is that when a member of the audience almost pulled him off the stage, he didn’t miss a note! Now, I’m finally seeing this guy fitting the bill of a rock star. And may be Supernova is also thinking the same thing because they say he’s safe.

And then, without much drama, Tommy brings down the duel hatchet on Jill and Josh! Thankfully Jill doesn't throw a tantrum, which I feared she would. Josh shows he’s a cool guy with great attitude by making his exit laughing. As for the remaining eight contestants, they are off to Las Vegas with Supernova in a private jet for some major decadent times.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Six Performance

2006-08-09T23:43:00.000+05:30

It was yet another interesting night at the rock and roll boot camp, with large doses of theatrics to boot. There were performances by Tommy Lee and Gilby Clark, Ryan Star revealed the reason behind his wearing dark glasses indoors and Toby showed there’s more to megaphones than just making public announcements. But the one overshadowing all the glitter and glam, including Lee & Clark, was Zayra with the tightest pair of gold, full-body leotard ever designed, tallest pair of platform heels, topped with an enormous top hat! Well, I told you it was an interesting night, didn’t I?

Okay, let’s start from the beginning. The show rolled with Rockstar nanny Dave Navarro tongue lashing the contestants for not killing each other for a chance to play with Gilby Clark. That guy is such a Supernova suck-up! But then, the guy has a point. If the prospect of playing with your future band scares you, you need to pack your bags and go back home. Now, let’s see how the remaining ten contestants fared this week.

Dilana Robichaux – Won't Get Fooled Again: The Who
Whoa! That was a nice intro from Gilby. Dilana did a good job with this classic as was expected of her, but something was still missing. The opening was a little too quiet, and then there was a little too much vibrato. It was good, no doubt about that; it’s just that I feel she could have done better. Gilby also added some weak backing vocals, following which the Supernova guys are now thinking of sending him home tomorrow night instead of Zayra.

But you have to give it to Dilana for effortlessly commanding the stage every time. This week, she had no theatrics to fall back on; no crazy stage antics. Even the look she had for this week was pretty clean with her hair back and makeup toned down. [Though the t-shirt and red leather pants she had on were hot!] Still she did not get lost on stage with Gilby there. That’s two thumbs up for her. And she’s now definitely a Supernova pet, since she jumped at the chance to perform with Gilby. Dilana was all smiles when Dave said that if he had his way, he’d give her the gig right now. Dilana, mission accomplished!

Jill Gioia – Mother, Mother: Tracy Bonham
It gets scary when would-be stars like to pretend they are someone else. And it gets scarier when they take this impersonation business a bit too far, which is just the case with Jill. First it was that Courtney Love act that almost got her thrown off the competition. This week, Jill looked like an aging version of Avril Lavigne with a bad case of too much hair extension! Watching her perform tonight was like watching a girl trying to rock the house, depending majorly on the power of her hair extensions. Too much hair-banging! Though Jason Newstead [or was it Tommy?] said it was her best performance yet, I found myself agreeing more with the part where Jason noted that her vocals were not quite there.

Ryan Star – Paint It Black: The Rolling Stones
Have you been noticing the pattern? They are now alternating between Stones and Nirvana songs. Last week – Nirvana, this week – Stones, next week – Nirvana again I guess. I first heard this song on that Tour of Duty TV series and absolutely loved it. Tonight Ryan gave the song a whole new meaning, literally, sporting horrible black eye makeup [obviously, he didn’t get the time to approach Lukas for a tip or two] and a hood with horse mane. When it came to upping the theatrics this week, Ryan was right up there. It was creepy, big time, but he sang okay. Though Dave thought that was the shit [and shit means good in their part of the world], I’m not so sure. Last week, it was sincere intensity. This week, it was out and out drama.

Storm Large – We Are the Champions: Queen
It requires steel balls to do a Freddy Mercury cover and Storm proved she has it. It was a good, toned down performance though not anywhere near great. Over the week, Storm has shown she can do a bit of everything, from rock to punk to just about anything. If there’s any female competition for Dilana, it’s Storm.

Zayra Alvarez – All The Young Dudes: David Bowie
Accompanied by Magni on guitar, Zayra razzle dazzled us with the universe’s tightest gold full-body tights, tallest pair of platform heels [how can you friggin’ walk in those things?!] and a huge top hat. This was definitely her least irritating performance. And this week she even sounded better than on her pervious performances, that is if you ignore her going off key and flat. Dave cracked me up when, commenting on her costume, he said if this were Rockstar: Planet Pluto, she would have had a landslide victory!

Josh Logan – Interstate Love Song: Stone Temple Pilots
One of my favourites [the song I mean] and Tommy’s on drums. Sweet! Even though he was surprised by Tommy’s decision to join him on the drums, Josh did a nice job, though I feel he should have gone a little lower on the pitch. And I seriously did not get his bobble head act. Trying to pick up from where Phil left?

Magni Asgiersson - The Dolphin’s Cry: Live
Though this song is labeled by many ‘hardcore’ rockers as the lamest rock song of all times, the Iceman picked this Live track [the bald-factor being the motivator I guess]. As his kid – wearing a massive pair of headphones – watched him, Magni shushed the crowd before launching into an acoustic version of the song. He stood there accompanied only by his guitar and still sounded great. Impressive!

Patrice Pike – Instant Karma: John Lennon
Though Supernova said they liked her performance, or rather her song choice, Patrice’s performance tonight didn’t work for me. To be honest, she disappears even while singing her heart out, and I’m not only talking about tonight’s performance. And that fixed smile of hers doesn’t do much to win her case. Her performance was not bad, it was okay. It’s just that she’s not rock star material. I think she’ll be back tomorrow to reclaim her spot in the bottom three.

Lukas Rossi – Creep: Radiohead
Ah, my favourites – Creep, Radiohead and Lukas. After last week’s disappointing performance, Lukas proved once again that he really does have what it takes by taking on this Thom Yorke number and showing an entirely different side of him. Though he was a bit too breathy and a little off key, he totally nailed it when it came to sweetening up the vocals. No growling and no mumbling through lyrics either. He took up the challenge and altered his technique, which is an amazing thing to do since it’s not easy to change your technique after years of singing that way. The performance was very fresh and very cool, winning Lukas some major praise from Supernova, with Tommy confessing he got goose bumps during his performance. At this point, the camera zoomed in on Dilana who was not much happy with Lukas stealing her thunder.

Toby Rand – Burning Down the House: Talking Heads
Pretty cool job by Toby. Things were going well till he decided to let a megaphone draped in Australian flag join him on stage and the world was suddenly divided into two groups – one that liked Toby with the megaphone and the one that didn’t. Personally, I kinda liked that stunt though it was a bit OTT. The vocals were great and he worked the crowd pretty well.

So my pick for the bottom three: Zayra, Jill and Patrice, though I’m not sure here since Zayra has a knack for not winding up in the bottom three. Ryan could also be in trouble for his ‘paint it black’ look. As for the encore, I’m guessing it’ll go to Lukas.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Revelations

2006-08-09T15:45:00.000+05:30

Normally I don’t do Rockstar: Supernova reality episode recaps but this week it demands a mention. For this week, we witnessed the emergence of Dilana the strategist.

Flashback to last week: It’s a given that everyone at the Rockstar show have their lips ready to kiss Tommy Lee’s skinny ass at all times but when Dave Navarro [or was it Gilby Clark?] asked the contestants last week why they did not jump at the chance of performing with Tommy, it was not just plain ass-kissing. This was a pretty direct message to the contestants, a message that was surprisingly decoded only by Dilana.

Cut to Reality Episode Week 6: After Dilana finds the week’s songs and brings them to the dining room, she makes sure every camera is trained on her when she enquires if anyone was interested in performing The Who’s Won't Get Fooled Again with Gilby Clark. Interestingly, no one seems to be in a mood for engaging in any catfights or bar brawls over Gilby. So Dilana, without any opposition, gets the song, besides bagging major props from Supernova who obviously watched the video clips and gave her a mental thumbs-up. Then to make sure the point is driven home, she labels her competitors “what idiots!” Brilliant!

Another revelation: Ryan - the pissed bedhead is not as dumb as he would like us to believe. Just kidding. He’s in fact the only person in the mansion who sees through Dilana’s game. “This isn’t a house of brilliant strategists. This is a house of musicians,” he says. And my post-losing-my-religion newfound respect for him multiplies like rabbits.

Yet another revelation: During this week’s reality episode where each contestant was challenged to write lyrics and melody for a new Supernova track in less than 24 hours, Dilana showed us she isn’t exactly the best lyricist in the house, which was a big surprise! I know many Dilana fans here will skin me alive if I say this but I found her lyrics plain silly. I mean, seriously, she can do better than that!

More revelation: Lukas did an amazing job this week. It was crazy coming up with lyrics and melody in 15 minutes flat! Though he’s a bit of a mush mouth and mumbled his lyrics as usual while singing for Supernova, when they show the song writing footage where Lukas reads out his lyrics, you realise how good this guy actually is. His efforts went well with the band too, with Tommy saying Lukas “really gets it”. And what Chucky himself had this to say about his song? “It was dirty and sexy, like myself”. This guy is right up my alley.

Dilana makes her next move: Lukas’ song writing skills surely did not go unnoticed from Dilana’s discerning eyes. Sensing Lukas to be a serious threat to her, our wild-haired strategist makes another genius move. She convinces Lukas to sing Radiohead’s Creep which, she tells him, will show his vocal range. What she doesn’t tell him is that if he screws it up, it will prove that the Canadian can’t do much besides growling through the songs. In that case, Dilana wisely points out later, Lukas doesn’t deserve to be in the competition. Whoa! Sheer Brilliance! Don’t miss next week’s show where Dilana convinces Ryan to do Backstreet Boys number and Storm to do a Britney Spears.

Some more revelation: No one can beat Lukas when it comes to being a total pest. Oh, you already knew that? Watching Lukas pester Ryan who was already struggling with the lyrics/melody writing task at hand was priceless.

Even more revelation: Though he needs a lot of space and time writing songs, Ryan’s pretty good at it as was apparent from what he brought to the table. Impressive!

Observations & comments: Jill sucks – she overdid it again and the band definitely hated it. Storm is all about energy – she writes songs while working out on a treadmill. Zayra needs the great outdoors to get creative, though I’m not sure if she was working on her lyrics or her wardrobe of the week. Magni’s son is one brave kid – he didn’t even cringe when he saw Lukas. Toby, Lukas and Ryan are probably the worst basketball players in the world; the house band trounced them so bad! LOL!

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Five Elimination

2006-08-03T22:55:00.000+05:30

All Hail The Mistress Of Weirdos

I think I’m done predicting Rockstar: Supernova. And I've accepted my fate that I'm doomed to watch that freak show from Puerto Rico for many more weeks to come. Fate, I surrender my bleeding eardrums, teary eyeballs and split sides to you. Zarya will continue methodically sodomizing [yes, she is a woman who’s capable of doing things very anal in nature] every song she can manage to get her hands on and a good number of porn addicted, pimple-faced teenage freak boys will keep on voting for her week after week after week. I really wish I could revoke the voting license of those morons voting to keep Zayra on the show but I know I can’t do squat. So I just give up. And to prove I mean what I say, I've posted Her Weirdness' pic here as a gesture of my complete surrender to the effect leopard-print leotards have on a certain part of male anatomy.

Going by what Lukas had done yesterday – or rather undone whatever he’d done till last week – he deserved a spot in the bottom three. At least the guy had the decency to admit he’d screwed up and deserved to stand before the firing line. But, apparently, ol’ Chucky here has a good fan base who obviously voted their asses off to keep him in the show. And frankly, I’m not complaining. I just hope he gets back to his usual cocky self next week and give us another mind-blowing performance. Man, I still get goose bumps every time I watch his Rebel Yell video. Is he losing some of his make-up too by the way?

I’d also said yesterday Jill will be in the bottom three. And she was. Turns out I’m not so bad at predictions after all, don’t you think? And who were the other two to find themselves in the BT? Dana [!!!] and Patrice. Oh, and by the way, Ryan Star lost his religion for an encore. One question – why is Ryan the bed-head always so pissed off?

Okay, let’s hurry this thing up a bit. Jill sang Alone by Heart and received a standing ovation from Supernova. This woman annoys me on performance nights. And then when she lands in the bottom three and has to sing to save her ass, she does something which makes me think “She doesn’t deserve to go, not yet at least”. Anyway, her 'kick the mic stand' move was oh so lame…

… and so was Dana’s new [and first] tattoo of a treble clef on her hip. I’ve never really been very comfortable with the idea of Dana bending over backwards to fit in. Tattoo today. Drugs tomorrow may be! Not that I’ve anything against tattoos; I’ve got a couple of ’em myself. Anyway, if she really wanted a tattoo, she could have gone for something slightly better looking than a boring single-colour treble clef. But the combat boots she had on were pretty cool…

… so was Patrice’s hairdo.

Now, back to the save-your-ass performance. Dana sang House of the Rising Sun by The Animals followed by Patrice doing Eternal Life by Jeff Buckley. After all three of them were done, it was evident Jill was safe. So who went home? Dana. Not because she did worse than Patrice but because, in Supernova’s own words, she still had a long way to go before she could front a band like theirs. So they thought it'd be a good idea for her to start walking right away.

The moral of the story: if you don’t fit in, don’t bother. Just do your own thing, like Zayra. That won’t help you win the gig but it sure will give you more reality TV shelf life.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Five Performances

2006-08-02T23:06:00.000+05:30

It was another interesting week at the rock & roll boot camp in Supernova land. There were good performances, interesting performances, expected bad performances and some unexpected bad performances.

HOT PERFORMANCES
Dilana Robichaux – Can’t Get Enough: Bad Company
Performance-wise it was not as intense as her Lithium act but she rocked the house down. She walked past the audience, went right up to the judges’ box, sang to them, and then got on the shoulders of a guy in the audience who carried her back to the stage. And she didn’t even miss a beat! That was totally awesome! Vocally, great as usual, though it got a little bit heavy on the rock screech.

Josh Logan – Santeria: Sublime
This was Josh’s best yet. Though I’m not exactly a fan, I actually enjoyed watching him tonight. That makes it one of the rare occasions when I didn’t cringe watching him do his ‘soul man’ thing. And that just makes one thing clear – and it can't get any clearer than this – Josh is not right for this band. He should be doing his own stuff instead of trying to create a Josh-Nova hybrid.

Ryan Star – Losing My Religion: R.E.M
Okay, I’m impressed. This was something totally different, and unexpected. Unusual arrangement. Nice piano solo. Great vocals. Tonight he showed he can sing. He totally redeemed himself.

INTERESTING PERFORMANCES
Patrice Pike – Higher Ground: Stevie Wonder
With a faux Mohawk hairdo, she kicked off the show with Tommy Lee on drums, doing a RHCP version of the song. Though she seemed to be under a lot of pressure, acting all cranky and prompting Ryan to call her a bitch last night, she did pretty well tonight for a person who appeared to be a ticking human stress bomb. It was a decent performance – not great, not bad, just somewhere there in the middle. It was definitely one of her best performances but why do I get the feeling that she’s a little bit ‘fake’ in her performances!

Toby Rand – Pennyroyal Tea: Nirvana
Is there an unwritten law that says no week should pass by without a Nirvana or Rolling Stones song? I admit I swear by Nirvana but this is getting to be a little too much even for me! Can’t say I was really crazy about the arrangement, but then again I kinda liked it, if you know what I mean. He sang his butt off and made the song his own. Though Dave gave him grief about his crowd interaction act, I kinda liked his move of hugging that girl while singing “I’m on my time with everyone”.

Magni Asgeirsson – Clocks: Coldplay
It was a decent performance. Things were definitely quieter than usual on the Magni front, and his pitch was a little off, but it’s not too bad and I kinda liked it. And it was sad to see the man missing his family. Kudos to Supernova for that gesture.

Storm Large – Changes: David Bowie
Last week, it was all punk act with a stage dive to kick things up a notch. This week, it was classy. Excellent vocals, great stage presence. But still it wasn’t something I’d remember after a couple of weeks.

Dana Andrews – Baba O' Riley: The Who
A tough song but she did a good job tonight. It was a stripped down performance which totally worked. She’s getting better and better.

EXPECTED BAD PERFORMANCES
Zayra Alvarez – 867-5309 Jenny: Tommy Tutone
First off, I’d never heard this song before. And I’d never seen an outfit as weird as that before either. She truly does keep outdoing herself when it comes to coming off as totally nuts. Throughout her performance, I was laughing my butt off. And then I laughed some more when Dave Navarro asked for more time for his brain to process what he just saw and the band seconded that request! A place in the bottom three secured.

UNEXPECTED BAD PERFORMANCES
Jill Gioia – Don’t You [Forget About Me]: Simple Minds
This girl has started to annoy me, big time. Did she really have to pick up last week’s bump and grind from where she left it? I hated what she did to the song: too much scream and way too high key. I wish she’d rather concentrate on the song than posturing on stage. Dave summed up her performance perfectly: “It was that performance where people get up and go to the bathroom... or get a beer”. Another bottom three material.

Lukas Rossi – Celebrity Skin: Hole
This was tonight’s major disappoint for me. First off, it was a bad song choice. Hole? You got to be kidding me! He then spent a major part of his stage time with his back to the audience. A bad make-up day? His performance sucked and he looked a bit nervous. Vocally, he was not overly bad, but then again this was no where near his previous performances. I guess he’s earned himself a place in the bottom three. I’m heartbroken.

Timepass

2006-08-01T18:30:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered what our new Superman Brandon Routh would look like if he'd acted in these flicks?

Shall We Dance

Hot Chick

Full Monty

Catwoman

Braveheart

Pics filched from littlecrazymonkey.com

Rockstar: Supernova ~ The Real Reason Behind Phil Ritchie's Elimination

2006-08-01T00:45:00.000+05:30

Amazing what a crap load of useless trivia one can gather from a little bit of late night surfing. Last week, I was simply clueless why Supernova choose Zayra over Phil Ritchie but now I know. If you wanna know what I know, click here.

Anyone stupid enough to blabber off his mouth, saying his real intention behind participating in the show was to get some 'exposure' for his own band and that he was not a whole lot impressed with the sound of the band he was auditioning for deserves to get the boot.

My apologies to the Supernova guys for dissing their decision last week. I only wish the guys in the editing room had not cut off this portion of the show. And my salute to the person who uploaded the uncut video at youtube.com.

Red Hot!

2006-07-31T21:40:00.000+05:30

Was clearing junk from my computer a little while ago when I bumped into this Stadium Arcadium review I’d done some time back for our website. Since I’ve come to the [not so] devastating conclusion that the website won’t up any time soon – or may be not at all if my partners in crime and I keep deconstructing it at the rate we are going – I thought instead of letting it rot, why not post this thing up here and compare notes with other Red Hot Chili Pepper lovers even though the album's no longer on the 'new arrivals' list. So here it is.

THE FUNK IS BACK!

I think that would be an appropriate intro for Stadium Arcadium, Red Hot Chili Pepper’s ninth studio offering. The unmistakable funk style that has become RHCP’s trademark [which, by the way, was pretty much missing in their 2002 By The Way] is gloriously back in this double CD album. The CDs named ‘Jupiter’ and ‘Mars’ justify the arena-size album title – it’s got 28 catchy ear-candies, peppered with generous doses of funk.

The album kicks off with the very catchy Dani California, the first single off the album. It’s a song about the early death of Dani California [the same character from 2002’s By The Way], a small town girl who becomes a bank robber and lives a hard, fast and lonely life.

Before you are through savouring this one, the quartet hits you with Snow [Hey Oh], a slow ditty with some great melody, and Charlie that has guitarist John Frusciante lending singer Anthony Kiedis his falsetto harmonies and simultaneous guitar solos. The title track, Stadium Arcadium, is slow and melancholy, a sharp contrast, at least in terms of energy levels, to the next all out funk track Hump De Bump.

She’s Only 18 proves that even though on the wrong side of 40, Kiedis can still sing about undies, a la Blood Sugar Sex Magik days, and make it sound good. Torture Me starts off with Flea’s solid bass line and Kiedis sounds like he’s in a frenzy here. Flea delivers great bass line again in Especially In Michigan, another great song on the album. The funk is put back on the spotlight with Warlocks while C’mon Girl is one of the ditties with a catchy chorus.

Tell Me Baby, on Disk 2, is an interesting super-catchy Pepperisque song that starts funky and then goes melodic. Hard To Concentrate is a wedding proposal set to music, written by Kiedis for bandmate Flea and his new wife. A slow but interesting number that has muted bass, layered guitars and hand drums doing a perfect slow dance.

The first thing that you notice about 21st Century is Flea’s bouncing bass attack. It’s definitely Flea at his best. Another bouncy track is Make You Feel Better, a somewhat sixties influenced pop tune. An energetic track, So Much I has Frusciante going absolutely bonkers, and with good results. Another not-to-be-missed number is Storm In A Teacup, a full frontal funk attack. Fun and catchy, it’s undeniably old school.

Stadium Arcadium is definitely not for those looking for aggressive music and it requires a couple of listens before you can appreciate it. The feel is mellow throughout the album; it’s some good unpretentious music that gives you the feeling of being free. That description would sound ironic if you remind yourself that the band often communicates ideas of confusion and uncertainty, even chaos!

The Verdict: It’s not RHCP’s best album but still it’s damn good. Spend some quality time with this giant of an album. A good set of headphones recommended.

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Four Elimination

2006-07-27T22:43:00.000+05:30

I say what the fuck! Did they just choose Zayra over Phil? I know both of them would be going home any day now but at least there should be a rule or something here which says contestants should be made to go home according to how bad they suck that particular week.

At the bottom three this week were Patrice, Zayra and Phil. If you recall my previous post, my pick for this week's bottom three were Josh, Zayra, Patrice, and Storm my choice for the encore. I think I’m getting better at this. *wink* But what beats me is why the hell was Josh not in the bottom three!

Last night Patrice was told by Dave Navarro that her performances were getting to be quite boring, and I found myself agreeing totally with Dave. But tonight, for the first time in this competition, I actually liked what Patrice did with Radiohead’s My Iron Lung. A tough song to score but she did a neat job. And that scream at the end was awesome! After that performance, it was pretty much obvious that she was going back to the safe zone. And she did.

Gilby Clark told Zayra last night she was totally pop, which is not what the band wanted. After finding herself at the bottom three once again, Zayra picked I’m Not an Addict by K’s Choice [a song ignorant me had never heard before]. As a preface to her performance, she announced, “I’m a music addict.” I say, send her to a friggin' rehab already. The song’s mellow as they come, her diction was poor and her performance nothing to write home about. Since she didn’t “bring the rock”, which Supernova so badly wants the contestants to do, I was pretty much sure she was going home tonight.

From day one, Jason has been repeatedly telling Phil to go heavy when he is clearly an alt-rock guy. So Phil went heavy tonight with Smoking Umbrellas by Failure – I’ve to admit I’d never heard of the band before, let alone their music – and he did a pretty good job. This was the heaviest he’d ever been on the show. After Phil’s performance, I even let out a premature sigh of relief, pretty much confident tonight was the last we’d have to see of Zayra. But what happened next was totally unexpected.

The band questioned Phil’s motives, if he really wanted to be a part of the band or just win the competition, and on that flimsy ground they gave the guy the boot! That left me questioning the band’s integrity. Isn’t it ironic that Supernova wants the contestants to do ‘their’ kind of music [whatever their kind of music is!]; and when the band’s advice is taken by the contestants, their motives are questioned and they are rewarded with elimination!

Isn’t it so very obvious they kept Zayra because she keeps the show interesting with her verbal sparring with the Supernova guys and also with her weird wardrobe selection! Now whose motives should I be questioning?

Rockstar: Supernova ~ Week Four

2006-07-26T23:56:00.000+05:30

Okay, let me start off my week four Rockstar: Supernova recap by dissing Supernova a bit. Why make up a list of songs – including those from Blind Melon, Nirvana and Live – for the contestants to pick up when Supernova is [I think] not going to sound like those bands? If the band really wants to know whether the contestants can or cannot do their kind of songs, they better give them a choice of songs that sound similar to the kind of stuff they are gonna do as Supernova.

Several contestants have changed their style to fit the band and the outcome hasn’t always been good. In this week’s reality segment of the show aired last night, the contestants claimed to have finally got the feel of what Supernova will sound like. Tonight’s performance did little to substantiate that claim as far as some contestants are concerned.

Tonight’s performance episode started off with one of my favourite contestants [Lukas Rossi] doing one of my favourite songs [The Verve’s Bitter Sweet Symphony]. On the Hotness Meter, Lukas was scorching. I’m downloading that performance for sure. On last night’s show, he had totally nailed the chorus writing bit. Dear ol’ Chucky has a wicked song sense!

Zayra, this week, was ready for X-Men 4 in full body blue latex tights. I really do hope Brian Singer/ Brett Ratner were watching this show because, as Dave Navarro commented, she was ready for an ‘intergalactic travel’, not a Supernova world tour. Oh just in case for some strange reason you want to know what she sang this week, it was Blondie’s Call Me, and the performance was pretty much like her Kink’s act on week two. This goes out to Singer or Ratner or even ET – please call her and take her off this show. Pleeeaaassseeee!

Dana Andrews finally nailed it tonight with Nirvana’s About A Girl. Phew! That was some major transformation from ‘Celine Dion extravaganza’ to brooding rocker chick. By the way, is there an unwritten law somewhere that if you want to be accepted / commit suicide, you should pick up a Nirvana song? I love Nirvana but can we please have a Nirvana-free week sometimes?

I don’t know why but I’ve never really liked Patrice. And to me it seems like she’s doing the same thing over and over again, week after week. I was not at all impressed with her rendition of The Black Crows’ Remedy, a song that used to be continuously on my playlist during the last decade. But I have to agree with Patrice here; this girl is in serious need of some remedy.

Toby Rand’s rendition of Billy Idol’s White Wedding this week was good. The judges loved it but I can’t say I loved it though it was way better than last week’s Runaway Train. I like this guy; he’s got strong vocals but tonight it seemed more like a cover act to me.

I know this is total blasphemy but I’ve only heard The Wallflower’s version of Heroes, not David Bowie’s. And I liked Magni’s rendition of the song though I felt he needs to chuck that guitar and work the stage instead as usual.

The judges went gaga over his stage performance tonight but personally I didn’t like what Ryan Star did with Live’s I Alone, vocally that is. Though the guy was grinning a lot this week and even claimed to have enjoyed doing the whole thing, I’m yet to be convinced. I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s oh-so-unhappy and uncomfortable with only-he-knows-what.

Jill Gioia had the opportunity shine with The Rolling Stones’ Brown Sugar this week with Gilby Clark joining her on guitars. Instead she chose to go for sexy posturing. Gilby was right on the mark when he said her gyrating on him during the performance was unnecessary and she should have relied on her vocal abilities instead of pulling off such cheap antics to garner attention. When people try too hard, they come off as fake; it made Jill look desperate.

Next on was Phil Ritchie with The Wallflowers’ One Headlight. He pretty much did what he’d done last week. Though they had loved it last week, it didn’t sit too well with the judges this time. The guy’s okay but just not right for Supernova. He needs to form his own band and do some alt-rock kind of stuff.

Time for another confession. I have only heard Matchbox 20’s version of Time After Time, not Cyndi Lauper’s, and Dilana did the Cyndi version. Perfect song delivery. I’m impressed as usual, though I don’t get her fashion sense!

Josh Logan really needs to go home. I know there are a lot of people who love this ‘soul’ guy but he doesn’t belong here. If Shannon Hoon hadn’t died from a drug overdose, he would surely have died tonight of heart failure. Once again Josh successfully massacred another song – No Rain – from one of my favourite bands. It’s not sane to keep him in the competition, folks!

I loved Storm Large’s performance of Anything Anything. Vocally, she did nothing different – even the facial gyrations seemed like a carry-over from last week – but this song really suited her. And ooohh… I loved the stage dive she did at the end. That was totally unexpected and awesome. I think tomorrow’s encore is hers.

Picks for the bottom three – Josh, Zayra, Patrice. Well, Zayra is still my pick for the contestant who seriously needs to go home, but I wouldn’t mind seeing the last of Josh either.

MUTE!

2006-07-22T21:19:00.000+05:30

This is what I think of the proposed Broadcasting Services Regulation Bill of 2006 drafted by the Information & Broadcasting Ministry.

OUT ON THE STANDS!

Get your copy today

And if there's time to spare, A History of Censorship in India published by Business Standard is a must read.

Week Three ~ Judgment Day

2006-07-20T22:13:00.000+05:30

From Dr. Feelgood to Hatchet Man? Quite a transition there, don’t you think? Anyway, I feel sorry for Tommy Lee. It’s been three weeks in a row that the world has witnessed Lee doing a balancing act between retaining his badass status and playing the butcher-cum-nurse to the unlucky contestants. Must be so confusing for him. Give the guy a break before he reaches his breaking point. We seriously don’t need another blabbering, slobbering Paula Abdul on the show. Why can’t Gilby Clark or Jason Newstead take the honour of wielding the axe sometimes? Why heap the entire unpleasant task on Tommy all the time? Tommy, I empathise.

Before I go any further, I seriously need to know this: what kind of people actually like Zayra’s singing and vote to keep her on the show? I can’t believe she wasn’t in the bottom three! I remember one of the guys on the judges’ table say this to one of the contestants – “The idea is to have character, not make a character out of yourself.” Where the hell was Zayra when this was being said? And I’m also kinda surprised that Magni got the encore tonight.

Keeping in mind the above comments I just made, I gotta ask one more question. Is there something wrong with my ears? Or have a good portion of the reality-show watching population gone deaf?

Okay, back to business. In the bottom three this week: Jenny Galt, Dana and Josh Logan. No heartbreaks there for me. So what did the rockers sing tonight to save their asses? Read on if you missed the show.

Jenny’s pick for tonight was Stone Temple Pilot’s Vaseline. It was a weak performance, and her voice lacked the edge. It was obvious that Jenny was giving her all to make it work; however, her best wasn’t good enough.

Next on was sweet little Dana. Seems like all the criticisms from the judges and fellow contestants did this girl some good. I finally saw her rocking with some obscure ‘underground’ song. Major improvement. Having said that, I don’t think she’s gonna be here much longer. You either have it or you don’t. And you can’t keep on the act of being someone you are not forever.

Gawd, no! That’s what I said when Josh stubbornly announced he was gonna do another Nirvana number. Is he trying to prove something here by doing Nirvana covers two nights in a row? This better be good. And guess what, he did a pretty neat job with Heart Shaped Box. Okay, Josh I forgive you for last night’s massacre of Come As You Are. Your balls are safe... for now. But I got one question for you – how long can you keep forcing that rasp out of your larynx? I foresee a serious case of laryngitis coming on here.

So no prizes for guessing who went home. Yup. Jenny Galt and her Les Paul. Back to Canada.

But how come Zayra was not even in the bottom three! What the hell is wrong with these people! Hey, wait, I’m feeling sleepy! What the hell is right with me tonight?

Week Three Rawked!

2006-07-19T23:29:00.000+05:30

Last week sucked but tonight was definitely different. Seems like the ‘rockers’ have finally decided to pull their act together. Most probably they were made to sit down and watch a rerun of last week’s Rockstar: Supernova performance episode. Well, good for them, and good for us too because things were definitely looking and sounding better this time around. However, let that statement fool no one because not all of the performances were kick-ass.

After a catfight with Jill, Patrice got Helter Skelter. The fight for the song was passionate, the performance itself was not. It was not a bad performance, but it wasn’t anything that would make anyone sit up and take notice either.
Verdict: Lukewarm

When I saw Josh bent out of shape to get his hands on Nirvana’s Come As You Are, I panicked! Josh and Nirvana? I grew up listening to Nirvana; I own every single Nirvana album [as well as some bootlegged ‘rare’ numbers]; I was devastated when Kurt Cobain blew his brains out; I hate people who cite Nirvana as one of their favourite bands when the only Nirvana music they’ve heard is MTV Unplugged, and may be Smells Like Teen Spirit; and I definitely hate people who mess up a Nirvana song. I’m sorry I watched that performance. It was a total disaster, a catastrophe. What was that forced raspy sound all about? I just hope Kurt didn’t see it from wherever he is.
Verdict: Freezing! Get off the fucking stage and go home, kid. You don’t belong here. And if I ever happen to run into you, I’m gonna chop your balls off!

Why does Storm remind me of Ginger Spice? Her rendition of Just What I Needed was nice. Neat job. But still I don’t see her as fronting Supernova. And I also feel all that facial gyration was unnecessary.
Verdict: Warm

Lukas Rossi. Ah! This guy and Dilana are in a league of their own. He let other contestants get into catfights and brawls during song selection and settled for Let's Spend the Night Together – a ‘leftover’ nobody wanted. Then he put a punk spin on this Rolling Stones classic and totally nailed it. I don’t care if the guy’s not exactly a looker, not to mention rude and arrogant. I’m in love.
Verdict: Damn Hot!

I know that ‘great things come in small packages’ adage is clichéd to the core but hell, Jill makes me wanna say it. This girl can sing. That Hole debacle last week was just a nightmare. She sang All Right Now and I couldn’t help but agree. Yeah, Jill baby, you’re all right now.
Verdict: Hot

Ryan Star. CCR’s Fortunate Son. Why do I get the feeling that the guy’s struggling within every time I watch him perform. He sings well but something is so not right about him.
Verdict: Lukewarm

Tonight Phil gave his best ever performance with White Rabbit. I was surprised, I have to admit. With Jason Newstead himself on the bass tonight, he could have been easily overshadowed. But he was not; he held his own. Not that I adore this guy but I’ve a newfound respect for Phil now.
Verdict: Warm

Dana. Dana. Dana. I really feel bad for her. She’s got good voice – great in fact. But she’s like a lost little girl here – trying to be something she’s not. That rendition of It’s My Life was the worst I ever heard.
Verdict: Cold

Toby, you disappoint me. That was a pretty lifeless performance of a hella good song. C’mon, Runaway Train is one of the classics from the grunge era. Though I liked the way he wrapped up the song.
Verdict: Cold

I loved Stone Temple Pilots. I totally loved STP’s Core back in the 1990s. I do not love Magni because his rendition of Plush made me cringe.
Verdict: Cold

Oh gawd! It’s that time of the show again when Zayra shows up and does something strange! This time she does something strange to REM’s Everybody Hurts. The arrangement is like totally weird. But the last few seconds of the song are actually good. I don’t know whether to kinda like the performance or completely loathe it. Tonight she was a cross between Bjork and Sinead O’Conner. I don’t really understand what’s the deal with this chick! And I don’t know what’s the deal with Supernova either. Did they say they regretted saying she should have gone home last week instead of Chris?
Verdict: None. I'm still in a shock!

Jenny from Canada does Incubus’ Drive. By the way, I totally love the video for this number. Yeah, I’m a total sucker for illustration and animation. Okay, back to Jenny and her guitar, and a few pitch problems. Totally unimpressive.
Verdict: Zzzzzzzz

When they said The Cranberries’ Zombie was on the list, I was hoping Dilana would pick it up. And she did. Among the thirteen, only she could have done justice to that song. She put on her own spin to it and did an amazing job. Dolores O' Riordon would have been impressed too. This chick is fucking amazing – awesome raspy vocals, great stage presence. She’s the only ‘threat’ to Lukas in this audition.
Verdict: Scorching!

Dilana and Lukas to the finals!

Dark Times

2006-07-18T19:20:00.000+05:30

01 ~ Uncomfortably Numb
It’s like something inside you has been yearning for a release. Yet you ignore its plea, choosing to cloak yourself in a blanket of numbness. It’s so much easier that way... to delay the pain, delay facing the truth. Escapism? Maybe. Convenient? Definitely.

I was brought out of this numbness I’d been harbouring for months today by a pinprick of a stupid novel character who uncannily resembled me – strong exterior, hollow interior. As the fictional character struggled with the immense task of making the right decisions, those concerning her personal and professional life, I relived my misery with her. I laughed when she shot down anal retentive people with a retort and felt a dull pain in my chest when she tried to find answers to life’s questions at the bottom of a tequila bottle.

I felt the pain. I was filled with empathy. After god-know-how-long I could feel something warm trickle down my cheeks. Was I crying? Yes, I was. Isn’t that good – letting pain just flow out of your system? But what’s this! I expected at least a tsunami to break open the emotional floodgates. And what do I get? All the intensity of a leaking tap squeezing out the last remains of a 99.9 per cent empty water reservoir! Fuck, I can’t even cry properly! What kind of a loser am I?

02 ~ The best position to lay in bed when depressed
Fetal position’s the best when you’re lying in your bed, feeling yourself sink deeper and deeper with every passing second. You know why? Because when numbness fades away and the floodgates of emotions and dark thoughts suddenly break open, you can always hide the waterworks within yourself. Of course, the strategy’s a total crap - it’s like an animal sticking its head in a burrow and thinking no one can see it now - but still staring at the ceiling while tears gush forth from that lonely cavity within doesn’t seem very nice. It makes you feel empty – no, make that emptier than ever. Still worse is inanimate objects staring at your from either side of your bed; makes you feel like your existence is a joke. Hence, shut everything out, feel the pain and get over with it.

03 ~ No Lithium :: Shower Therapy
I dragged myself out of bed about an hour ago. Yes, I am a certified depressive who goes through frequent bouts of mood swings. I had to force myself to take a shower. I believe in shower therapy. It usually works, that is if I can manage to drag myself out of bed. So I took a shower. Oh, I’ve already mentioned that. But the shower pulled a fast one on me. Mid-shower, hot water ran out. So I guess the therapy kinda lost its impact gauging from my current mood.
Mood: Definitely grouchy to say the least
Caution: Stay away, might bite

It's not the end of the world

2006-07-16T16:57:00.000+05:30

… that’s what the Bald Headed Hermit tells me. “No, it’s not,” I make a feeble attempt to give a nod to that statement. Come to think of it, it certainly isn’t the end of the world. After all, how big a deal is being denied access to your own blog? I mean with all the problems afflicting the world right now, my so-called problem is not even a small deal.

How can I possibly be so melodramatic about not being able to view my own blog at blogspot.com when innocent people are being blown to bits by some fuckheads? People are being killed in cold blood, for no fault of theirs, and here I am crying foul over not being able to view a page full of nonsense, mostly my own.

Yes, there are so many reasons why I shouldn’t be whining at all. Yet there are so many other reasons why I should. Like I said here yesterday, not being able to view my own blog feels like being locked out of my own place. And being forced to use anonymous proxy servers feel like being forced to sneak into my own house through the backdoor! Now that’s not a very pretty feeling.

But it’s just a stupid blog, some might point out. Yes, it’s just a blog, and a stupid one at that; but it’s mine – both the blog as well as all that stupidity therein – and nobody’s taking it away from me! Of course, unless it’s a matter of national security [yeah, my blog is peppered with vital information, such as where the cat poop bombs are hidden in my house. I guess that's enough info to seriously jeopardize peace and security of our great nation if it falls into the wrong hands!]

I hate the violation of my basic human right to read and write. Over the past few months, I’ve met many like-minded bloggers on blogspot and made friends with them. I hate the thought that I’ll be cut off from them. I also hate the thought that I'll be left with no option but to start blogging somewhere else all over again. But what I hate the most is not knowing why this is happening!

It’s not without a reason that weblogs have been hailed as the most democratic form of publishing. After all, barring these crazy blog sites, who would even be remotely interested in allowing some wanna-be writer to use their site to publish her thoughts on her newly acquired pooch or her recently dumped boyfriend! One might not exactly be a publisher’s dream but hell, if people got things which they feel needs to be heard – or read in this case – blogs provide the tools and the platform. And it sucks when someone sneaks up behind you and yanks this platform from under your feet.

Blocked out of my own blog!

2006-07-15T16:15:00.000+05:30

It feels like being locked out of your own place. Since last evening, I cannot access any of the blogs on blogspot, including my own. Every time I enter a URL ending with blogspot.com, all I get is a ‘Request Timed Out’ message.

With panic mode instantly on, I hoped and prayed it wasn’t virus running rampant in my PC. Then followed a thorough virus scan. A ‘No virus found’ message flashed on the screen and the panic mode was auto turned off. After yet another fruitless attempt, I felt unjustly denied access to my own multi-purpose blog, so I put on war paint and entered the forums.

Seems like I’m not the lone warrior. A lot of people, all from India have the same complaint – they can go to blogger.com, log in, get to the dashboard, create new post and publish. The only problem’s they can’t view their own blog or any other blog on blogspot.

There are even speculations that the Indian “government might be playing some hanky panky with blog sites”, which is funny keeping in mind that I keep getting comments on my posts from fellow bloggers living elsewhere in India. If the Ministry of Communications had indeed issued a directive to block the blog sites as some bloggers are claiming, wouldn’t they ensure that it was a blanket block!

Thus far, no one really seems to know what’s going on. But to be forced to use anonymous proxy servers just to view our own blogs – now that’s frustrating!

Speak!

2006-07-15T14:00:00.000+05:30

Supernova ~ Two Down, 13 To Go

2006-07-13T22:57:00.000+05:30

So who got the least number of votes this week on Rockstar: Supernova? Oh, I know the answer to that one: it was Gill Gioia, Chris Pierson and Zayra Alvarez. And who eventually was sent back home? Chris Pierson.

Ahh… Seems to me I’m losing my touch! I’d said in my previous post it would be Zayra to get the boot this week, followed by Chris Pierson. Obviously it was a small miscalculation on my part because Chris Pierson got the royal boot, not that strange thing in black.

Jill redeemed herself this time with Evanescence's Bring Me To Life and I even found myself forgiving her for yesterday’s Courtney Love debacle. I know I got a big heart. Apparently so do Super-dinosaurs; they let Gill off the hook first.

So what does Zayra have this time to redeem herself? The Kinks’ You Really Got Me, the same song she performed the night before! Can you believe that? Well, neither could I until I saw her do it one more time. Only she made it sound even worse, if that’s possible going by what she did to the song last night.

Chris decided it was the perfect time to show Tommy Lee & Co. his ‘other side’ and sang Tonic’s If You Can Only See. Well, the rockers obviously saw whatever there was to see and obviously didn’t like what they saw. So they sent him packing. Last night, Chris had sang Take Me Out and the voters had obliged. A perfect case of imperfect song selection skills, don’t you think?

Performance-wise, Zayra deserved to pack her bags, and her diapers. This girl seriously has no idea what she’s doing here. But the unholy trinity decided to keep her one more week. They know they’ll be letting her go next week; they know she sucked tonight as well but they kept her just to watch her make an ass of herself one more time next week. Sadistic old jerks!

As the dinosaurs went through their expected “Hey buddy, we love you so much but still someone has to go, so this week it’s you” routine with Chris, I was thinking “Never take for granted the horniness factor when it comes to pretty girls and aging rockers”. I don’t mean to be rude but I’m sure it was Zayra’s ‘willingness to learn’ that saved her from elimination, at least for one more week. First she tries to make amends for her last night’s comments. Then she brings the whore on and tells the guys “You can teach me”! What a suck up! And I mean that figuratively as well as literally!

No, I wasn’t sorry to see Chris go, though he’d done a better job than Zayra. I’m just sorry I’ll have to watch that girl rape and murder another song next week.

Supernova? Maybe. Rockstar? Hah!

2006-07-13T00:25:00.000+05:30

What is a supernova? Okay, I admit to having skipped most of my classes when I was in school, but this much I know: a supernova is the death explosion of a massive star; this explosion results in a sharp increase in its brightness, followed by a gradual fading. In with a bang and out with a whimper, huh!

Well, that’s how I felt as I watched the second performance episode of Rockstar: Supernova tonight. If I was impressed last week, this week I was like “What the hell is wrong with these people!” It was a complete waste of time… well almost. Average performances, lack of intensity, a total yawn-fest.

Magni from Iceland kicks off the show with The Who’s My Generation. Better performance than last week but I wouldn’t say it blew me away. Yawn… Next on is Jenny Galt whose rendition of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love is boring. Yawn…

Before I can close my mouth after yawning, something tiny in white scares me. Hell, it’s Jill Gioia, and I tell you people, the Corpse Bride never seemed so much sweeter before. Dressed in a babydoll wedding dress, complete with a handful of roses, li’l Jill takes on Hole’s Violet and my senses instantly feel violated. If only she could redeem her outrageous outfit with her singing but that was not to be. She screams her way through the song. Okay Jill, mission accomplished. You scared me. Now back to the coffin! Oh, and one more thing – never take your style hints from Courtney Love, and when you’re caught ripping off someone else’s style, try not to get into a scream-fest. It damages your credibility.

Zayra Alvarez. She does The Kinks’ You Really Got Me. Yes Zayra, you’ve really got me thinking. How the fuck did you get past the auditions and make it to the final 15 list! Baby, you sucked and are going home this week.

After making it to the bottom three last week – that is after he messed up Sting’s Roxanne, Chris attempts to woo the voters with Franz Ferdinand’s Take Me Out. Sure baby, the voters will take you out of the show… soon. After Zayra gets the boot, you’re next.

Five performances. Complete yawn-fest till now. Now that’s got me thinking, have they started a 'save the best for the last' policy? Next up is Dilana who’s taking on Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire. Let’s say it’s not as hot as last week, but still good. Honestly, I wasn’t so keen on it this time. Something is so not right tonight.

If I liked Josh’s rendition of that Counting Crows number last week, this week he left me squirming in my seat with his creepy rendition of Creed’s Arms Wide Open. If I liked him last week, this week I wanted to send him to American Idol. Case closed. Next!

Phil. Last week - Cult of Personality. This week - If You Could Only See by Tonic. Better than last week. But no stage presence. Total lack of personality. Next is Storm Large, the girl with a powerful voice and an extra powerful name. This week, it’s Cheap Trick’s Surrender for her. Though I didn’t exactly surrender to her vocal prowess, she did better than last week, but still not a whole lot better. Her name makes me think ‘Oh, she should join the X-Men or something’.

Why pick up a Nirvana song if you can’t really rock it? I want to ask that question to Patrice, yeah that girl who seems inseparable from her guitar. Her rendition of Heart Shaped Box was alright, just alright.

For me, tonight’s major letdown was Lukas Rossi and his rendition of Coldplay’s Don’t Panic. How the hell can I not panic when one of my favourite contestants just makes a bloody mess of the song when he could have easily done it so much better! Can we call it ‘The Curse of the Coldplay’? Matt. Yellow. Elimination. Get it?

Just because there’s a Star in your surname doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a rockstar. Ryan Star attempts Rolling Stones’ Jumping Jack Flash. A huge improvement compared to last week but still not good enough. Pretty dull, if you ask me.

She looks like young Drew Barrymore and she’s got a good voice. Dana takes on Steppenwolf's Born to be Wild and executes it well. But like Tommy Lee says, she’s born to be mild. I think she can never be dirty enough to front a band like Supernova. And for her own safety, I pray she doesn’t win the competition. I don’t trust aging rockers with pretty young things! Next thing we know, Dana’s suing rest of the band for sexual molestation.

The last on the line is Toby Rand from Down Under with Killer’s Somebody Told Me. This Aussie rocks. I’ll be keeping an eye on him. And oh, by the way, when I started writing this, it was still yesterday. But the date on my desktop calendar changed before I could finish wrapping up this piece. And I honestly don’t think I have enough energy left in me to change all the ‘tonight’s with ‘yesterday night’. So if you’ve actually bothered to read all this shit till here, please remember to make the changes yourself.

Peace.

Mental Blog

2006-07-11T11:35:00.000+05:30

Mental: 1 old use Affected by a disorder of the mind. 2 colloq foolish; stupid

Mental block…
Mental blog…..
Mental movie poster…

I’ve Had A Bad Day

2006-07-08T22:29:00.000+05:30

Do you have the time to listen to me whine - about nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone no doubt about it

This Green Day number pretty much sums up my current state of mind. I am pissed; sure as hell I’m pissed. Though good sense tells me to stop right now, just stop whining, I can’t, try as I might. Anyway, what good is a keeping a journal if I can't vent out.

The day started off bad. My digital audio player slipped from my hand and went kaput! Just like that! To add insult to injury, the butterfingers syndrome struck again and I dropped my recently bought [and prized] Wolverine Giant Super Special issue and broke its spine. Now the cover’s come off and the book has disintegrated into several pieces.

To ruin the day further, someone told me that I wasn’t very good at what I do best. Incidentally, the person who told me this is not-very-good-at pretty much everything. And while an acid-tongue is not going to make me feel inadequate – I know my own strengths and weaknesses damn well – I do not appreciate people taking liberties with my patience.

If imitation is the best form of flattery then I’m feeling like a celebrity – please note the sarcasm here. As if I wasn’t feeling irritated already, I was told today that some punk ass has been posing as me, which sounds to me like a serious case of identity crisis! Normally, I’m a pretty reasonable person, willing to overlook a few character flaws in people. But today is definitely not normal. And on a day like today, I refuse to find as normal some anonymous person emailing people – those I particularly do not care to keep in touch with – in my name!

Now how irritating is that!

A muffled cry for freedom

2006-07-07T10:45:00.000+05:30

Barbedwire fences disappear,
a hammer and sickle now adorns the hands of democracy.
Guns lower themselves,
a reverse gun salute to resumed Border Trade.
Two giants embrace;
enmity shoved under the snowy rug.
Hidden from flashing cameras and flourishing pens,
trampled underneath a ‘historic’ event,
ignored by champions of freedom,
a lost nation cries.

Forty-four years after the Sino-India war of 1962, border trade was resumed between these two countries through Nathula in Sikkim on Thursday, 06 July. This was the culmination of years of diplomatic dialogue between these two countries.

It’s amazing how no one thought it necessary to include the Tibetans in the dialogue since the trade activities will be taking place in their homeland – now known as the Tibet Autonomous Region, not mainland China! What a crying shame!

They Rawk!

2006-07-07T01:20:00.000+05:30

When I saw the promo for this year’s Rockstar: Supernova, I was like what’s with aging rockers and reality show auditions? And when I heard Supernova was the unholy trinity of Tommy Lee [former Motley Crue drummer/ former Mr. Pamela Anderson], Gilby Clarke [former Guns ‘n’ Roses guitarist] and Jason Newstead [former Metallica bassist], first thing that came to my mind was “the show should be renamed Rockstar Dinosaurs”.

I really had no plans to watch this one, this ‘I need a reality show to pick and choose a [wo]man to front my band’ thing. But then, when you’ve got only two options – watch the soaps or watch a reality show – watching aging rockers act like they're still super-cool seem like a healthier option!

So what have we got here:
* The three dinosaurs we discussed earlier.
*Some beautiful, scantily clad female host whose name I forgot because it was not worth remembering anyway.
* ‘The producer of the year’ - Mr. Butch Someone. Damn, I’m so bad at remembering names!
* Dave Navarro [ex-Jane's Addiction/ Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist] who’s probably there to offer his opinion on the beautiful curves of a curvy contestant – no, Mr. Cheeseball was referring to that Les Paul being strummed by the contestant during performance, not the contestant herself, as he later clarifies!
* And, of course, 15 contestants from America, Canada, Australia and Iceland.

So am I gonna talk about all 15 performances here? Hell, no way. I was not even gonna write in the first place. My blog had almost ODed on American Idol Season 5 recaps recently and I wasn’t going to repeat that mistake. I was just gonna relax, watch the show and forget about it till next week until the next episode. But you see, things don’t always go as planned.

Somewhere between the first and the fourteenth performances, I saw the phoenix rise in all its glory and I instantly forgot about all the performances I’d watched so far! This fiery-haired, pierced and tattooed Dilana sure is a force to reckon with. Her rendition of Nirvana’s Lithium [one of my all time favourites] is simply stunning. For the first half of the song, she stands motionless, staring into the camera. Hell, she even looks scary! Then suddenly it’s all frantic fury working the stage. She is insane; she is I.N.T.E.N.S.E., and she’s one talented singer. After her performance, I had to pick up my jaw from the floor. I was awed! I guess that’s why I didn’t forget her name.

Another name I didn’t forget is that of Lukas Rossi, the Canadian who says he’s here to win. Last on the list to perform, Lukas bears an uncanny resemblance to Chucky the killer doll, and he can kill you with his song, and I mean that in a good way. He does an awesome job with Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell [though not one of my all time favourites] and shows he’s a born performer. This guy can deliver.

What about the remaining thirteen? Most of the Rockstar: Supernova contestants are good. In fact, they are way better than this year’s American Idol Top 10 finalists. But then, being good is not good enough, one has to stand out. That what Dilana and Lukas did – they stood out without making an effort, grabbed the judges/ audience by their whatever with their awesome renditions of great songs and equally awesome performances, and made everyone stand up and take notice.

I got one word for both of them:
Respect.

It’s raining comic books, hallelujah!

2006-07-05T12:54:00.000+05:30

Insomnia sure has its plus points, I must say. The all nighter I pulled with my PC last night somehow landed me in this happy place loaded with an entire issue of Virgin Comics #0 – that is 24 pages of prelude to Virgin Comics’ Devi and Ramayan Reborn. The storylines and characters for both these titles are based on ancient Indian mythologies.

Ramayan Reborn is a hot piece of work, both in terms of artwork and storytelling. Ravana, or rather his headgear, reminds me of Magneto. Similarly, the origin of the ultimate bad guy in Devi draws a close parallel to Lucifer’s pride and his rebellion.

The artwork is cool. No wonder the team’s headed by Jeevan J. Kang, he of the Spider-Man: India fame. The Virgin Comics team boasts of names like Deepak Chopra, Shekhar Kapur, top brass from Gotham Entertainment Group [read Sharad Devarajan and Suresh Seetharaman, the names we pay homage to every time we flip open the cover page of Gotham publications], among others. Snakewoman and The Sadhu are some of the other titles from the Virgin stable, as per ign.com and virgin.com.

Come July 12 and these monthly comic magazines start hitting the stands one by one. Now if only I could get my hands on ‘em [which I probably won’t keeping in mind it’s pretty hard to get new comic books here]. Bangalore is so goddamn blessed! I’m greener than Hulk with envy!

Trouble on Four Paws

2006-07-04T09:58:00.000+05:30

It was a cold day when one pretty-looking, though skinny, cat came to our door and gave her best meow ever. Being suckers for tiny little buggers on four legs, we let her in, knowing little what we were getting ourselves into. After a month or so of proper feeding and care, she turned into an adorable she-cat. ‘Fluffy’ we named that pretty bundle of fur who elicited more than a healthy dose of petting and ‘oohhhhs’ and ‘ahhhhs’ from our friends and relatives.

We were more than excited when Fluffy gave birth to her first kitten. It was as adorable as its mom. Four months later, Fluffy ushered in four more kittens into this world, proving that she was capable of giving birth to more than one kitten at a time and the first time was just a demo!

As soon as those four “trouble-on-four-paws” turned a month old, I realised with much dismay that they could now move around and do whatever they want. For example, they could enter my room and try their tiny paws at playing Tarzan. Playing is good, playing is very good, I agree. The problem is after they are done, the curtains in my room have their threads coming out and the room resembles a war zone.

I have this nasty habit of leaving my stuff, including magazines, newspapers and other important papers, lying about practically everywhere, which is just a nice way of saying I’m a slob who dumps things everywhere on the floor. Taking advantage of this, those puny demons decided one fine day that those papers would make a nice replacement for their litter tray.

So one fine evening, after I came home and entered my room, I felt like I’d stepped on something mushy. A look at my right shoe and everything became clear and at the same time nauseating: cat poop was squishing from the sides of my shoe and the whole room was reeking of ammonia. The putrid smell turned the insides of my guts. Only a quick scan of the room was required to see that those tiny monsters had laid nice sized land mines and piss pools all over my room taking special care not to leave anything untouched that remotely resembled paper!

As I looked around for those tiny buggers to teach them a lesson, Mom interfered, “That’s because you don’t keep your room clean.”

“Yeah, wait till they start doing that in your room,” I retorted. Incidentally, they soon started doing that not only in her room but anywhere that took their fancy.

Besides taking their potty breaks in my room, they also soon realised that my freshly painted walls would work nicely as emery paper replacement to sharpen their claws on. “You know when cats sharpen their claws?” I asked them with an unmistakable tinge of contempt in my voice, “When they are ready to go a-hunting. You guys are no bigger than over-fed mice and you think you can take on a sewer rat! Now that’s funny.”

Despite those insults, they surprisingly exhibited no signs of anger; they didn’t sulk, neither did they relieve themselves in my room that day. Maybe they’ve realised they shouldn’t mess with me, I gloated at the thought. That’s where I went wrong, as I was to find out later.

After a particularly tiring day at work, I came back home, picked up a tee-shirt lying on my bed, put it on, and started channel surfing. It took me only a couple of minutes to realise the kittens had taken a pee break somewhere nearby. The only problem was that I couldn’t identify the exact spot. I checked all the rooms but couldn’t find the mess. Wherever I went, the stench followed me. Realisation then dawned – the stench was coming from nowhere else but my tee-shirt! The puny Beelzebubs!

When it comes to being anti-establishment, cats are pretty hardcore. Don’t believe me? Wait till I send the feline demolition squad over to your place.

By Popular Demand

2006-06-26T12:15:00.000+05:30

Illusionaire & Supastar, here is your back rub.
Well, you asked for it, guys!

Civil War

2006-06-23T00:25:00.000+05:30

Something crazy is going on here. Human bloggers are at war and have drawn out their keyboards. Tempers flare, words fly all over our blogspot, we wince, we duck and we try to have the last word. I'm trying to do the same here, folks - have the last word that is - though without making a mess of Sundancer's comments page. Thoughtful, ain't I ? **wink**.

While a 'Civil War' is going on at the Marvel Universe as superheroes split on the Superheroes Registration Act, fellow bloggers and DC/Marvel comic book lovers here are split on the mutant status of our web-slinger superhero Spider-Man. I say Spidey's not a mutant and I've already presented my case here. Okay, there, I had my last word. I'm happy now. You guys can continue waging the war there.

Oh, and when you all tire of that, you can always head to the digital comic book section of the official Marvel website and join me there. I'm getting my digital dose of X-Men. Currently reading: X-Men: Phoenix - Endsong **GRIN**

Welcome to Blissville

2006-06-19T16:40:00.000+05:30

Something just happened that calls for a celebration. So what happened, you ask. Nothing big; just something small but still big enough to get me grinning like a fool. Before I go out and do the victory dance, I think I'll just jot down my Top 10 list of things that transports me to Blissville.

BLISSBOARD TOP 10
01. Chilled beer on a hot day. Ahh... heaven

02. A long shower, especially when you’re in a crappy mood

03. Accomplishing 'Mission almost Impossible'

Mission: Download a song/album/video you always wanted to get your hands on
Problem: Crappy net connection
Status: Download Complete
Conclusion: There is a God

04. The way your salary slip feels in your hands, esp. when you’re standing just outside the gates of Brokesville

05. A gift box containing Marvel comic books on your doorstep. Sender: Unknown

06. An extremely good hair day

07. An unexpected phone call from an old friend who’s a real mood enhancer

08. A wacky joke, the kind that magically transfers the liquid contents of your mouth to the mug of the person facing you. Bonus points if you don’t really like that person but have to pretend you do

09. A wild booze and dance session at your friendly neighbourhood night club

10. Making out with a hottie and/or [preferably and] a gooood sack session.

Though not necessarily in that order.

Hey people, show some love. C'mon, share what pushes your bliss-button in the comments section, okay!

SOS ~ Part II

2006-06-17T17:36:00.000+05:30

Ever been in a situation where you really need to express but all you can manage is a dumb look on your face? I need to churn out words, I need them to make sense, and most importantly I need to make them interesting while I’m at it.

What am I ranting about? Well, I choose not to bore you with that particular bit of uninteresting information. But this uninteresting and uninspiring thingy, which has lately become a part of my life, has had some serious side effects already on that website I’m [supposed to be] working on with my two other partners in crime!

As far as progress on that front is concerned, so far I’ve only managed to convince my partners to scrape out an entire [and incidentally the only] section we’d worked on [or rather poor KS had busted his ass off on]. As you can see, when I’m in a stupid state of mind, I can be very dangerous. After that incident, or accident if you please, things have kinda come to a standstill.

Well, it’s not absolute standstill either. Flappy intrigued me with a draft of the new site logo he’d designed, which incidentally steers clear of bongs and bottles this time, something like a week back. Then, he whetted my appetite with a glimpse of what our website’s home page might look like. After that – nothing!

The guy’s decided this is the perfect time to go green and become a vegan. Now it’s weed for breakfast, some more weed for lunch and even more weed for dinner [PETA, you’ve just found your new poster boy]. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that all that greenery helps him calm down and get creative.

As far as KS is concerned, I’m sure he’s lying dead drunk somewhere even as I write this. Or sweating his ass off in that infernal Sila heat and shopping for ‘adult’ toys.

As for yours truly, I’m bitching about my partners, hoping to cover up what-I-am-supposed-to-do-but-have-not-yet-done, scratching my head, pulling my hair out and staring at the blank document on my PC screen like a lovelorn puppy for some inspiration. And in response, my head-disk only says “Error 404: Not Found”.

At this rate, I guess our site will be hopefully up by another decade or so. I’ll update you as soon as the site is running, so keep watching this space. Who knows, ten years from now, when people look at you like you’re some curious relic when you enter a discotheque/ pub, you may just feel browsing a doped out website is way more fun than staying home and doing nothing!

Okay, I was just kidding.

Or may be I wasn’t …

The Mockingbird Croaks

2006-06-13T14:05:00.000+05:30

Was it today morning I wrote here I won’t be seen here for a while? Well, let me eat my words. Needed a break from work, checked my inbox and found this list of anagrams:

· Dormitory - Dirty Room
· Desperation - A Rope Ends It
· The Morse Code - Here Come Dots
· Slot Machines - Cash Lost in 'em
· Animosity - Is No Amity
· Mother-in-law - Woman Hitler
· Snooze Alarms - Alas! No More Z's
· Alec Guinness - Genuine Class
· Semolina - Is No Meal
· A Decimal Point - I'm a Dot in Place
· The Earthquakes - That Queer Shake
· Eleven plus two - Twelve plus one
· Contradiction - Accord not in it
· The Public Art Galleries - Large Picture Halls, I Bet
· Astronomer - Moon Starer

This one's amazing:

[From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

becomes:

In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

The Mockingbird Chokes

2006-06-13T08:38:00.000+05:30

This post is probably one of the few songs this mockingbird is going to sing in the next few months' time. That’s because this mockingbird has bitten off more than she can chew by taking up two content development projects simultaneously, both of which are marked ‘high priority’!

So I might disappear for days on end or I might just drop in, rant, grumble and make absolutely no sense – I was never known for exhibiting grace under pressure anyway. Oh, how I’ll miss my leisurely blogging days here. Am I already going through withdrawals? *wink*

But like ol' Arnie once said: I'll be back!

Types of Men in Rest Rooms

2006-06-09T17:28:00.000+05:30

This one had my sides in splits. Go on, read it and tell me which one are you?

Excitable Type: Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.

Sociable Type: Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.

Timid Type: Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he had peed and sneaks back later.

Noisy Type: Whistles loudly. Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow’s tool.

Indifferent Type: All urinals being occupied, uses sink.

Clever Type: Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time.

Vain Type: Undoes 5 buttons to take out tool when 2 would have done.

Absent Minded Type: Opens jacket, takes out his tie and pees in his pants.

Worried Type: Not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of his tool while peeing.

Disgruntled Type: Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts and walks away.

Sneaky Type: Drops silent fart while peeing, sniffs and looks at the bloke next to him.

Sloppy Type: Pees down into his shoe, walks out with his zip open and adjusts his balls 10 minutes later.

Learned Type: Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.

Childish Type: Looks at the bottom of the urinal to watch bubbles while peeing.

Strong Type: Bangs tool in the side of the urinal to knock the drops off.

Drunken Type: Pulls out his tool, sees two, puts one back and pees in his trousers.

Embarrassed Type: Covers his tool with both hands as he stands there and pees through his fingers.

An Insomniac’s Rant

2006-06-04T06:49:00.000+05:30

There are things that keep me awake at night – work and good books/movies. And sometimes it’s just plain raging anger that makes me somewhat insomniac. What angers me? The list is quite long but it would suffice to say here that invasion of my privacy features pretty high up on that list.

Last night, someone did just that; someone barged into my personal space without my knowledge. What pains me more is the person in question is an old dear friend who should have known better than to try and pull off such stunt.

I respect the relationships I share with all my friends; I respect their privacy, their secrets. And I expect the same in return. Last night, a friend violated that trust. I’m angry. And I need to vent out, get this anger out of my system, get my bearings together, calm down and concentrate on my work.

But it’s easier said than done. My concentration power has taken a hike; I’ve been reading the same page for the last two hours. As far as venting out is concerned, shouting at or fighting with this friend is not an option simply because I know such outbursts will not make the situation any better. I thought I’d rant and bitch on this blog. But try as I might I can’t really bitch about this friend; it just doesn’t feel right. Well, because I guess a friend is a friend is a friend after all.

So what do I do? Maybe I’ll just sulk around for a while.

Ponderings for Idle Moments

2006-06-03T15:18:00.000+05:30

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

I got it at Arcamax

SOS

2006-06-01T22:52:00.000+05:30

I don’t exactly remember how I got myself into this. On second thoughts, I think I do. It was a phone call, and a few text messages, that changed my life.

Here was I on a sabbatical, living a hermit-like life, leading a lifestyle that would do Garfield proud, even envious, and suddenly now I’m in a Yahoo conference room with a couple of crazy people – the ones known as Flappy and KS[!] – who threaten to change all that. They say ‘we’ are going to build and host this cool website. And somehow I also happen to be in the team, or that’s what they tell me!

First they tell me, I’ll be handling the editor’s job. Then they tell me I gotta do the reporter’s job too. I wouldn’t be too surprised now if they told me I have to make them coffee, sweep the floor and take out trash too.

Well, after I took a vacation from the real world where the phrase ‘Monday mornings’ doesn’t just mean the morning of the second day of the week, I was sure that my days would start not earlier than 1 PM, that I’d redefine laziness and take ‘bumming around’ to newer heights. That, incidentally my friends, was a sweet but short-lived dream. And I was woken up from this dream, that too rather unceremoniously, by the beep of an incoming text message on my phone three days back.

Get online, it read.

After the preliminary Hi-s and What’s up-s, the three of us are in a conference room for our first threesome [*wink*]. Oh yeah, we are at it for long hours. Yesterday, the chat session lasted for seven hours straight. Among the three of us, KS is more serious and dedicated, about chatting that is, and is usually the first to get online. And he doesn’t even take pee breaks – or rather he is not allowed to. Sample this conversation:

KS: Brb. Nature calls
Flappy: No such calls. Stay put and hold it

As you can see, Flappy is quite the dictator.

But these long sessions are more chaos than brainstorming. In fact, we are about to give brainstorming a whole new definition soon. Our brainstorming sessions are less exchange of ideas and more violent raging of storms inside our brains that threaten to wipe out every single trace of grey cells left within.

One minute, we are deciding on a name for a particular section of a particular page and the next, the guys are on about whipped cream, handcuffs and furs. Another censored sample:

Flappy: Should we have a section on tips and tricks? For example, on better sexual performance…
KS: Shut up. You are in no position to contribute to that section
Flappy: How about ‘How to roll a joint blindfolded’?
KS: Yea, maybe that…
Flappy: C’mon boy, you can do it. You’re at the height of it.
KS: Height of what?
Flappy: Horniness
KS: Yea, well, I wrote Kamasutra-II
Flappy: Ha ha… [my name here] is working on III at the moment
KS: What III? Is that our editorial?
Flappy: LOL. Kamasutra-III!
KS: That! Man, I can write that along with diagrams
Me: I think we should rename our site ‘Horny’s Nest’
Flappy: LOL
KS: LOL

After three days of yahoo conferencing, brainstorming and many useless jokes later, I’m convinced I was flung into this madness by a higher power who wants to make me pay for my bad karma. Is it a coincidence then that the website address includes the word ‘karma’ in it!

Who Came First?

2006-05-30T12:01:00.000+05:30

Lookie what I bumped into! The eternal egg-chicken mystery supposedly solved. It’s interesting. Read on.

Chicken-egg puzzle solved

London, May 28: It’s a question that has baffled scientists, academics and the man on the street through the ages: what came first, the chicken or the egg?

Now a team made up of a geneticist, philosopher and chicken farmer claim to have found an answer.

It was the egg. Put simply, the reason is down to the fact that genetic material does not change during an animal’s life. Therefore, the first bird that evolved into what we would call a chicken, probably in the prehistoric times, must have first existed as an embryo inside an egg.

Professor John Brookfield, a specialist in evolutionary genetics at the University of Nottingham, said the living organism inside the egg shell would have had the same DNA as the chicken it would develop into.

“Therefore, the first living thing, which we could say unequivocally was a member of the species, would be this first egg,” he said. “So, I would conclude that the egg came first.”

The same conclusion was reached by his fellow scientists Professor David Papineau of King’s College, London, and poultry farmer Charles Bourns.

Papineau, an expert in the philosophy of science, agreed that the first chicken came from an egg and that proves there were chicken eggs before chickens. He said people were mistaken if they argued that the mutant egg belonged to the “non-chicken” bird parents.

“I would argue it is a chicken egg if it has a chicken in it,” he said. “If a kangaroo laid an egg from which an ostrich hatched, that would surely be an ostrich egg, not a kangaroo egg,” he said.

Bourns, chairman of trade body, Great British Chicken, said he was also firmly in the pro-egg camp. He said: “Eggs were around long before the first chicken arrived. Of course, they may not have been chicken eggs as we see them today, but they were eggs.”

- The Telegraph, 29 May

For a Friend

2006-05-30T08:16:00.000+05:30

Normally, I’m not a morning person. I take my time to get my butt out of bed and into the shower. But today is different. Today is a dear friend’s birthday – A friend who stays up till 2 AM discussing Marvel Universe and its superheroes and their love lives with me – basically because we have nothing better to do ;) A friend who doesn’t laugh at my comic book collection; a friend who rather shares the passion. A friend true enough to consider doing what is considered unthinkable among comic book lovers – that is part with his prized Amazing Spider-Man comic book [Issue 3] just because I’d missed that particular – and spectacular – issue.

So here’s wishing you a very Happy Birthday, Zoe! I hope you will come back to civilization soon and get to read this. Click here to make your butt-day even happier, bub :)

P.S. Check out the Wolverine Snikt giant super special by Tsutomu Nihei. The artwork rocks!

Five Steps Towards Losing My Religion

2006-05-28T19:05:00.000+05:30

They say time changes the way you think and perceive things. But in my case, my feelings and two-cent opinion regarding certain things have surprisingly not changed. Religion, for instance: my opinion on this subject is the same as it used to be, say, half a decade back. I’d written the following piece a good many years back for a weekly thing I was working for back then. Thought I’d share it with you today.

LOSING MY RELIGION
When REM sang this song, they got the Grammy. If I repeat the same phrase in the wrong place, at the wrong time, I might get ostracised. Why? Because religion is larger than life. Larger than you and me. Larger than anyone. Hell, it’s even larger than god!

But as I have a knack for getting into trouble for speaking my mind, I’ll take the risk again - I lost my religion. I just dropped it because it just didn’t make sense to me. It just didn’t! When? I don’t know. It was not like I woke up one fine day and realised that I didn’t like religion anymore. It was rather a gradual process… the process towards losing my religion.

Before any misconception breeds, let me affirm here that I am not an atheist. And no, I don’t have any problem with god. It’s the religion part that irks me. Now, I come from a religious family [whatever that means] and my father would roll in his grave if he knew that I would be writing this piece. In fact, there was so much religion everywhere while I was growing up that it made me sick. Religion was shoved down my throat to the extent that I choked.

So what’s wrong with that? Nothing much actually, but this forced religion just took away my chance to find god on my own and build up a rapport with him/her. Since there are so many gods and goddesses in our land to choose from, I could at least have enjoyed the freedom to choose the one I wanted to worship. Or invented one for that matter! But, no, I was dragged by my collar and told that this particular deity was the one I was supposed to revere. There goes my free will! Step one towards losing my religion.

Okay, Mr God looked decent enough [at least in the crafted images; never got the chance to meet him personally!] and appeared pretty harmless. But then again I was told that I was supposed to fear him! Now why the hell is that required? Is this some sort of tyranny? When do we have to fear someone superior? Point A - when we are in the wrong. Point B - when the superior finds us too inferior that he wouldn’t mind stubbing out our puny existence.

Let’s analyse Point A. Now despite all our vices, we can’t be in the wrong 24/7, right? If so, what is the need for this perpetual fear? Is being born a sin [like some say] and we have to be forever sorry for our existence? Or is it some kind of a feed-on-fear theory crafted by a handful of people for their interests?

Point B – If god doesn’t care a fig about us, why should we worship such a bighead? I think god equates love; so from where did this ‘fearing’ part creep in? Beats me! Maybe our folks haven’t read their scriptures right coz from what they tell me, this grand old man sounds more like a dictator to me, the one who needs fear to keep people under subjugation, than a loving Father. If god is a bigot, I don’t want to join the party. If he is not, then the religious heads are painting a totally wrong picture of him and I don’t want to buy that. Step two towards losing my religion.

Okay now, folks admit that god is love and religion is all about loving and sharing. So then, show me love. Yeah, just show me where is it? Does loving a certain god [or is it religion?] mean wiping out other religions? Is that what love means – waging a ‘holy’ war? And what are we sharing – hate, greed and fanaticism? Does religion mean another Gujarat? Or does it mean Talibanisation?

Don’t you think that religion has been [mis]used by the politicians and some god-men one time too many for their vested interests? So much so that religion has been rendered a dirty word. It has been politicised; it has been turned into a dirty game. And poor ol’ god has been left in the corner to nurse his own wounds. Step three towards losing my religion.

Okay now, let’s spare these crooks for a while and look within the institution of religion itself. What do you see? Love, devotion, feeling of oneness? Bullshit! I see a race for one up-manship, I see hypocrisy, I see double standards, divisions and discords, I see lust for power and money, I see everything else apart from love and god. Maybe god too must have had too much of this and took the last bus out of here! And I don’t blame him. Step four towards losing my religion.

And then I observed that people believe bribery to be a way of life and even god could be bought! If you grease god’s palms with sacrifices, gifts and ‘donations’, the gates of heaven will be wide open for you even if you butcher half the mankind on earth. If they think god is the creator, the protector and the giver of all things good, how can human beings ever dream of winning his favour by donating some cash to his coffers? Do they really think that god can be bought? Who gave them the idea in the first place and why? I don’t think I need to elaborate on this! Step five towards losing my religion.

“If there is a god, we must see him; if there’s a soul, we must feel it; otherwise it is better to be an atheist than to be a hypocrite,” thus spake Swami Vivekanand. Though I admit I haven’t seen god, anything good, no matter how small it is, reaffirms my faith that there is someone out there watching over us. There has to be one; otherwise we wouldn’t be here in the first place!

However, religion has long stopped serving its purpose. It has remained nothing but an old worn out cloak that is being dragged around to serve anything but god. Besides, I don’t think god is so publicity crazy that he would need religion to create hype around himself. It makes me sick to think that we have gone down so low to the extent that even god is used and abused for power.

I don’t regret losing my religion and I guess god wouldn’t mind it too. We both got better things to do!

Dams be damned, beliefs be banned!

2006-05-25T16:30:00.000+05:30

India: the biggest democracy in the world? Ask me and I’ll tell you: this biggest democracy is also probably the biggest joke in the world. Article 19, sub-clause [a] of clause [1] of the Constitution of India reads “All citizens shall have the right to freedom of speech and expression”. What they forgot to mention is that this particular freedom of speech is restricted to singing stupid slogans like ‘India shining’ and ‘India smiling’. And what freedom of expression really means is freedom to stand around wearing that dumb expression on your face when you know you’ve been fucked but you can’t do a shit about it so you pretend nothing happened in the first place. Cross that thin invisible line and you are a danger to national security.

Take for instance, celluloid star Aamir Khan’s much talked about stance on Narmada Bachao Andolan and its subsequent result. First to be lined up in the firing line was his Rang De Basanti. And now it’s Fanaa, scheduled for release tomorrow, which probably will not be screened in many of the multiplexes in Gujarat, thanks to violent protests by political sycophants.

[Mr. Khan certainly has a knack for creating controversy and my salutes to him for speaking up!]

While the freedom of sycophancy is alive and kicking, our fundamental right concerning freedom of speech has apparently died an unnoticed death. Though this post does not intend to discuss whether or not the Narmada Bachao Andolan activists and supporters are right in opposing the construction of a dam, it does intend to criticise those in power who accord freedom to a handful to silence vox populi.

The fact that some party members in Gujarat have just gone ahead and openly exhibited their tendencies towards hooliganism and the Gujarat government’s silence on this front only goes on to prove that these hooligans have blessings of the powers-that-be to carry out these ‘protests’, which can, at best, be called chamchagiri. Government sanctioned protests? Give me a break here!

First of all, their protests against the screening of Fanaa do not make sense. If the party workers are irked by Aamir Khan’s remarks against the Gujarat government, that’s all right. If you wanna get pissed, go right ahead and vent out – vocally that is. It’s a democratic country. But what makes them believe they have the right to decide whether or not the public watches a particular movie! These sycophants certainly have no right to make a hue and cry over a movie just because the movie stars an actor who said something about someone that they did not want to hear.

That brings me to the ongoing The Da Vinci controversy in India. Nagaland Government has gone right ahead and banned the movie as well as the book in the state. Rediff.com reported that “Nagaland government has issued an 'advisory' to all the cinema hall owners, video parlours and cable operators not to receive, distribute or screen the film in any form in Nagaland.

“Not only that, the Nagaland government has also decided to ban the Dan Brown novel in the state and appealed to all booksellers, stockiest, distributors, individual readers not to sell, buy, distribute or read the novel in the state.” [The full report]

Do these governments take all its citizens for juveniles? Do they think we are incapable of making our own decisions? Our school/college textbooks taught us about the Constitution of this great democracy guaranteeing its citizens some fundamental rights. What these textbooks did not tell us was nothing should be taken at face value. Now we know, now we know.

And did they say ‘India smiling’? Yeah, right! Like Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa smiling: I know something you don’t – that it’s all a damn farce!

Crack The Code

2006-05-21T15:50:00.000+05:30

It’s brag-time, friends! I took an online "Art of The Da Vinci Code" quiz today, and guess what – I totally nailed it !

Here’s my scorecard for the record:

Suggest me a better way to get an instant ego boost! ** wink**

It’s fun. Crack the Code here.

Check this out, bub!

2006-05-20T19:12:00.000+05:30

I just realised I tend to obsess over things I like. I know some of you are yet to recover from my 'Chris-obsessed' bloggings but you ain't seen nothing yet, bub. It’s Wolverine-fest now!

But before you proceed any further, let me warn you: this post is meant strictly for hard-core Wolverine fans. Okay, bub, follow me now.

With X-3 slated for release next week, I've been reading a lot of X-Men/Wolverine comic books and digging up my old comic book collection too. But the problem here in our part of the world is we don't get all the issues and end up missing on a lot of action. For instance, until recently, I had no idea that Magneto, the ultimate nemesis of the X-Men, had once stripped Wolverine of adamantium in his body [and all this time, I was wondering why Wolvie was going around wearing bandages on his knuckles in some of the issues]. Our bub here later on finds out that the adamantium laced onto his skeletal frame is actually poisonous and is hindering him from making optimum use of his healing factor. If you didn’t know that, now you do, thanks to yours truly and wikipedia, which enlightened me on this subject.

Here’s another site that's got the Wolverine Files. I bumped into it late last night, and it’s got pages upon pages of info on our hairy 5’3 anti-hero. [No points for guessing this particular site is my current hangout :) ] God bless internet. Well, today’s post was intended just for sharing this amazing site. I’m generous, aint i? **wink**

By the way, Hugh Jackman, who plays Wolverine in all three X-Men flicks, is 6’2! But then, most artists also steer clear of painting our dear ol’ Wolvie as a vertically challanged super-hero. Now he looks almost as tall as Cyclops & Co. in most of the books! Have you guys noticed that?

As for me, these days, I’ve been keeping my fingers and toes crossed, hoping and wishing that Marvel does what it did last time during X-2’s release – bring out an official X-3 movie comic book adaptation! I hope the gods of the Marvel Universe are listening to my prayers.

The Da Vinci Code 'Does Not Meet Hype'

2006-05-18T22:25:00.000+05:30

The glamour and buzz surrounding Ron Howard's celluloid adaptation of Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code, it appears, is going to be short-lived. Following its opening screening at the Cannes Film Festival on 17 May [the film releases in India tomorrow], the critics have given their verdicts - the film fails to live up to the hype that surrounded Brown's novel!

The online edition of BBC News today carried a round-up of critics' views. All of whom are unanimous in almost entirely writing off the movie. You can click on the headline of today's post to go to the BBC page.

Most often than not, film adaptations of novels never really do justice to the book. Take for instance, Robert Ludlum's Bourne Identity / Supremacy . My pulse raced while I read Ludlum's books and I couldn't put the books down till I reached the last page. However, the films just didn't do it for me. I, for one, felt Matt Damon was not fit to play the role of Jason Bourne. Then the scriptwriters went on to streamline the plot of the novel. And then they left out the final plot twist!

Another good example [I guess] is the film adaptation of Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. Although I admit not to have read LOTR [oh, blasphemy! LOL!] and yet loved the movie series, The Madman from Aizwal tells me the films are no where near the book.

But then, there are always exceptions. Anthony Hopkins' portrayal of Dr. Hannibal Lecter as an ingenious, cultured psychiatrist and resourceful serial killer in the Hannibal triology, adapted from Thomas Harris' novels, is awesome, making Dr. Lecter the number one film villain of all time and winning the film and actors a good number of Academy Awards for SiIence of the Lambs. Though the scriptwriters have changed the controversial ending of Dr. Lecter and Agent Sterling becoming lovers and escaping to Argentina in Hannibal, it hardly does any damage to the plot.

And, before it slips off my mind, I'd recently read somewhere that the fourth in the Hannibal series, titled Behind the Mask, is to be published this year and filmed as Young Hannibal. 2006 is going to be a great year it seems, books and movie-wise. I can barely wait to watch X-3: The Last Stand scheduled for a 26 May release in India.

Another film adaptation of a book I absolutely love is Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting, hailed as "The voice of punk, grown up, grown wiser and grown eloquent" by Sunday Times.

Oh, gawd! I've been going on and on and on, haven't I? What''s wrong with me!!!

Happy Birthday, Travis

2006-05-18T00:47:00.000+05:30

Today is Travis' [administrator, mrdaughtry.com] birthday. So all Chris Daughtry fans here on blogger.com, especially Virg and Sundancer, please visit his site today and wish him a Happy 21st Birthday.

P.S. The link to Travis' website is just a click away. Yup, that's the last one on my Link List!

Shoot Me, I Like The L'il Elf

2006-05-17T22:40:00.000+05:30

Went to Glitter-Graphics.com to get a new layout for MySpace. Ended up bumping into and falling in love with this little elf. I know it's so last year putting blinkies on your page but this one enticed me enough to seriously risk ruining my online image. LOL! So shoot me!

A Riddle For You

2006-05-16T15:11:00.000+05:30

Why do we always end up hurting the ones we love the most when we are hurting ourselves? We were discussing this last night/early today morning, my dear friend Flappy and I.

I guess one of the reasons could be our thirst for empathy. We want the other person to understand what we are going through at that particular point in time. Hell, personally, if it was up to me, I would probably opt to make the whole world wallow in self-pity along with me. But seriously, when I’m down in the dumps, despite my requests to be left alone, inwardly I’m craving to be the centre of someone's universe. I don’t know about you people but that’s how I feel sometimes; and this is what I want - someone to be there and listen to my rants or just participate in the silence. I know that’s asking a lot, but deep within don’t we all want to be emotionally pampered brats sometimes?

The idea of you hurting and your dear one being aloof somehow does not gel with most of us. On a more sub-conscious level, I guess we even want the person we love to actually feel the pain we are going through… may be just a fraction of the pain we are going through. Because then we don’t have to suffer alone, we don’t have to feel alone or alienated; we are somehow looking for that ‘we are in this together’ kind of a feeling, you know. Then we can perfectly understand one another; then empathy won’t be hard to come by. Misery loves company, huh?

But then, most often than not, things don’t work out that way. If it’s not our dear one trying to over-analyze our problems/feelings [trust me, I really hate that!], then it’s him/her actually tiring of our negativity and simply telling us to get a grip [ouch!].

Love, hate, selfishness, self-pity, a desire to be loved a little bit more… just a tiny bit more. These are the things that make us hurt. And hurt others in turn. Or may be I’m wrong. I don’t know. Tell me what you think.

Sunday, Lazy Sunday

2006-05-14T18:34:00.000+05:30

Today’s Sunday. So, naturally, I’m in a good – though lazy – mood. That means, though I won’t be writing anything [which, I just realised, I haven’t done in a while], I’ll be copy-pasting some jokes I got in my mail today.

How to Handle Stress

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

There now......feeling better?

Don't Forget to Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die
A woman had died in January, but her bank had billed her for their annual service charges for February and March on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 but was now around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the bank.

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she's dead?"
Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Bank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you, the part about her being dead?"
Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Bank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

Rust In Peace, Fox

2006-05-11T19:54:00.001+05:30

You know what! I’m sick to my stomach and I’m crying bloody foul! I simply refuse to believe Chris Daughtry got the lowest number of votes this week on American Idol. The show is rigged. This much I’m sure of. And what do we have left with us now – a clown backed by the Asshole Patrol, a pretty face who has been screwing up every song diligently for the last couple of weeks, and Mr. Vibrato.

I probably must be sounding stupid crying myself hoarse over a stupid reality show. But right now, I’m so angry I could throw around enough cusswords to shame a truck driver. But that wouldn’t change anything, now would it? Chris was clearly the best among the four contestants; but they are looking for pop idols, not rockers. So they did what needed to be done to get the rocker dude out of the show.

So, in reply to a question left behind by a fellow blogger, this is all I have to say – the frigging Fox/AI producers can take the show and shove it up their ass! I’m done with the show.

The Phantom of the Blogosphere

2006-05-10T17:17:00.000+05:30

Ghostwriters. I’m sure everyone’s familiar with that term. There’s no dearth of those goodhearted people who let others take credit for their authorship, provided they are compensated handsomely. It’s an open secret that a lot of celebrities, with their new-found penchant for literary pursuits, avail ghostwriters' services. Our politicians form another ilk that relies on ghostwriters for their politically-charged/correct speeches.

But has anyone heard of ghostwriters for blogs? I have. Because I’ve recently turned into one! There’s this guy I know who can’t be much bothered with mundane activities such as writing. But then desperate times demand desperate measures. When a guy’s got to impress a girl, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do, right? And in this particular case, this guy thinks maintaining a blog is a good way to impress his girl. So enter yours truly.

I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I don’t know if I’ll enjoy long-term blog ghostwriting. But I know maintaining two blogs can prove to be a royal pain in the you-know-where, and now you also know who to blame if your friendly neighbourhood mockingbird doesn’t turn up to sing for you regularly ;)

That is one crazy mime act!

2006-05-04T22:49:00.000+05:30

I’ve nothing even remotely interesting to write about tonight. So what I’ll do instead is leave you with this video link - Karaoke For The Deaf. Click on it if you want a good laugh.

Pep-pills, pep-talk

2006-05-03T23:20:00.000+05:30

Give me amphetamines,
give me life;
Give me barbiturates,
help me sleep at night.
I quit it all to start over again;
Take it as the confession of
a big time junk quitter,
a small time prescription junkie.

A prescription to pull you up. Another to bring you down. Isn’t it funny how a piece of stamped and signed paper wields the power to legalise your addiction and save you the trouble with cops!

Hostile Takeover

2006-05-02T23:46:00.000+05:30

When it comes to updating my blog, my track record isn’t exactly flawless. There are times when you can’t update your blog and there are times when you just can’t update your blog. The latter is the reason you’re noticing some gaps between posts this time.

Sometimes I don’t post anything new out of sheer laziness, sometimes it’s due to lack of inspiration, sometimes it’s due to erratic power supply and sometimes it’s that pop-up window on my PC screen that says ‘Cannot Contact Server’ that’s to blame. This time it’s all of the above – and more.

Sunday I didn’t post simply because I didn’t want to. But Monday was another day and I was already going through blogging withdrawals, but then it was fate’s wish that I was to go cold turkey.

Okay, if I were to throw politeness to the wind, I’d say there’s been a hostile takeover of my PC by a family friend. The guy says there’s something seriously wrong with his PC – PDFs don’t download and in rare cases when they do, they won’t open; a certain freeware he just read about somewhere [I’m sure it’s full of spyware] and downloaded won’t run on his system; and to drive in the final nail in his PC’s coffin, his internet connection’s gone with the thunder and lightning! So now that his PC’s practically useless, he’s spending quality time with mine. And – would you believe it – he’s even downloaded that shady freeware in my PC! If the system crashes, he’s getting the bill for sure.

Yesterday evening, I finally had this beauty all to myself. But my happiness was short-lived. I booted the PC only to realise that my internet connection too had gone with the wind, the thunder and the lightning!

Then today, the seize over my PC continued almost the entire day again. And when I finally got to get my hands on it, realisation dawned – server's down yet again! And that too till 11.30 pm! Just when I was about to holler 'Is there any justice in the world?', the answer was staring me in the eye. The connection was back on the track, with the network connection icon on the system tray winking its eye at me, as if we were sharing a naughty secret. Oh, the little things in life that bring us joy!

I know this post is not making much sense but ecstasy never made sense any way. And that’s the mental state I’m in right now – ecstatic! I know I’ll get over this excitement by tomorrow and may be I’ll post something sane here.

Parental Advisory: Explicit Content

2006-04-28T22:44:00.000+05:30

First off, thanks to Sundancer for approving today’s headline. And now, this goes out to all those under 18 readers – cover your eyes with your hands, slightly part your fingers and peep through them to continue reading.

What image does the word ‘transvestite’ conjure up in your mind? As far as I'm concerned, till yesterday, the word always reminded me of that scene in Trainspotting where Begbie meets this dame in a [gay] pub and gets busy with her in a car. Seconds later, much to his annoyance, he realises that all this time he had been making out with a man!

Why am I bringing this up? Well, because I made a new acquaintance yesterday – someone I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget. Why? Because this person almost gave me a heart attack. And no, she’s not the transvestite.

I’m in a bank. This young woman walks right up to me and says ‘hi’.
I say hi.

She tells me we studied in the same school.
Oh really?

Now she’s in Bangalore.
Uh-huh.

She’s now married and has a kid.
Oh, that’s nice.

She then asks me if I’m still in touch with her younger sister.
Who? Do I know your sister?

After a lot of explaining on her part, realisation finally dawns upon me. I did know her sister – like five years back. The only problem was I thought her sister was a mister – at least that’s what her dear sister had told me. And in a drunken stupor at a party, I’d even locked lips with this Mister Sister who I thought was just a pretty boy! Goddamn transvestite! And a liar at that!

After that uncalled for enlightenment, I simply didn’t know how to react, initially at least. It was a real shocker, I have to admit. Then I got pissed, replayed the whole scene in my mind, felt cheated, got more pissed, thought of posting a big hate note to all transvestites in general, then decided not to make an ass of myself, so instead ended up bitching about some stupid American Idol contestants.

Twenty-four hours later, here am I – writing about this entire mess of an episode. The only difference now is I’m laughing about it – laughing at what had happened and laughing at myself for taking it all too seriously. Not that I condone that person’s lie but since I believe in trying out everything at least once before I kick the bucket, I think this has got to be one heck of an interesting experience for me. Plus, now I’ve an answer ready with me if anyone asks me ‘how does it feel to kiss a person of the same sex’.

And oh… I watched Trainspotting again this evening and almost split my sides watching Begbie’s post-realisation reaction. Still laughing my ass off thinking about it!

Dial I for Idiot

2006-04-27T18:05:00.000+05:30

You don’t need to visit Dialidol.com to get ‘predictions’ on who’ll be the next American Idol contestant to get the boot. There’s a much simpler way to figure that out. On performance nights, Idol contestants somehow tend to give the viewers a clue as to who will be going home the next day. Last week, Brett ‘Ace’ Young was dressed for his own funeral. And then he sang the symbolic That’s All to drive in the final nail in his coffin. This week, Kellie Pickler had a serious case of a really bad hair day. So no prizes for guessing who got the boot this time.

Fox finally played the official goodbye and good riddance song You Had A Bad [Hair?] Day for Kellie. And about time too! While she had simply bothered and bewildered us last week with her rendition of Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered, this week she mercilessly mutilated Unchained Melody; it was horrible even by her own standards.

Useless Trivia: Dialidol.com had predicted that either Kellie Pickler or Paris Bennett would be in the bottom three. They were in the bottom two. Argh…. Like anyone cares!

More Useless Trivia: Simon Cowell is neither to be trusted nor taken seriously. He had ‘predicted’ that Taylor, Chris and Kellie would be the Top 3 finalists. Now Kellie is gone [finally! Thank God for that!] Besides, it was also Simon who had advised Chris Daughtry to come out of his comfort zone and be more versatile. A week later, after taking Simon’s advice, Chris found himself in the Bottom Three - for the first time!

Even More Useless Trivia: How many blind men does it take to see a dumb blonde? Answer is one. Kellie Pickler is so dumb, even the blind operatic tenor Andrea Bocelli could figure out she’s a blonde!

My predictions for next week? As much as I like li'l Paris, I think she’ll be the next to go, though I wish it were Taylor Hicks. That spastic prick will stay around much longer, and continue climaxing on stage. His name should go into the Guinness Book of World Records as the only guy who sang himself to multiple orgasms on stage.

Ban Extreme Stupidity on TV: Send Kellie Home

2006-04-26T23:15:00.000+05:30

Okay children. Tonight, we are going to learn something important. It’s called ‘How Not To Make An Ass Of Yourself On National Television'. And volunteering for tonight’s show is the original dumb blonde - American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler!

Mockingbird: Kellie, after your Tuesday night’s performance, you have been credited with unwittingly slapping a ‘horror’ tag to the 1990 movie Ghost.

Kellie Pickler: Gee… have I? Err… is that good or bad?

Mockingbird: Err.. bad because your rendition of Unchained Melody was horrendous! Really, what the fuck was that?

Kellie: Aww… did I butcher the song? I’m so sorry.

Mockingbird: Darling, you not only butchered the song, you single-handedly massacred every single eardrum that was tuned in Tuesday night or whatever night they air the show in other countries. It was the most robotic, emotionless performance in the history of karaoke singing. It was, as Simon Cowell would say, an utter mess from beginning to end.

Kellie: Ryan, can I have the community snot rag, please…

Mockingbird: Performances aside, did you know that the song was written by film composer Alex North as a theme for a 1955 flick Unchained and the lyrics, which tells of a prisoner’s anguish over his girlfriend, was penned by Hy Zaret?

Kellie: It was? Aww.. I was thinking it was written by The Righteous Brothers in collaboration with LeAnn Rimes and sung by Patrick Swayze for Demi Moore, which turned out to be pretty sad for Demi Moore because Bruce Willis got jealous and divorced her! Sad, because I like happy endings.

Mockingbird: So America, if you like happy endings too, please send Kellie home… if they are willing to take her back. And judge Paula Abdul too to a good therapist – she seriously needs help.

Windows to Billy Bhai’s World

2006-04-25T23:15:00.000+05:30

Today was an unbelievingly crappy day. Spent the entire day and a better part of the evening locking horns with this black and silver monster that runs on Windows XP and refuses to acknowledge that it’s here to make life simpler for me, not complicate it. After hours of, what they call, troubleshooting, I was ready to shoot just about anyone and anything when I got this mail. Normally, I find forwarded mails quite annoying but the ‘forwarder’ of this particular mail – besides lightening my mood – also made me believe in telepathy!

I’ll paste the text here:

WINDOWS XP ERROR MESSAGES
A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
• Close your eyes and press escape three times.
• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
• Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"

Wait! There’s another one!

BILL MEETS SATAN
Eventually, Bill croaks and Satan is there to greet him. "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner.

Without hesitation, Bill says, "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't!"

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows XP!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

Ahh! Talk about poetic justice...

I don't wanna be a Superhero

2006-04-24T21:48:00.000+05:30

I got bitten by an itsy-bitsy irradiated spider today, just as I was coming out from the shower! Where – you don’t need to know that. Anyways, following that close encounter of unwanted kind with the tiny arachnid, I’ve been feeling strange all day. I got fever, and I’ve been getting sick too.

Okay, I admit I’ve been throwing up since 3 am - hours before I got in touch with the little bugger - most probably because I ate fish last night, which, it turns out, I’m allergic to. So what if I was trying to make the whole stuff sound a little more interesting! I mean Peter Parker got his powers after he got bitten by an irradiated spider, right? And you’d rather read about genetically altered spiders than your common garden spiders, right? Right? Right?

But come to think of it, I wouldn’t want to be a vigilante superhero. I mean that’s such an unappreciated job. Allow me to elaborate just a tiny bit. First: They are overworked and underpaid… and in some cases not paid at all and are forced to take up lousy day jobs, barring a certain Bruce Wayne from Gotham City. Second: Look at Spider-man, X-Men and most of the comic book superheroes. They save the world and at the end of the day, what do they get – boos and jeers! Now that has got to suck big time! Plus, I don’t think I’d look great running around the neighbourhood dressed in bright colourful tights. And I have no intention of getting arrested by the fashion police.

Besides, how can you take a guy seriously who goes around wearing blue and red full body tights! A certain Uncle Ben once said: “With great power must also come great responsibility”. And if colourful tights come as a part of that great responsibility, I’m paying a late visit to the hospital to flush out the toxin from my system
left behind by Spider-Man’s far cousin.

Down with despotism!

2006-04-23T19:44:00.000+05:30

Following two weeks of public protest calling for an end to Nepal king Gyanendra’s absolute rule, the monarch, in a televised statement on Friday, April 21, announced he was restoring executive power back to the people. The public threw his offer for truce back at his face, refusing to believe that their absolute monarch could have a sudden change of heart. And the people were right – the king’s willingness to play along was, at best, a façade.

Looking back at the events that have taken place since then, this obviously seems to be the king’s idea of handing executive powers back to the people:

# Curfew imposed on Saturday April 22, a day after the king made the offer.
# More than 100 pro-democracy activists injured in clashes with police on Saturday.
# The ban on cell phones begins Saturday afternoon, a move said to be aimed at restricting text messages sent to organise protest rallies.
# An editorial in the state-run newspaper - Rising Nepal - warns of a ‘historic blunder’ if the opposition parties failed to accept the king’s offer!
# As per APF and CNN reports, police lob tear gas at pro-democracy protesters on Sunday, April 23, on the edge of Kathmandu, whose residents are under a new curfew and a cell phone ban. In another part of the city, the police charge protestors with batons to disperse the crowd.
# As per an APF report, a protestor dies in India on Sunday from bullet wounds received in clashes four days earlier in Nepal; he had been rushed to Lucknow for treatment.

Is anyone still buying the story of a despot’s change of heart?

Nepal continues burnin’

2006-04-22T17:58:00.000+05:30

There’s a mass without roofs
A prison to fill
There’s a country’s soul that reads post no bills
There’s a strike and a line of cops outside of the mill
There’s a right to obey
And a right to kill

- Calm like a Bomb, Rage Against The Machine

Nepal Burnin'

2006-04-21T18:40:00.000+05:30

This is something I made a while ago. News channels depress me, so do those anti-democracy forces. I won’t try to write today. Instead I’ll quote here a speech made by Rage Against The Machine, one of my favourite bands, on 02 February, 1993, at Stokholm at the Melody.

"We’ve got to regain knowledge again, and we’ve got to regain an understanding again, of who we are. Not just those chosen to fuel systems, but individuals who have the power to criticize and analyze, and attack injustice when it becomes prevalent and apparent in front of our faces like it is in ours right now. We’ve been all put to sleep. Put to sleep to a system. A system that continues to perpetrate ignorance amongst our spirit and amongst our minds. One that wants you not to act. A system that would rather see all of you at that bar drinking beer filling your minds being put to sleep with beer or with drugs rather than acting against it and fighting a system which has been perpetrating imperialist lies and other fucking bullshit for five hundred years. So fuckin’ drink up or fuckin’ wake up. You’re part of the solution or you’re part of the fuckin’ problem.”

AI: Conspiracy theories and stark realities

2006-04-20T15:15:00.000+05:30

American Idol [Chris] or American Idiot [Kellie] - the choice is America’s

Ace is out of American Idol. That makes me wonder if I’m really getting better at making predictions. Maybe I should start hosting knowyourfuture.com and start making some dough out of it. Maybe I should send a condolence card to cousin G for Ace’s un[?]timely elimination from AI. Maybe I should just stop posting stuff about this stupid reality show. Maybe I should not…

Even though they are yet to air the show here, I got the shock of my life this morning, thanks to the message boards. Chris Daughtry is in the bottom three [!] this week, with Paris and Ace completing the triangle. This is completely insane! Normally I don’t get all worked up over a reality show but this is simply ridiculous. How can a guy as talented and versatile [as he proved to nay-sayers Tuesday night] as Chris be in the bottom three, which incidentally is a first for him? And how in the hell did Kellie Pickler who, in her own words, “butchered” the song, secure her spot in the safe zone? C’mon, even Ace did better than Kellie this week! Over the months, this dumb blonde has gone from somewhat amusing to downright irritating. Will votefortheworst brigade please stop this nonsense now!

Conspiracy theories are also already afloat message boards. The AI producers are now being accused of manipulating the bottom three for the ‘drama/shock factor’.
Comment: Probable since Chris was, till now, being seen as the contestant most certain to win the title.

On the other hand, some are pointing at the North Carolina angle of the story, which goes something like this: Both Chris and Kellie are from NC. Chris is talented and already has a solid fan base voting dedicatedly for him week after week. Kellie can’t sing and is being viewed as the worst contestant. So the NC people are rooting for Kellie to see to it that one of their contestants is not voted out early, confident that Chris will get enough votes with or without their help.
Comment: Now how stupid is that!

Yet another theory is that people got pissed when they found out that the AI producers were actually ‘grooming’ Chris to be the next American Idol and stopped voting for him.
Comment: Can you seriously believe that!

Whatever may be the reason, what happened is unbelievable and unfair. But then, one thing’s for sure – Chris Daughtry is a star in his own right and he’ll do well with or without the American Idol title.

Now before we go dissing the Fox reality show, we gotta remember one thing: this is the show that helped him showcase his talent to the world. Had he not participated in the contest, a large majority of us would never have got to listen to his music. And if the conspiracy theorists are right and Fox is messing up Chris’s chances of making it to the top, these TV producers should also remember that a lot of people like me who never ever gave a shit for reality shows are tuning in to AI just to watch Chris perform. If Chris goes, so will the viewers.

With Chris on stage, It’s A Beautiful World indeed!

2006-04-19T18:40:00.000+05:30

First off, thanks again to Travis of mr.daughtry.com for making video clips and mp3s of Chris Daughtry’ Tuesday night American Idol performance available on the fan site. Because out here in our part of the world, we get to watch the show only after something like 24 hours!

Now, to set the ball rolling, let’s first start with the week’s theme: with the emphasis on Rod Stewart’s The Great American Songbook songs - y’know songs from 1930s and 50s - I was a tad worried for Chris. I mean he has this whole rocker thing going on so well for him and suddenly they drop that Rod Stewart bomb. What song could he possibly perform from that era? It was a million dollar question that had stumped many Doubting Thomases like me. But that was until the rocker dude casually walked into stage and blew everyone away; yes, including Simon the Great who even tried to take credit for Chris’ performance!

Chris belted out What A Wonderful World wonderfully and with relaxed ease too [though, in the pre-show footage, he is shown saying: “It’s harder for me to sing a song like this as I’m used to belting out at the top of my lungs”]. It was something totally different from what he usually does. And he dressed the part too! And thankfully, the eye make-up he was sporting last week is also gone!

Okay, now, let’s get some things straight. For those under the impression that all contestants had to belt out Rod Stewart songs this week, here’s the lowdown - The Great American Songbook series is a compilation of American classics performed by Rod Stewart and not his originals, as some of us dimwits initially thought. What A Wonderful World, originally by Louis Armstrong, is featured in Stardust, the third installment in the Great American Songbook series. Though I’ve heard only the original version, I’m sure Chris made Rod Stewart a happy man, besides showing us a new side to him and - this is important - making a certain Mr. Simon Cowell look like a total ass.

As shown in the pre-show footage, after hearing Chris do his thing during rehearsals, an impressed Rod Stewart says: “You did great! Let me give you a hug. Well done!”

In the next clip, Rod is again all praises for Chris: “Chris, he was brought up on heavy metal… I think he did a wonderful job! You know, this is a break out for him. I mean I can’t imagine Ozzy Osborne singing this song for instance; no disrespect to Ozzy Osborne, but it’s a vocal push.” Now, how dope is that!

Now, time for the judges’ comments, ad verbatim:

Randy ‘The Dawg’ Jackson: “For everyone who thought there wasn’t another side to Chris, dude you just slayed them. You showed the sensitive side of you and it was the bomb!”

Paula ‘fluttery’ Abdul: “You have definitely proven to this guy [points at Simon] … you have shown that you are in this to win. You broke out of any mold that he [Simon] thought you were in and you did a fantastic job!”

Simon ‘$#@*’ Cowell: “I have to take a certain amount of credit for that performance, because I’ve said for a while that you have to change your style. I think you have proven the point by listening to me that you could do better in this competition. Chris, I thought it was a great performance. Congratulations!”

It’s 6.30 pm right now, which means it’s another hour and a half worth of wait before I get to view the entire show on TV. Oh, by the way, I read somewhere online that Ace did a pretty decent job Tuesday night. Still I stick to what I said earlier – it’s Ace’s time to get the boot this week, since Kellie Pickler still continues to reign as the worst contestant at votefortheworst.com, a site dedicated to the cause of promoting and voting for the worst American Idol contestant.

Ace That!

2006-04-18T17:54:00.000+05:30

I was watching the American Idol Top 20 Party video* just a while ago and also noticing how Brett ‘Ace’ Young loves to hear himself talk! He’s talking about what people are talking about him; he’s talking about how he has to go incognito even to get a pair of jeans or something; he’s talking about how he’s become – get a load of this – a household name at 25, and he’s talking about the affair he’s soooo not having with his ‘television co-star’. Aww com’on, Mr. Ace! You were on that show as a ‘guest star’ and you know what that means – small, short, insignificant and extremely forgettable role.

Fortunately for his ego, they’re gonna have a rerun of the episode, though not because of his great performance or anything. Isn’t it pretty obvious that the television people are trying their best to cash on in Ace’s 15-minutes of fame which will be over anytime now – this week if I’m not mistaken.

If American women have any sense left, they’ll finally notice Tuesday night that Ace can’t sing. I say women because I’m sure, barring his relatives and may be some close friends, guys don’t and won’t vote for Ace. And if these voters have a wee bit more sense, they’ll understand that this is a talent show where the focal point is vocal prowess of the contestants, not a parade of would-be/wanna-be actors/models. Plus karaoke doesn’t count as singing skill.

My apologies to my cousin ‘G’ (wink, wink) who just somehow happens to adore this guy but I just can’t stop hating everything about this guy. It’s like “how many ways I can hate thee, let me count the ways”. First of all, though he can’t sing, he has the audacity to think he can. He even has the nerves to think he’s doing a pretty good job of it on stage! Somebody ace that!

Ace: "Opps! I'm having a mental black-out... can't remember the lyrics...."

G: "Hey, did he just forget his lyrics?!"

Okay, back to Ace-bashing. You gotta give it to this guy for his self-confidence, which borders on the absurd most of the times. He thinks if he gives that blank, spaced out gaze into the camera (example: the close up of his eyes at the end of his Father Figure performance) and tries ‘reaching out’ to his audience (careful there, you might just end up pulling your muscles), votes will automatically start flooding in. He somehow feels that dopey look of his is ‘sexy’. And somehow a good number of women also seem to buy that, though I can’t, and don’t want to, understand how and why!

Then, many weeks later, he not only makes a mess of Train’s Drops of Jupiter but also lets the world get a glimpse of his ‘scar – the one he supposedly got while playing basketball’ while mouthing “Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star / One without a permanent scar”. I mean, how cheesy can one get! Gimmick sells and his also did because he sure did survive another week. How pathetic!

Then last week on the Queen Night, he makes the most obvious song choice and does a feeble attempt at rocking the AI stage with We Will Rock You. C’mon, this used to be ‘the’ rock anthem that rocked arenas! Still he miraculously survived during the elimination night.

The only part I like watching him is during the result nights when he’s, most often than not, a part of the bottom three. The dazed look on his face that seems to say “I can’t believe a hunk like me is being made to stand here! I can’t believe they didn’t vote enough for me!” Extremely amusing.

* Thanks to Travis from mrdaughtry.com for dedicatedly posting all Chris Daughtry related mp3s and videos on the fan site for views and downloads.

The Night of the Queen

2006-04-13T19:24:00.001+05:30

Bucky Convinton, the message boards tell me, is out of American Idol Season 5. (NOTE: Out here, they don’t air American Idol live. So we have to wait a little while more to catch the show). No surprise there that dear ol’ Bucky was eliminated, but still it came as a surprise to me that he actually went before Brett ‘Ace’ Young! It’s a pity all the 'fat bottomed girls’ out there in the US of A didn’t vote for Bucky because I personally think that Ace’s rendition of We Will Rock You was the lamest of all April 12 night performances, followed by Bucky’s version of Fat Bottomed Girl.

And what the hell is wrong with Brett? First he goes on calling himself ‘Ace’ and he’s got more eye makeup than all the female contestants on stage. I have nothing against guys wearing makeup but things go a little awry for me when they got more makeup on than me! And Ace’s shiny highlighter did nothing to make me change my mind about his singing capabilities, or lack thereof.

Kellie ‘Suds in the Bucket’ Pickler sure did surprise me this week with Bohemian Rhapsody. When they said she was gonna sing that, I was like WHAT???!!! A tough song but – surprise, surprise – she pulled it off well. By the way, did someone pull a fast one on her by telling her it was gonna be a Goth Night or something? The makeup was (to borrow from Simon Cowell’s illustrious vocabulary) hideous, and so was the outfit. And so was Paris Bennett, appearance-wise that is. Yes, Paris, The Show Must Go On; we all know you sing damn well but could we please be spared your experiments with outrageous wigs and wardrobes?

Katharine ‘Broadway’ McPhee continues to amaze me week after week after week. So does Elliott Yamin (barring the country night performance in his case). Their renditions of Who Wants To Live Forever and Somebody To Love were awesome. That makes me wonder why Katharine was made to stand in the bottom three last week, and why, despite having so much potential, Elliott continues to be the underdog!

I have mixed feelings when it comes to Taylor Hicks – I can’t decide if he is entertaining or clownish... but then, clowns also do entertain! He got me kinda worried when he started something that vaguely resembled tap dance during the middle of Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I had my finger crossed, hoping he does not stumble, roll down the stairs and land right at the feet of Lord Simon.

And if you’re thinking I’ve gone out of my mind by not mentioning Chris Daughtry's performance, let me tell you – I was saving the best for the last. His rendition of Innuendo was mind-blowing, with even Queen (the band, not Queen Elizabeth) going on record saying that the guy has amazing vocals. I’m sure Freddie Mercury must be nodding in agreement. Oh, by the way, as they informed on the show, this song has never been performed live. That means Chris is the first. From here on, I stop yapping and let the experts say what they thought of Chris’ Queen Night performance.

Randy: “I was expecting big things from you tonight. Dude, you definitely did not disappoint, you delivered, baby!”
Then he goes on to howl “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” thrice, scaring everyone, including himself.

Paula: “The reason the band probably never performed it live was because they probably don’t want to and only you probably could.”
She then tells him what everyone has been telling him already over the message boards – that he supercedes even the band’s (who originally wrote and performed the song) performance.

Simon: "Chris, they don’t perform the song live because it’s not a very good song… "
Simon, being Simon, has to live up to his reputation of being a condescending, know-it-all prick. Though I've kinda started liking this Lord of the Jerks, I do hope he is paid a visit at night by Freddie (the one from the horror flick, not Mercury!) for his incessant bitching. He, however, admits that it was the “best vocal tonight, best believable vocal tonight”.

Rock on, Chris... You are the best!

Death on a Cold Saturday Night

2006-04-11T22:48:00.000+05:30

He died on Saturday night, an hour short of midnight. A cold, painful death in that cold hospital bed on the eighth of April. Makes me shudder to think death can be such a lonely affair… for the one who’s dying. Nine years ago, on ninth April, my father had breathed his last in the same hospital. His younger brother chose the same month (and also almost the same date) to go into that deep sleep. And while mourning the newly dead, it appeared to me that almost everyone had forgotten that it was dad’s death anniversary the day before.

At the cemetery yesterday, I sat by his headstone and I could feel that the pain I had felt back then when I had just lost him renew all over again. But I guess that’s just the kind of price one has to pay for being a former prodigal child, a wild child who dares to go against the norms. And that’s a hell lot to pay.

A letter left on a father’s grave
Questions pile up like cold concrete,
building me a chamber of guilt.
Cold, vicious, unfeeling accusations
sting my cheeks, my life fluid drops
forming a maroon pool below.
Could have been,
would have been
had you been alive.
I should have, I could have
But isn’t it too late to speculate?

I try justifying things that went wrong;
my failures laugh at me.
I know I was brought up right,
but circumstances wanted an upper hand;
my life was twisted out of shape,
I digressed to the point of no return.
And they tell me the cold me
was the reason you left.
I know everything’s gone now
but I’m trying not to break.

This mark of prodigal child stamped on me
burns me like hellfire from within.
I regret saying those words,
may be I was out of my mind.
But regrets won’t undo the past;
no matter what I say now,
for me time won’t rewind.
And it is the thought -
that I failed you to the last -
I’ll take with me to the grave.

CHINK MAJOR

2006-04-08T15:54:00.000+05:30

Chink, Chinkie or Chinky offensive slang > noun 1. Offensive terms for a person of Chinese descent. The term is thought to have come from a mispronunciation of the Chinese word Chung-Kuo, meaning China.
2. (In India) Any person bearing Mongoloid features, especially those from the North Eastern states.

I was going through a Linkin Park message board today on MySpace. There, some jerk had posted something to this effect: “Don’t let Chink Minor bully you (LP) guys” - an allusion obviously directed at Mike Shinoda, his American Japanese lineage and his side project Fort Minor. Reading that made me wonder if I need to enroll myself in an anger management class!

That said, those who have not yet watched Fort Minor’s ‘Where’d You Go’ video can catch it on yahoo. Here’s the link http://music.yahoo.com/ar-24143734-videos - Fort-Minor It’s a nice video starring real people sharing their real life stories. I know, I know, I’m doing some FM promotion here for Shinoda dear ;)

I guess that’s also my way of getting back at that stupid guy who posted that stupid message on the LP MySpace message board. Why? Because I hate the word ‘chink’. It’s damn offensive, and racist too. But this is one derogatory term people from North Eastern parts of India have to put up with every time they go to other parts of their ‘own’ country. This is not to say all ‘mainstream’ Indians view North Eastern people as ‘strange’ and aliens. But then morons are not in short supply here and stupidity always rears its ugly head. So, this is for all the people who look at ‘Chinks’ as strange / inferior / sex objects – screw you very much. Rot in hell, you moronic, xenophobic, racist pigs!

Yesterday, I bumped into this UNI report on how soccer star Bhaichung Bhutia (another 'Chink') was served an arrest warrant on 6 April after he failed to appear before the court to identify the thief of his luggage! This is frigging unbelievable! I’ll copy paste the news item here in its entirety:

Arrest warrant against Bhutia
April 07, 2006 12:36 IST

National soccer icon Baichung Bhutia on Thursday said it is humiliating to get arrested in order to get back the possession of his own luggage, lost in transit while returning from a tournament a couple of years back.
A district judge on Thursday issued an arrest warrant against Bhutia for failing to appear before the court to identify an alleged thief who stole his luggage in a train. Sadhan Mondal, first judicial magistrate of Howrah, directed the Salt Lake police to produce Bhutia on May 20.
"It’s really humiliating to get arrested for getting back my possession," Bhutia said in Kolkata on Thursday.
"I, however, do not have any official communication on it. I came to know about it from the media. What kind of system is this. I heard that the luggage had been recovered but might be lying with the police. A few weeks ago an officer came to me carrying the summon issues by the court," he added.
The national soccer captain had lost his luggage on Howrah-Chennai Coromandel Express on October 31, 2002, and a case was filed with the Shalimar GRP station.
"I regretted my inability to turn up on the given date owing to my professional commitment. The police officer asked me to confirm it in writing on the back of the summon letter. I did it. But at that point I did not know it was illegal and this is what I have to face," he said.
A person, Harekrishna Ghorui, was arrested on the charge of the theft and Bhutia had been summoned several times for identifying him and to depose in the matter. But as Bhutia had not appeared before the court, a warrant of arrest was issued against him on Thursday by the district court.
Bhutia said the luggage stolen had some important papers that belonged to his wife Madhuri and some other documents very dear to him.

Talk about justice! Shall we call it another ‘chink’ in the Indian judicial system?

An illustration says a thousand words

2006-04-06T21:48:00.000+05:30

I'm in a kind of lazy mood, so I'm not going to do much writing here tonight. Let the picture say it all.

Click on it if you want a better view ;)

Yes, there are times when freedom seems to be just another farce...

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And Flappy, my man, this is for you: created in Illustrator. Let's say, it's my way of saying 'Thank You' for introducing me to this program, though in my own 'paagal' way!

HE CAME, HE SAW, HE CONKED OUT!

Remember the times?? LOL!

Go ahead, click on it ;) Just Do It [wink, wink]

The Sexiest Baldie In The World

2006-04-05T22:04:00.000+05:30

Am I being hyperactive tonight? I think watching Chris Daughtry
perform on stage does that to me [wink, wink!]

Chris has got me hook, line and sinker since his rendition of
Fuel's Haemorrhage on the American Idol. This one sure can rock!
Whether or not he bags the title, Chris is a winner all the way.

This pic is for all Chris fans on blogger.com.

Rock on...

Just One Of Those Days

2006-04-05T21:23:00.000+05:30

There are times when we all feel like losers. Loser moods, loser moments, loser days…
And this one was written a few ‘loser days’ back. I know it sucks but it’s my goddamn blog space, right? And Flappy, if you’re reading this, try reading it before you start your dance with Mary Jane ;)

BEAUTIFULLY WASTED
I’m sitting down here,
wondering why the world is passing me by;
let down by powers up high,
lost in this wilderness of lies.
Confusion reigns
and I ask myself -
Why try when failure’s staring me in the eye?
Isn’t it a beautiful waste of time?

Call me optimistic,
I’ve mastered the art of losing.
Call me a first-grade lunatic,
insanity can be fun sometimes.
Are you confused?
Am I not making sense?
Why try to understand the incomprehensible
when it’s such a beautiful waste of time.

When your heroes die and you wonder why,
it’s such a beautiful waste of time.
When your beliefs shake,
life’s foundations crumble,
it’s such a beautiful waste of time.
When you finally see shades of grey
in between black and white,
you realise it’s been a beautiful waste of time.

When you can’t breathe,
and still you keep trying to live.
When things refuse to go right
and living is an endless fight;
you’re a disappointment,
that’s what they tell you,
try living like you’ve never lived before
coz it’s such a beautiful waste of time.

The Second Coming

2006-04-04T21:30:00.000+05:30

I admit I’ve been pretty regular about not regularly updating this blog. I could give you a million excuses – of how all the forces of nature got together and conspired against me, keeping me from updating this journal, of how life’s been a total bitch to me. But, like a fat singer once sang, I won’t do that. Because, no matter how good the excuse, it is still an excuse and, thus, a waste of time – both yours and mine.

But I’ll tell you where I’ve been for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been in a hospital, watching a life slowly fade away, bit by bit, breath by breath. I’ve been watching someone I know fight a losing battle against a disease that has no cure. I’ve been noticing with disbelief how little life means to those who are entrusted with the task of saving lives. I’ve been noticing with disgust how hospitals have now turned into parasites, the kind that suck you dry of your money and then caste you away to die. May be I’ll write about it here someday. May be I won’t. But for now I’ll leave you with something I wrote a couple of hours back:

ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE

An estranged couple speaks:
It’s funny how a four-letter word keeps this cycle spinning,
funny, how a hundred - in this game for two - keep you and me running.
Love shrouded by lies and this new age self-denial theory;
These wise men preach absurdity, the kind they don’t practice;
these hypocrites ask me of my life as a sacrifice in the name of propriety.
My head’s spinning but better sense tells me – stop fighting, it’s a lose-lose situation.
But what about you and me and this thing called life?
What about freewill, freedom and living?

An HIV+ expectant mother speaks:
A pro-life paperback on the community library shelf
encourages sharing of a little fluid between you and me.
They pass a moaning breath of death in the name of love and living.
The anti-death hate-mongers shout for the half-dead life that’s yet to be;
they are the judge and the jury who sentence the three of us to living hell
with an air of conscientiousness and a dab of deception.
But what about you and me and the tomb in my womb?
What about freewill, freedom and the unborn dead?

A victim of religious intolerance speaks:
Heaven’s rendered deaf by empty prayers of forceful conversion;
The Chosen One died for love; devoid of conviction, they kill for hate.
Heads roll in the holy land, blood of innocents fill the Holy Grail;
The angel of death rules over what was once a valley of life.
The tree of knowledge’s made hollow by the termites waging holy war,
The couple in the Garden’s poisoned by the deceiver’s venom.
But what about you and me and this thing called belief?
What about freewill, freedom and faith?

Love is shrouded everyday by the self-appointed Anti-Divorce Squads who make it their business to see to it that estranged couples are not allowed to exercise their personal freedom. Ditto for the Pro-Marriage Squads who try to play god and force unwilling partners to start a life together.
Love is shrouded by the two-faced Anti-Abortion Squads who’d rather see a HIV+ child born and suffer in the name of ‘right to life’ than let it slip into a peaceful, painless sleep.
Love is shrouded by those bigoted Anti-Freewill Squads who force their religious beliefs on others and rob us of our God-granted freewill.
Ironically, all in the name of love!

Ex-Flame: What in the Blazes!

2006-03-11T22:42:00.000+05:30

It’s a strange feeling – bumping into you ex after years. First it’s like, “Hey honey, good to see you.” You get all nostalgic and try catching up on lost time, make mundane enquiries like what’s been going on each other’s lives... yappetty yappetty yap… And then, without warning, your ‘once significant other’ drops the bomb – they still have ‘feelings’ for you!

Unlike the picture perfect world we’d like to live in, reality has something else in store for us. Not all former flames can reconcile with the idea of being relegated to the status of ‘just good friends’. They want more. From you. They want to walk back into your life without much ceremony and, most importantly, they want access to your bedroom again. They somehow carry around this pre-conceived notion that if your ex is nice to you, you still got chances. What in the blazes!

As you must have guessed already, I bumped into an ex today. Our break up was not messy because it was not technically a break up in the first place. We’d simply drifted apart while trying to realise our respective dreams. His dreams were bigger than mine, so he made a bigger move - a move that involved shifting his base to another continent. I respected his guts to chase his dream.

Today that respect was lost. Right after he asked me if there were any chances of us getting together back again and what a mistake he had made by letting me go. It was obvious he was down and out. I wanted to tell him “we made certain choices, so now we have to live with the consequences”. But I didn’t. Simply because I knew my words would be lost on a loser – and when I say loser I mean not in the materialistic sense of the word but as in a person who has lost all sense of self-respect. And that knowledge made me more miserable than I had been when I'd lost him years ago.

Weird Encounters of the Unwanted Kind

2006-03-10T23:22:00.000+05:30

Hallelujah! My PC is up and running and the world looks beautiful again. It took a little bit of common sense and a whole lot of patience (and a few sneak peeks into those techie mags) but it was worth every cuss-word I swallowed back during the process. I, hereby, officially take back whatever nasty stuff I said last night about technology magazines and their do-it-yourself guides. I’m a born again believer now.

However, there’s a downside to having your PC fixed. Though I love my PC because all my friends live there (this I read somewhere and am shamelessly plagiarizing), there are others who mistake networking sites for matrimonial columns. C’mon, getting hitched is not everyone’s ultimate goal in life. Plus, if I want to marry you, I’ll find you then marry you, not the other way around. Anyways, what kind of a loser looks for love on the internet?

Still worse are those who stupidly assume that everyone on the net is looking for virtual sex. Will such people please get a life and then hopefully a good, healthy and real kinda sex life!

Tweaking Blues

2006-03-09T17:37:00.000+05:30

It was just last night my friend was telling me how he could think of nothing to post on our joint blog, which incidentally is not the one you are reading right now. Well, seems like his bloody state of mind is pretty contagious – Day II into this new blog and I’m already groping around for ideas!

For would the fact that my PC has started acting funny after a day of ‘tweaking’ and ‘thorough’ virus / adware / spyware scans be of any interest to anyone else. I think not. Or should I gripe about the major headache I now have ended up with after all that tweaking and turning? Despite the almost irresistible desire, common sense tells me ‘NOPE’.

So before I give in to the temptation and go hollering about how stupid technology magazines and their ‘do-it-yourself’ guides have made life hell for me, allow me to gracefully log out.

Peace.